Dad keeps criticising my university degree choice

OP

Original post by artful_lounger

You can go into law or finance with a geography degree anyway...

I said that and he just wouldn’t listen. Probably because he only knows that the Chinese economy works different to UK. He’s also really annoyed I’m not doing Investment Banking or Law I hear him repeating constantly to my brother he would be very happy if my brother applies for JP Morgan. He’s glad my brother likes that kind of stuff and just annoyed Im not taking a typical Asian career path I think.

Reply 3

Johnny Valentine

14

I feel very sad for you.

My advice is to always do what makes you happy and to have a plan.

You have both so, from my point of view, you are doing the right thing.

I don’t know what to suggest as it’s your dad other than to (calmly) let him know at you respect his opinion, it would make you happy if he could support you and, if he is embarrassed by your degree choice, ask him not to mention the subject to people but feel free to tell them you are going to one of the best universities in the country (which he should be very proud about)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I did geography at ucl for undergrad and masters, and now doing a PhD in geography at Cambridge. I’m also an Asian international student. Actually a lot of people who I did my undergrad with went into banking, finance, consultancy, marketing, data etc. Tbh in the job market nowadays it’s not really about your degree title, but more about the skills you learn at uni. A lot of the stuff we learnt actually were co-taught with economics, engineering, data science, earth sciences depending on your module choices. You can also choose modules outside of geography. If you just go on LinkedIn and search up ucl geography alumni you can see we really have gone into an array of industries. One of the best things about geography at degree level is how versatile the subject is, and the number of sub branches it offers.

I also just want to add that ucl geography is very good I had such a great time! Great lecturers who are top of their field and loads of opportunities for research, networking etc. I loved it while I was there!

Reply 5

dontbeg

1

Original post by TF08060728

Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.

your dad loves you but he aint you keep doing you and dont let him bring you down, trust me when you're up on top in the future he and you are going to forget about everything and laugh together

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

He’s right. My mate did geography and ended up at the reception. Most jobs after geography don’t involve the actual geography so it’s just a waste of time in my opinion. Look into economics or marketing if that’s what you’d like to do after.

Reply 7

OP

Original post by Anonymous #2

He’s right. My mate did geography and ended up at the reception. Most jobs after geography don’t involve the actual geography so it’s just a waste of time in my opinion. Look into economics or marketing if that’s what you’d like to do after.

The unis I like don’t have marketing at undergrad. I was hoping for geography and undergrad to get a range of experiences then do a postgrad in social research methods or marketing. I’m planning in going into environmental or sustainability consultancy therefore I will choose econ modules in uni and sustainability ones. Would that be fine

Reply 8

Original post by TF08060728

Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.

Hey 😭 I'm also Chinese and my dad was berating me for applying for law. He wants me to do medicine but my brother already does medicine and I hate STEM. We can never win smh.

Just do what you want! It's not like you can change it now. Congratulations on the UCL offer!! Did you get Cambridge? He's come to terms with it tho since he knows that there's nothing that can be done. I'm sure it'll be fine. As long as you're ambitious you'll end up in a good career

Reply 9

OP

Original post by Coeoe

Hey 😭 I'm also Chinese and my dad was berating me for applying for law. He wants me to do medicine but my brother already does medicine and I hate STEM. We can never win smh.
Just do what you want! It's not like you can change it now. Congratulations on the UCL offer!! Did you get Cambridge? He's come to terms with it tho since he knows that there's nothing that can be done. I'm sure it'll be fine. As long as you're ambitious you'll end up in a good career

sadly no cambridge I got rejected after interview… thank lord because Im not a fan of the course…

Reply 10

Original post by TF08060728

sadly no cambridge I got rejected after interview… thank lord because Im not a fan of the course…

Hahaha fair enough 😭😭 will you be firming UCL?

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by TF08060728

Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.

Parents will never own up that they are wrong. Don't take it to heart. You know what you want to do and you should do it.

Reply 12

OP

Original post by Coeoe

Hahaha fair enough 😭😭 will you be firming UCL?

If I dont get LSE😭 I absolutely love the course and the fact you can take a language with it! But still hasn’t come. Are you also an applicant this year? Im surprised your parents arent happy with law my parents tried to force me into becoming a lawyer😶

Reply 13

Original post by TF08060728

If I dont get LSE😭 I absolutely love the course and the fact you can take a language with it! But still hasn’t come. Are you also an applicant this year? Im surprised your parents arent happy with law my parents tried to force me into becoming a lawyer😶

Aaaaa best of luck with LSE!! I hope U hear back with good news soonnn.
Yes I am! I got rejected from all 3 London unis tho haha 😆
😩 Idk, they kept telling me that lawyers will be replaced by AI and that I should go into teaching or medicine... they said teaching because... "If you have kids in the future it will be handy, and you'll be off at the same time as them so you can take care of them"
And they like medicine so much because... it's medicine 🤣 so yes they weren't happy with law bahaha

Reply 14

Anonymous #4

Original post by TF08060728

Hi!
So I’ve applied to Geography this year at LSE UCL KCL Southampton and Cambridge and today I received the offer I’ve really wanted from UCL. I was so happy and then my dad heard and he was like well done for UCL but not for Geography. And then he went on a whole rant about how Geography is such a crap subject… you are gonna be poor unemployed and you have no life prospect. I dished out some stats like average salary, employment rate, modules and went full on explaining what Geography is as a subject. Yes it’s a subject with no career path and a lot of people call it soft but it’s also one of the most employable and surprisingly a highly earning degree. I said all that to my dad dished out stats from oxford and LSE’s website. He just wouldn’t hear of it and went back to say I don’t know I just know that everyone I tell think its a sh** subject and it’s embarrassing… He’s trying to force me into law or finance and istg all he cares is money…. No consideration of whether I like it or not… Oh and he wants me to get a dual degree… I know I seem a bit over with my reaction but when he never listens to your dreams and ambitions its super annoying like aren’t parents meant to be understanding? Its fine if its a one time thing but when this gets bought up and his side of the family joins in criticising me all the time it’s just super hard to stay calm. Like personally I love geography but I would like to then do a masters in marketing. I’m really interested in market research or digital marketing and have always wanted to work two companies. I tell him that and he thinks I’m over my mind because I do Geography but I know very clearly what I need to do to get where I want and plan b is consulting. Sorry about this whole rant and stuff but I just really wanted to vent to someone as it was all getting a bit much but thanks so much anyways if anyone reads this.

I don't really know much about geography but I can sort of help with the family bit. I'm a south Asian and my dad wanted me to do medicine, because of this I picked bio, chem and psych at A levels. I hated it. I ended up changing subjects after Y12 and this made it harder to finish my A levels, I ended up doing them in 3 years instead of 2. Obviously I couldn't do medicine but from that I learnt that I need to make the decisions for my life because I am going to go through it. I need to make the choice for uni because I will be learning the content and sitting the exams not my dad. I know asian parents like to have control over their children but there needs to be a point in time where the child should stand up for themselves. It's hard I know. My dad was furious when I wanted to change subjects, he would always taunt me and ask what I would do in life. I'm currently taking a gap year and hoping to study psychology at uni. It's not all calm in my house, but my dad is aware of my decisions and is okay with them. From his point of view, he just wants me to do well and achieve more than he did. I'm not sure if your parents are first gen immigrants, but mine didn't want their hard work going to waste, and want me to do well. I try and reciprocate that in achieving as much as I can but I make sure it's something I'm comfortable with and that I like.

Have you tried getting someone else to speak to him? Why don't you ask your uni what kind of jobs graduates get after their geography degree?

If you do go and study geography he's going to have to accept that at some point and when you graduate then you need to take a firm stand but obviously in a respectful way.

I hope this helps.

Reply 15

Original post by Anonymous #4

I don't really know much about geography but I can sort of help with the family bit. I'm a south Asian and my dad wanted me to do medicine, because of this I picked bio, chem and psych at A levels. I hated it. I ended up changing subjects after Y12 and this made it harder to finish my A levels, I ended up doing them in 3 years instead of 2. Obviously I couldn't do medicine but from that I learnt that I need to make the decisions for my life because I am going to go through it. I need to make the choice for uni because I will be learning the content and sitting the exams not my dad. I know asian parents like to have control over their children but there needs to be a point in time where the child should stand up for themselves. It's hard I know. My dad was furious when I wanted to change subjects, he would always taunt me and ask what I would do in life. I'm currently taking a gap year and hoping to study psychology at uni. It's not all calm in my house, but my dad is aware of my decisions and is okay with them. From his point of view, he just wants me to do well and achieve more than he did. I'm not sure if your parents are first gen immigrants, but mine didn't want their hard work going to waste, and want me to do well. I try and reciprocate that in achieving as much as I can but I make sure it's something I'm comfortable with and that I like.
Have you tried getting someone else to speak to him? Why don't you ask your uni what kind of jobs graduates get after their geography degree?
If you do go and study geography he's going to have to accept that at some point and when you graduate then you need to take a firm stand but obviously in a respectful way.
I hope this helps.

😔 us first gen kids all lead the same life huh. I literally do chem and bio because of med too. I ended up applying for law in the UK. (I did give in and applied for dentistry and then law below it here in Ireland)

Reply 16

OP

Original post by Anonymous #4

I don't really know much about geography but I can sort of help with the family bit. I'm a south Asian and my dad wanted me to do medicine, because of this I picked bio, chem and psych at A levels. I hated it. I ended up changing subjects after Y12 and this made it harder to finish my A levels, I ended up doing them in 3 years instead of 2. Obviously I couldn't do medicine but from that I learnt that I need to make the decisions for my life because I am going to go through it. I need to make the choice for uni because I will be learning the content and sitting the exams not my dad. I know asian parents like to have control over their children but there needs to be a point in time where the child should stand up for themselves. It's hard I know. My dad was furious when I wanted to change subjects, he would always taunt me and ask what I would do in life. I'm currently taking a gap year and hoping to study psychology at uni. It's not all calm in my house, but my dad is aware of my decisions and is okay with them. From his point of view, he just wants me to do well and achieve more than he did. I'm not sure if your parents are first gen immigrants, but mine didn't want their hard work going to waste, and want me to do well. I try and reciprocate that in achieving as much as I can but I make sure it's something I'm comfortable with and that I like.
Have you tried getting someone else to speak to him? Why don't you ask your uni what kind of jobs graduates get after their geography degree?
If you do go and study geography he's going to have to accept that at some point and when you graduate then you need to take a firm stand but obviously in a respectful way.
I hope this helps.

Yes I think our situation is really similar. I changed from English to chemistry because my parents originally wanted me to do law and I went along with it. My parents when I was younger were very controlling so I followed what they wanted and I gave up on fashion designing but I think since coming to my sixth form I really started to understand the importance of respecting my own opinions and stand up for myself. My parents of course weren’t very happy because I just don’t do whatever they say now so that was quite a blow to them. And yes my parents are first gen immigrants and they lived in quite extreme poverty so they tried really hard to get to the place I’m at and would do anything like pay for private school and tutoring so I understand that they want the best for me. I did my research and I see many graduates going into finance, audit and marketing and that’s where my interest is and 100% employment rate with 31k average starting salary which I think is really good. But of course they still don’t believe me but I think I’ve come to terms that they need some time to accept changes.

Reply 17

OP

Original post by Coeoe

Aaaaa best of luck with LSE!! I hope U hear back with good news soonnn.
Yes I am! I got rejected from all 3 London unis tho haha 😆
😩 Idk, they kept telling me that lawyers will be replaced by AI and that I should go into teaching or medicine... they said teaching because... "If you have kids in the future it will be handy, and you'll be off at the same time as them so you can take care of them"
And they like medicine so much because... it's medicine 🤣 so yes they weren't happy with law bahaha

Well I do know London especially for Law is extremely competitive so I’m sure it’s not your issue you are 100% an amazing applicant! I wish you all the best in the future and hope you can study your dream course and your dream school! And thank you so much!

Reply 18