My friends get less and less excited to see me (advice please)
Hi, I would really appreciate advice.
I've recently had this friend for almost a year at this momment in time. She is a year younger than me and we are both in uni atm. Recently i've been going through a depressive stage the past month and its made me worry about my current relationships, including this one. I've felt that we chat less, when they see me they arn't actually happy or anything compared to other people and recently they have started teasing me a lot. A lot of my friends tease me and it has happened a lot in my life so I have no clue why.
Recently, I don't know why but I have been struggling with conversation, my mind is constantly blank and its becoming more frequent. E.g. When people say things in a convo and i'm just like 'uh yeah...' thinking, what on earth do i do with that, what do i say??
I ended up chatting to my friend and saying i just need a little reassurance but is everything okay, (and mentioned the thing's above). she said i was not wrong and that its felt like that for months. Mentally she's not doing well currenlty and her job leaves her really stressed, so i thought it may just be that. (however that would explain why shes just less happy to see me). So i thought it was just that, but then she dropped a bomb about how she has been thinking about dropping me the past few months .
I spent the whole next day really spaced out as i thought this person was one of my best friends, especially as i hang out with them really frequently. She told me the teasing is because i've been ****ing her off and its the only way to express it. Due to my past i've kinda got the response on when things go badly for no stated reason i start to walk on egg shells and she says thats completly exguahsting. So i'm trying to be more chill but i am really worried about losing her as a friend. However it is significantly plaguing my mind.
During this long chat it also was brought up that I may have autism (from her perspective), she does work with people in a professional setting that does occasionally deal with autism and she knows quite a few people who do have it. And she has also mentioned that she has even had to cover for me when a girl asked her if i was going to kiss her by how i gave a hug (i have no clue ). I am planning to go get tested and go to a counselling session to get some help.
This isnt the first time I have felt this way with friends feeling less excited to see me so i'm really worried. I struggle making lasting friendships and I don't want to lose friends at such a crucial point in my life.
I would really appriciate some advice,
Some guy
(Thank you)
I've recently had this friend for almost a year at this momment in time. She is a year younger than me and we are both in uni atm. Recently i've been going through a depressive stage the past month and its made me worry about my current relationships, including this one. I've felt that we chat less, when they see me they arn't actually happy or anything compared to other people and recently they have started teasing me a lot. A lot of my friends tease me and it has happened a lot in my life so I have no clue why.
Recently, I don't know why but I have been struggling with conversation, my mind is constantly blank and its becoming more frequent. E.g. When people say things in a convo and i'm just like 'uh yeah...' thinking, what on earth do i do with that, what do i say??
I ended up chatting to my friend and saying i just need a little reassurance but is everything okay, (and mentioned the thing's above). she said i was not wrong and that its felt like that for months. Mentally she's not doing well currenlty and her job leaves her really stressed, so i thought it may just be that. (however that would explain why shes just less happy to see me). So i thought it was just that, but then she dropped a bomb about how she has been thinking about dropping me the past few months .
I spent the whole next day really spaced out as i thought this person was one of my best friends, especially as i hang out with them really frequently. She told me the teasing is because i've been ****ing her off and its the only way to express it. Due to my past i've kinda got the response on when things go badly for no stated reason i start to walk on egg shells and she says thats completly exguahsting. So i'm trying to be more chill but i am really worried about losing her as a friend. However it is significantly plaguing my mind.
During this long chat it also was brought up that I may have autism (from her perspective), she does work with people in a professional setting that does occasionally deal with autism and she knows quite a few people who do have it. And she has also mentioned that she has even had to cover for me when a girl asked her if i was going to kiss her by how i gave a hug (i have no clue ). I am planning to go get tested and go to a counselling session to get some help.
This isnt the first time I have felt this way with friends feeling less excited to see me so i'm really worried. I struggle making lasting friendships and I don't want to lose friends at such a crucial point in my life.
I would really appriciate some advice,
Some guy
(Thank you)
Hey pal hope everything goes well for you.
Communication is a key skill that is important in day to day life, professional life and private life. At the end of the day it's a skill, some people are inherently better off at communicating than others and that's okay.
The good thing for you that it's a skill. This means the more you work on it the better you will get. Try and read more as that will help you with your vocabulary, creativity and confidence. No one is here forever, sadly it feels like you have to let that friend go. Hang around with people that care about you and are interested in your story and who you are as a person. We all have unique experiences and stories.
Work on your overall wellbeing including eating well, sleeping well, practicing good hygiene, gym and a sports that you enjoy. That a great way to make yourself better and interesting. It gives you something to speak about. Find hobbies that you enjoy, perhaps drawing, jogging, watching football. Doing things and experiencing things give you something to speak about to others.
You can even buy books on communication and friendships which may also be helpful for you.
Be more confident in who you are and also make sure you are interested in other people as well just the way you want them to be interested in you. Plan something together, watch something together, both parties have to work on a relationship to make it work, it's not enough if just one person puts all the effort in.
Best wishes
Communication is a key skill that is important in day to day life, professional life and private life. At the end of the day it's a skill, some people are inherently better off at communicating than others and that's okay.
The good thing for you that it's a skill. This means the more you work on it the better you will get. Try and read more as that will help you with your vocabulary, creativity and confidence. No one is here forever, sadly it feels like you have to let that friend go. Hang around with people that care about you and are interested in your story and who you are as a person. We all have unique experiences and stories.
Work on your overall wellbeing including eating well, sleeping well, practicing good hygiene, gym and a sports that you enjoy. That a great way to make yourself better and interesting. It gives you something to speak about. Find hobbies that you enjoy, perhaps drawing, jogging, watching football. Doing things and experiencing things give you something to speak about to others.
You can even buy books on communication and friendships which may also be helpful for you.
Be more confident in who you are and also make sure you are interested in other people as well just the way you want them to be interested in you. Plan something together, watch something together, both parties have to work on a relationship to make it work, it's not enough if just one person puts all the effort in.
Best wishes
(edited 4 months ago)
