My fiancé isn’t happy

So this week my fiancés mother invited me around to hers for dinner and I was supposed to inform my parents that I’m going earlier on but I forgot and I told her on the day. Today my sister and her husband were coming over aswell and I told my mum last minute oh I need to go to my in laws for dinner but my mums said she’s unwell which she is and needed my help and she wanted me to be there as a family. My fiancés family did prepare for me I feel bad but my mums was genuinely unwell but then she still hosted my sister and her husband. My fiancé isn’t happy that I cancelled last minute honestly I felt bad because my mum was unwell. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong I did apologise because it’s not nice to cancel last minute

Reply 1

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by xoanonxo

So this week my fiancés mother invited me around to hers for dinner and I was supposed to inform my parents that I’m going earlier on but I forgot and I told her on the day. Today my sister and her husband were coming over aswell and I told my mum last minute oh I need to go to my in laws for dinner but my mums said she’s unwell which she is and needed my help and she wanted me to be there as a family. My fiancés family did prepare for me I feel bad but my mums was genuinely unwell but then she still hosted my sister and her husband. My fiancé isn’t happy that I cancelled last minute honestly I felt bad because my mum was unwell. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong I did apologise because it’s not nice to cancel last minute

What was the reason you cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?

1. Your mum had arranged a family meal with your sister and her husband (which she only told you about today) and "she wanted me to be there as a family"? If she had not been ill, but had still wanted you to be there, would you still have cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?

2. Your mum was unwell. So unwell that she wanted you to cancel your plans, but not so unwell that she was prepared to cancel the family meal which she had arranged. So, really not terribly unwell at all.

Do your mum and your fiancé get on? I just find it strange that your mum would be so willing to damage the relationship between you and your fiancé (and with your fiancé's parents), for the sake of a family meal which she hadn't even told you about beforehand.

Reply 2

xoanonxo

OP

3

Original post by DataVenia

What was the reason you cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?
1. Your mum had arranged a family meal with your sister and her husband (which she only told you about today) and "she wanted me to be there as a family"? If she had not been ill, but had still wanted you to be there, would you still have cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?
2. Your mum was unwell. So unwell that she wanted you to cancel your plans, but not so unwell that she was prepared to cancel the family meal which she had arranged. So, really not terribly unwell at all.
Do your mum and your fiancé get on? I just find it strange that your mum would be so willing to damage the relationship between you and your fiancé (and with your fiancé's parents), for the sake of a family meal which she hadn't even told you about beforehand.

My mum did tell me beforehand, but my mistake was that I didnt tell her in advance. Yes, they do get along my mum has nothing wrong with my fiancé. Maybe I should've told beforehand

Reply 3

xoanonxo

OP

3

Original post by DataVenia

What was the reason you cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?
1. Your mum had arranged a family meal with your sister and her husband (which she only told you about today) and "she wanted me to be there as a family"? If she had not been ill, but had still wanted you to be there, would you still have cancelled dinner with your fiancé's parents?
2. Your mum was unwell. So unwell that she wanted you to cancel your plans, but not so unwell that she was prepared to cancel the family meal which she had arranged. So, really not terribly unwell at all.
Do your mum and your fiancé get on? I just find it strange that your mum would be so willing to damage the relationship between you and your fiancé (and with your fiancé's parents), for the sake of a family meal which she hadn't even told you about beforehand.

my reason was that my mum needs my help she was unwell

Reply 4

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by xoanonxo

My mum did tell me beforehand...

So at the time you accepted the invitation to dinner from your fiancé's parents you already knew that your mum had invited your sister and her husband around the same day, and that "she wanted me to be there as a family"? Yet you made the decision to not attend the family meal (a decision which you forgot to inform your mum of) in order to accept your fiancé's patents' invitation. It's only later, when you mum became ill, that you realised she'd need your help with the family dinner. Is that right?

OK. Let's try a thought experiment. Let's suppose than when your mum said she needed you to cancel your plans with your fiancé's patents, in order to help her with the family dinner, that you'd have said, "I'm sorry. I've made a commitment to be elsewhere, and the right thing for me to do is to honour that committment. Unfortunately, you'll need to cancel the family dinner."

Instead of your fiancée being unhappy, it would have been you mum (and possibly your sister). Which of these two situations would have been least bad?

Reply 5

bones-mccoy

19

I think you should have still gone to your fiance's mum's dinner. If your mum needed help, there were other people there to provide that unless there's a very specific reason why it had to be you. And like others have said, if she was that unwell, she wouldn't have been able to host a meal in the first place.

Reply 6

Little pecker

20

Cancel the wedding

My fiancé isn’t happy

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you