Worried & scared | sex - advice...

Cut a long story short - last weekend I stupidly slept with someone (the regret & guilt is killing me - known him since December, not a randomer). I insisted on a condom (I'm on the coil but I didn't tell him this), however part way through he took off without my consent (what a lovely guy!!). Just as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out & 'cummed' over the bedsheets. As a result, I'm ****ting myself about STIs (esp HIV), & pregnancy! Now, my period has started, started Thursday / Friday, but I'm still worried that I could potentially still be pregnant??

I stupidly shaved my pubic area so I'm itching like crazy. But I'm checking my bits everyday & all appears ok. Although my vagina feels a tad irritated & I feel a burning sensation which I experience at the beginning of my period which I think is due to my coil. The burning sensation often subsides when I'm 1/2 way through period.

I've called the local GUM clinic, explained & I can't get an appt. any earlier than 3 weeks time!! My local GP advised me to go there as they're overrun / have no appointments. I can't attend a walk in clinic either because I've just started a new job & to start taking time off this early on into new employment is taking the piss!

So I'm in a dilemma; my days are filled with dread & worry, & I'm constantly googling which I know is the worse thing to be doing. I know now probably isn't a good time to get tested as I'm on my period & it's too early? but I just want my mind at rest so I can concentrate on life properly.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

Cut a long story short - last weekend I stupidly slept with someone (the regret & guilt is killing me - known him since December, not a randomer). I insisted on a condom (I'm on the coil but I didn't tell him this), however part way through he took off without my consent (what a lovely guy!!). Just as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out & 'cummed' over the bedsheets. As a result, I'm ****ting myself about STIs (esp HIV), & pregnancy! Now, my period has started, started Thursday / Friday, but I'm still worried that I could potentially still be pregnant??

I stupidly shaved my pubic area so I'm itching like crazy. But I'm checking my bits everyday & all appears ok. Although my vagina feels a tad irritated & I feel a burning sensation which I experience at the beginning of my period which I think is due to my coil. The burning sensation often subsides when I'm 1/2 way through period.

I've called the local GUM clinic, explained & I can't get an appt. any earlier than 3 weeks time!! My local GP advised me to go there as they're overrun / have no appointments. I can't attend a walk in clinic either because I've just started a new job & to start taking time off this early on into new employment is taking the piss!

So I'm in a dilemma; my days are filled with dread & worry, & I'm constantly googling which I know is the worse thing to be doing. I know now probably isn't a good time to get tested as I'm on my period & it's too early? but I just want my mind at rest so I can concentrate on life properly.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

he took off without my consent (what a lovely guy!!). Just as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out & 'cummed' over the bedsheets

There are GUM clinics that do walk in sessions where you don't need to book an appointment? Does your local one not do this?

If you re on the coil, i wouldnt be worrying about pregnancy especially after having a period already so i d forget about the possibility, are you on the hormonal coil? that type could be messing with your periods and after all any thing can mess with womens periods. As for STI risks, get to the GUM clinic or a walk in and get a blood and urine test as soon as you can, if anything turns up except hiv then it should be treatable in some way even after a bit of time has passed. Are you not available in the evenings or anything, not sure if an out of hours gp could help you but worth trying.

Okay, firstly, what an ******* for taking the condom off. Secondly, there is a SMALL chance you could get pregnant as a result of him ejaculating over your bedsheets, HOWEVER it's unlikely. If he would have ejaculated inside of you then, yes you could be pregnant.
Secondly, I don't think you have an STI. You mentioned that the burning sensation is a common thing on coil, so I wouldn't worry about that.
Now, I'm not a medical expert or anything, but I truly believe that you should stop worrying because when weighing up the possibilities, they're all very low.

How delightful!

Honestly, I think the chance of you being pregnant is extremely unlikely, but I would still recommend you going and get checked out for STDs (seeing as he decided to slip the condom of half way through!!). I'm sure you'll be fine.

Yes, the walk-in sessions at my local clinic start from 8.30am - I start work at that time, and don't finish til 4.30pm! So it's difficult. And when I spoke to the Nurse at my Drs about potentially coming in for testing, she immediately said we have no appts, you're better off going to the clinic!



I'm on the Copper coil, and it has taken a while to settle, but this burning sensation I get each month is annoying, and also quite painful! Without being too graphic sometimes you can smell the copper!

Yes, I am available in the evenings, but the walk in clinics finish / take their quota by 11.30am, and the rest of the day it's for bookable appointments only. The earliest appointment I could get is the 13th July! So another 2 weeks of worrying and fretting!



What's most upsetting is I trusted him, and then for him to do that and then turn around and say ''Oh it fell off''! Bullocks!

The pregnancy aspect of things, I wasn't sure because of pre cum . he himself ''Oh I don't think I did'', but you never know! But the majority of his 'load' when over the bedsheets, he literally pushed me off!

As for the STI, I am worrying big time because when I was 21, someone forced themselves onto me (basically rape), and gave me the wonderful STI, Chlamydia! So that is why I am so so careful and never engage in unprotected sex. This incident has just brought all the emotions back from that incident again. The worry, lack of sleep, constant googling and fear. I know, I sound like a Drama Queen, but when you've been through that, you can't help but think.

As you are on the coil you shouldnt be pregnant anyway, as for stis from previous experience you know they're most treatable, just do your best to get yourself to a medical professional on the next possible day you can, as you may be aware the quicker the treatment the better and your health should be very important to you, worst case scenario can you get work cover for an hour or 2?

there is always the option of getting a test kit from your pharmacy?
https://onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com/uk/sexual-health
they can only do urine tests but lessens worry until you can get your bloods taken.

I'm going to try calling again tomorrow, and asking to speak to the Nurse at my local GP surgery, who deals with sexual health), and see if I can be seen. I explained to the Nurse last week what had happened, and I thought she might've asked me to come to the clinic asap. But she just dismissed it (sort of), and said go the GUM as they'll see me quicker! Well yes, that might be the case but I can't get there! She did however advise me to do one of those DIY Chlamydia tests which I did last week Tuesday, but I have heard nothing. I guess no news is good news? . .

As for the Lloyds Pharmacy testing, I didn't know those even existed, so thank you for the link. But I can't do any of those as the sexual intercourse took place last week Sunday! Too early to test which is the argument I had with the lady on the phone at GUM ''We can't test yet as it's too early. We can test from 3 weeks onwards''. In a sense I felt like she was preventing me from having an appointment earlier than the 3 week window! BUT if I was to attend the 'walk in' clinic, I would be seen! Double standards?!

Some sti's dont show up in large enough amounts to give a positive test until you ve waited a good amount of time, a week wouldnt be enough for some of them for sure.Just get the tests as soon as is reasonable to get an accurate result and if need be i think lloyds prescribe treatment so no need to go to the gp.
I m afraid as is usual with NHS services, its not a case of seeing anyone at your convince i m afraid if you are, that concerned you might want to take a couple of hours out of work and see a sexual health nurse rather than waiting for the GUM clinic appointment.

This is the problem! If I go now, there is a possibility nothing will show up yet! However it makes no sense me going now anyway because I am full flow of my period (literally Niagara Falls)! I won't finish until end of the week, which by then we're back into weekend, which will make 2 x weeks since unprotected sex! My appointment is the following week (13th July), which means w/c 6th July, would there be any point trying to be seen then? This is all just a royal pain in the backside!

I really wish I never slept with this bloke because this just seems to be dominating my life right now

2 weeks would mean that you would probably be able to get all the tests done, rather than having them done right now and getting false negatives, waiting will be worth while. You can have urine screening done on your periods, but obviously having blood done could make you a little on the weak side.

Zero chance of being pregnant. I would say very low risk of sti from this limited exposure. Try not to worry am sure all will be well.

Ok, I'll leave it for now and get it done w/c 6th July. And then go again on my actually appointment 13th July. In the meantime, I will continue keeping an eye on my bits; doesn't help I stupidly shaved my pubic area, and I am itching so bad!

All this stress and worry I have been put through unnecessarily because of a dickhead man who did not listen to my requests! Selfish selfish bastard!

Cut a long story short - last weekend I stupidly slept with someone (the regret & guilt is killing me - known him since December, not a randomer). I insisted on a condom (I'm on the coil but I didn't tell him this), however part way through he took off without my consent (what a lovely guy!!). Just as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out & 'cummed' over the bedsheets. As a result, I'm ****ting myself about STIs (esp HIV), & pregnancy! Now, my period has started, started Thursday / Friday, but I'm still worried that I could potentially still be pregnant??

I stupidly shaved my pubic area so I'm itching like crazy. But I'm checking my bits everyday & all appears ok. Although my vagina feels a tad irritated & I feel a burning sensation which I experience at the beginning of my period which I think is due to my coil. The burning sensation often subsides when I'm 1/2 way through period.

I've called the local GUM clinic, explained & I can't get an appt. any earlier than 3 weeks time!! My local GP advised me to go there as they're overrun / have no appointments. I can't attend a walk in clinic either because I've just started a new job & to start taking time off this early on into new employment is taking the piss!

So I'm in a dilemma; my days are filled with dread & worry, & I'm constantly googling which I know is the worse thing to be doing. I know now probably isn't a good time to get tested as I'm on my period & it's too early? but I just want my mind at rest so I can concentrate on life properly.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

if you live in London, the NHS offers some saturday walk in clinics