Feeling anxious due to perfectionism in exams
Hi, just for a bit of background I'm currently doing my a2 exams in German, Physics and Maths and predicted A*AA and scored very highly in AS. I come from a highly academic family, I have an older brother who studied Physics, Maths and Chemistry and did extremely well (A*s and A) and a twin who is also doing very well, predicted A*AA also in Physics, Maths and Chemistry. I'm doing my exams now and have spent months preparing and was on track for my predicted results. However, I did my physics unit 4 on Monday and completely panicked, this has never happened to me before and I ended up making so many silly mistakes. My perfectionist attitude towards everything has made me hate myself and constantly picking through where I lost marks in the exam. I don't mean to sound like "that person" but in my eyes and the eyes of my family, a B is a fail. I don't want to disappoint them and I worry that this feeling of anxiety will negatively impact on the rest of my exams. Any advice?
Original post by jodyb
Hi, just for a bit of background I'm currently doing my a2 exams in German, Physics and Maths and predicted A*AA and scored very highly in AS. I come from a highly academic family, I have an older brother who studied Physics, Maths and Chemistry and did extremely well (A*s and A) and a twin who is also doing very well, predicted A*AA also in Physics, Maths and Chemistry. I'm doing my exams now and have spent months preparing and was on track for my predicted results. However, I did my physics unit 4 on Monday and completely panicked, this has never happened to me before and I ended up making so many silly mistakes. My perfectionist attitude towards everything has made me hate myself and constantly picking through where I lost marks in the exam. I don't mean to sound like "that person" but in my eyes and the eyes of my family, a B is a fail. I don't want to disappoint them and I worry that this feeling of anxiety will negatively impact on the rest of my exams. Any advice?
Im the same as you, pretty much exact same situation minus the siblings.
I tried to not care pretty much, I know I have the ability and I've been putting in the work so I just relaxed and it worked this morning. I did bad for my standards in unit 4 this Monday as well and I decided to just relax.
When I do tests in college, im not revising hard for them and just turn up and do well, so going to try and do the same for my last 4 exams.
Good luck
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Original post by MahuduElec
Im the same as you, pretty much exact same situation minus the siblings.
I tried to not care pretty much, I know I have the ability and I've been putting in the work so I just relaxed and it worked this morning. I did bad for my standards in unit 4 this Monday as well and I decided to just relax.
When I do tests in college, im not revising hard for them and just turn up and do well, so going to try and do the same for my last 4 exams.
Good luck
Posted from TSR Mobile
I tried to not care pretty much, I know I have the ability and I've been putting in the work so I just relaxed and it worked this morning. I did bad for my standards in unit 4 this Monday as well and I decided to just relax.
When I do tests in college, im not revising hard for them and just turn up and do well, so going to try and do the same for my last 4 exams.
Good luck
Posted from TSR Mobile
Thanks for the advice I'll try to do the same
Remind yourself that you've work hard, you've already achieved more than most, and nobody on this Earth has the right to expect more from you than your best.
Original post by WhisperingTide
Remind yourself that you've work hard, you've already achieved more than most, and nobody on this Earth has the right to expect more from you than your best.
Thanks, to be honest I feel like most of the pressure is what I'm putting on myself
this has made me feel much more positive though Original post by jodyb
Hi, just for a bit of background I'm currently doing my a2 exams in German, Physics and Maths and predicted A*AA and scored very highly in AS. I come from a highly academic family, I have an older brother who studied Physics, Maths and Chemistry and did extremely well (A*s and A) and a twin who is also doing very well, predicted A*AA also in Physics, Maths and Chemistry. I'm doing my exams now and have spent months preparing and was on track for my predicted results. However, I did my physics unit 4 on Monday and completely panicked, this has never happened to me before and I ended up making so many silly mistakes. My perfectionist attitude towards everything has made me hate myself and constantly picking through where I lost marks in the exam. I don't mean to sound like "that person" but in my eyes and the eyes of my family, a B is a fail. I don't want to disappoint them and I worry that this feeling of anxiety will negatively impact on the rest of my exams. Any advice?
Hi! You're definitely not alone. My anxiety problems are often very much rooted in academic perfectionism. For general anxiety management tips, deep breathing techniques are key. I find a technique called 'belly breathing' very useful, and there are apps like Pacifica which you can download for free, and these walk you through the breathing exercises.
Plus my counsellor gave me this worksheet and I have found it really helpful, hopefully you will be able to derive some benefit from it as well
https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf
At the end of the day, your worth as a human being is not determined by your grades. I know it can be really hard to believe this, but it's true. You've done your best and that's all that anyone can ask of you: that's all you can ask of yourself.
Wishing you the best with everything!
Original post by lishskiroyale
Hi! You're definitely not alone. My anxiety problems are often very much rooted in academic perfectionism. For general anxiety management tips, deep breathing techniques are key. I find a technique called 'belly breathing' very useful, and there are apps like Pacifica which you can download for free, and these walk you through the breathing exercises.
Plus my counsellor gave me this worksheet and I have found it really helpful, hopefully you will be able to derive some benefit from it as well
https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf
At the end of the day, your worth as a human being is not determined by your grades. I know it can be really hard to believe this, but it's true. You've done your best and that's all that anyone can ask of you: that's all you can ask of yourself.
Wishing you the best with everything!
Plus my counsellor gave me this worksheet and I have found it really helpful, hopefully you will be able to derive some benefit from it as well
https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf
At the end of the day, your worth as a human being is not determined by your grades. I know it can be really hard to believe this, but it's true. You've done your best and that's all that anyone can ask of you: that's all you can ask of yourself.
Wishing you the best with everything!
This article is so helpful thank you so much and thank you for your kind words, all the best to you too
There's some good advice in this thread. You recognise it as "your perfectionism": you've created it and you can change it. It holds assumptions about what your family will think, but have you actually asked them would they would think if you got a B grade? Ask them! If you feel embarrassed about asking them, it's probably you know what they will say (they suppport you in whatever you achieve). It's important that you embrace this.
The suggested belly breathing is so useful, but rarely taken seriously. By using and developing these techniques, you will feel more relaxed:
http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/
You can also combine them with affirmations that will stabilise your mood during the exam. From your post your internal dialogue is focusing on future fearful outcomes. It is currently saying something like "if I don't get an A, my family will be so disappointed...I won't be good enough...etc..." which is raising your anxiety. Can you create one that will lower your perfectionism and help you focus on the present in the exam room?
The suggested belly breathing is so useful, but rarely taken seriously. By using and developing these techniques, you will feel more relaxed:
http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/
You can also combine them with affirmations that will stabilise your mood during the exam. From your post your internal dialogue is focusing on future fearful outcomes. It is currently saying something like "if I don't get an A, my family will be so disappointed...I won't be good enough...etc..." which is raising your anxiety. Can you create one that will lower your perfectionism and help you focus on the present in the exam room?
oh god this is exactly what i'm going through right now
