Has my boyf been watching porn? Again??
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Original post by Anonymous
There's nothing wrong with watching porn. Every guy has done it before.
So what? It doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He's probably imagining your head on each of the girls, so just deal with it.
Blokes. Watch. Porn.
Its just a given. Nothing to do but either ignore.. Or join in!
Blokes. Watch. Porn.
Its just a given. Nothing to do but either ignore.. Or join in!
The OP (and those defending her) are being silly.
Just stop talking *******s yeah?
Original post by mrs120
PLUS: it's never 'just porn'... WAY too many people assume it's harmless. It isn't.
PLUS: it's never 'just porn'... WAY too many people assume it's harmless. It isn't.
Just stop talking *******s yeah?
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by cokee
Where are you getting this naive, romantic, girl-centric view of the world from?
Whilst I appreciate I don't share the same thoughts, emotions and mindset of the male population there are a few things I can say with great certainty and that is "the vast majority of men look" in the order of 99 to 99.9% .
We have also sussed women out, we know you want the "illusion of love" and there are those who will see you and your distain for men who aren't 100% monogamous in thought and action and say what you want to hear.
You also seem to think love and desire are encompassed into one feeling. That once you are in love any lust for other females goes? and love is pure and removes all desires you once had? Why are you thinking men have the same mindset as women and sex/physical touching is an extension of their love?
I know the idea of looking at someone else when you truly love someone seems alien to you, but this down to you thinking of it from a female perspective, hey it is in your biology. Girls on the whole don't "check guys out and want to **** them without the love attached"
Lastly, why did your friends who don't want to be with you lie to you? Simple, it's called keeping up appearances. They might end up with someone you know who shares your romantic view of life and you could mess things up by saying, "he's a wrong one him, he looks at other girls!!"
I have yet to be proved wrong. Even the shy geeky "good guys" in the comfort of close male friends settings are a lot more perverse than they lead on. You seemed to miss my line of "do they treat you like one of the guys" is that, do they tell you the crude thoughts that run through their mind? Who they **** over? No? thought not.
Whilst I appreciate I don't share the same thoughts, emotions and mindset of the male population there are a few things I can say with great certainty and that is "the vast majority of men look" in the order of 99 to 99.9% .
We have also sussed women out, we know you want the "illusion of love" and there are those who will see you and your distain for men who aren't 100% monogamous in thought and action and say what you want to hear.
You also seem to think love and desire are encompassed into one feeling. That once you are in love any lust for other females goes? and love is pure and removes all desires you once had? Why are you thinking men have the same mindset as women and sex/physical touching is an extension of their love?
I know the idea of looking at someone else when you truly love someone seems alien to you, but this down to you thinking of it from a female perspective, hey it is in your biology. Girls on the whole don't "check guys out and want to **** them without the love attached"
Lastly, why did your friends who don't want to be with you lie to you? Simple, it's called keeping up appearances. They might end up with someone you know who shares your romantic view of life and you could mess things up by saying, "he's a wrong one him, he looks at other girls!!"
I have yet to be proved wrong. Even the shy geeky "good guys" in the comfort of close male friends settings are a lot more perverse than they lead on. You seemed to miss my line of "do they treat you like one of the guys" is that, do they tell you the crude thoughts that run through their mind? Who they **** over? No? thought not.
Lol, honey, first of all, I can tell you for sure I'm surrounded by a lot of sorts of different beliefs/views/attitudes. And not the sort of background you come from only. You seem to speak only of what you see and hear from your friends. Second, of course it's normal to 'look' around - it is normal to find others attractive - but ****, do you want to have sex with every girl you find attractive? That doesn't make you a 'normal man', it makes you a pervert - you just like to view women as sex idols. Please honestly answer, have you ever been in love? I doubt you have. When you love someone, you will realise that you have a special sort of 'sexual' attraction towards them. Not just the desire to '****, kick out of the bed, enjoy your fag'. Yes, love and lust do have a connection. But sure, I don't take a guy touching me as a signal of 'emotional attraction' - that's why I don't let any guy touch me
Alright, I can also assure you that some girls certainly do think 'he's hot, I want him between my legs' - without love being attached. You seem to think that only guys have sexual desires, which is wrong. No, sorry but what you said about some guys lying to me about their attitude towards girls is bull****. To be honest, we don't have that circle of friends who date one another. It's just obvious from their general attitude towards girls, or simply, just their lifestyle, how decent they are. And lastly, concerning your last sentence, yes, some of my what-can-i-do-I'm-a-guy sort of friends certainly do tell me who they **** over.
In short, just get over yourself and stop thinking all guys are like you. Or you know what, it doesn't matter if you think this way because it doesn't change reality. The world population is 7 billion my dear. Au revoir.
Original post by Pyrrho
The word Condescension comes to mind...
I've been in a relationship with my gf for almost 3 years. Right from the beginning it has always been assumed to be a very long term relationship. But not a week goes by where I don't watch porn. At the same time, I love my gf very much and would not want to be with anyone else.
So you're just plain wrong when you say if I loved my gf I would only think of her.
I've been in a relationship with my gf for almost 3 years. Right from the beginning it has always been assumed to be a very long term relationship. But not a week goes by where I don't watch porn. At the same time, I love my gf very much and would not want to be with anyone else.
So you're just plain wrong when you say if I loved my gf I would only think of her.
If your gf doesn't have a problem with it, I don't care. Though tell me honestly how you would feel if your gf was fantasizing about guys other than you? If you wouldn't mind, I've got nothing to tell you. But I still think it's wrong for a guy to imagine other girls while he says he is in love with someone. Sorry. I can't help but think the fact that you watch so much porn has put those fantasies in your head.
Edit: I think it's right to mention here that as I could see porn in your book and in your relationship is perfectly fine, whereas for some others it is not and even for some guys. So you see, it is pretty much subjective. But then again - not every guy is the same. The same goes for girls - not every girl is the same (lovey dovey).
(edited 13 years ago)
When I was about 15 and did not understand relationships, I hated my boyfriend watching porn. It made me feel sick and really upset and I made him promise not to watch it.
Now... I know I was just being young and stupid. WHO cares if your boyfriend watches porn. Honestly it does not mean he wants to have sex with someone else. If he did, he would have dumped you or cheated on you by now.
I know you think the issue is the fact he made the promise and then *maybe* broke it. What would you do if you did something you enjoyed that meant NOTHING, but then your girlfriend/boyfriend started crying and saying how much it hurt them and why would you do it to them bla bla bla. OF COURSE he is going to promise he wont do it again. That shows how much he loves you - the fact he is willing to say that just so you will be happy again.
You do not even know if he has watched porn again but even if he has get over it. Even if you do not think so yourself, you made him make that promise to you.
By going on about it you're going to push him away.
Now... I know I was just being young and stupid. WHO cares if your boyfriend watches porn. Honestly it does not mean he wants to have sex with someone else. If he did, he would have dumped you or cheated on you by now.
I know you think the issue is the fact he made the promise and then *maybe* broke it. What would you do if you did something you enjoyed that meant NOTHING, but then your girlfriend/boyfriend started crying and saying how much it hurt them and why would you do it to them bla bla bla. OF COURSE he is going to promise he wont do it again. That shows how much he loves you - the fact he is willing to say that just so you will be happy again.
You do not even know if he has watched porn again but even if he has get over it. Even if you do not think so yourself, you made him make that promise to you.
By going on about it you're going to push him away.
Original post by OceanSoul
Lol, honey, first of all, I can tell you for sure I'm surrounded by a lot of sorts of different beliefs/views/attitudes. And not the sort of background you come from only. You seem to speak only of what you see and hear from your friends. Second, of course it's normal to 'look' around - it is normal to find others attractive - but ****, do you want to have sex with every girl you find attractive? That doesn't make you a 'normal man', it makes you a pervert - you just like to view women as sex idols. Please honestly answer, have you ever been in love? I doubt you have. When you love someone, you will realise that you have a special sort of 'sexual' attraction towards them. Not just the desire to '****, kick out of the bed, enjoy your fag'. Yes, love and lust do have a connection. But sure, I don't take a guy touching me as a signal of 'emotional attraction' - that's why I don't let any guy touch me Alright, I can also assure you that some girls certainly do think 'he's hot, I want him between my legs' - without love being attached. You seem to think that only guys have sexual desires, which is wrong.
No, sorry but what you said about some guys lying to me about their attitude towards girls is bull****. To be honest, we don't have that circle of friends who date one another. It's just obvious from their general attitude towards girls, or simply, just their lifestyle, how decent they are. And lastly, concerning your last sentence, yes, some of my what-can-i-do-I'm-a-guy sort of friends certainly do tell me who they **** over.
In short, just get over yourself and stop thinking all guys are like you. Or you know what, it doesn't matter if you think this way because it doesn't change reality. The world population is 7 billion my dear. Au revoir.
Alright, I can also assure you that some girls certainly do think 'he's hot, I want him between my legs' - without love being attached. You seem to think that only guys have sexual desires, which is wrong. No, sorry but what you said about some guys lying to me about their attitude towards girls is bull****. To be honest, we don't have that circle of friends who date one another. It's just obvious from their general attitude towards girls, or simply, just their lifestyle, how decent they are. And lastly, concerning your last sentence, yes, some of my what-can-i-do-I'm-a-guy sort of friends certainly do tell me who they **** over.
In short, just get over yourself and stop thinking all guys are like you. Or you know what, it doesn't matter if you think this way because it doesn't change reality. The world population is 7 billion my dear. Au revoir.
You are incredibly, INCREDIBLY naive.
I'm not going to trawl through the inevitable attacks you've had for saying he can't watch porn and try to be a bit nicer about it.
If you said straight away in the relationship that, for whatever reason, you couldn't handle him watching porn and he promised not to, but has anyway, then that's wrong of him. HOWEVER, it's never right to go snooping through other people's private stuff, even if you believe they've done something wrong.
There are some serious trust problems here that you need to discuss with your boyfriend, but I honestly can't see this being a particularly compatible relationship. It may be that you need some single time to work through some of your issues. But if this porn thing is important to you, make aware how serious it is to you and don't let someone laugh it off. It may be that a lot of guys can't handle not watching porn, but don't think it's everybody.
Edit: From reading the last page, anyone who legitimately believes they shave their body hair 'just because they want to' and not because it's the norm, is delusional.
If you said straight away in the relationship that, for whatever reason, you couldn't handle him watching porn and he promised not to, but has anyway, then that's wrong of him. HOWEVER, it's never right to go snooping through other people's private stuff, even if you believe they've done something wrong.
There are some serious trust problems here that you need to discuss with your boyfriend, but I honestly can't see this being a particularly compatible relationship. It may be that you need some single time to work through some of your issues. But if this porn thing is important to you, make aware how serious it is to you and don't let someone laugh it off. It may be that a lot of guys can't handle not watching porn, but don't think it's everybody.
Edit: From reading the last page, anyone who legitimately believes they shave their body hair 'just because they want to' and not because it's the norm, is delusional.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Smurf2.0
At least he wasn't in it! 
Why shouldn't t he watch it?
As long as it isn't taking over his life, and isn't dodgy porn, where's the harm?
Forbidden fruit and all that!
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by GwrxVurfer
I believe the OP has already made it quite clear that watching porn is not "OK" in her relationship. So, the boyfriend promised not to do something which (in the context of their relationship) is not ok, but then possibly went ahead and did it anyway.
I would like to stress that we don't actually know if the boyfriend has gone behind the OP's back on this one. From the technical angle, a site will remember you from your last visit if you don't erase the cookies, even if you have erased the history. So it's possible that he hasn't visited the site since promising not to do so. If he did go behind her back, they obviously need to have a discussion about what he did, but please keep in mind the very real possibility that he is innocent.
I would like to stress that we don't actually know if the boyfriend has gone behind the OP's back on this one. From the technical angle, a site will remember you from your last visit if you don't erase the cookies, even if you have erased the history. So it's possible that he hasn't visited the site since promising not to do so. If he did go behind her back, they obviously need to have a discussion about what he did, but please keep in mind the very real possibility that he is innocent.
What I was trying to say is that in my view, watching porn whilst being in a relationship is "objectively OK". What I mean by that is that nobody can say "it's wrong to me". That is, it's not subjective. Nobody can say "Eating a banana is wrong for me". Well, they could say it, but it would never be true, except in some highly unlikely and absurd circumstance, like where an innocent person would die if you were to eat the banana. In the same way, the OP saying "my bf is committing an immoral act if he watches porn" just isn't true, because it's not morally wrong to watch porn whilst being in a relationship. We could discuss that point for hours, but I think most of us here accept the OP is being a bit of a prude.
Original post by OceanSoul
If your gf doesn't have a problem with it, I don't care. Though tell me honestly how you would feel if your gf was fantasizing about guys other than you? If you wouldn't mind, I've got nothing to tell you. But I still think it's wrong for a guy to imagine other girls while he says he is in love with someone. Sorry. I can't help but think the fact that you watch so much porn has put those fantasies in your head.
Edit: I think it's right to mention here that as I could see porn in your book and in your relationship is perfectly fine, whereas for some others it is not and even for some guys. So you see, it is pretty much subjective. But then again - not every guy is the same. The same goes for girls - not every girl is the same (lovey dovey).
Edit: I think it's right to mention here that as I could see porn in your book and in your relationship is perfectly fine, whereas for some others it is not and even for some guys. So you see, it is pretty much subjective. But then again - not every guy is the same. The same goes for girls - not every girl is the same (lovey dovey).
I know that my gf masterbates too, and I'd be a fool to think it was over me every time.
I can't believe you questioned the maturity of other users on the forum. What about yourself? Reason I ask is because you have extremely idealistic views. You expect everything to be perfect. I accept that in a perfect relationship, there would be no need for the two parties to watch porn, but it's a well known fact that perfect relationships do not exist.
Original post by OceanSoul
of course it's normal to 'look' around - it is normal to find others attractive - but ****, do you want to have sex with every girl you find attractive? That doesn't make you a 'normal man', it makes you a pervert - you just like to view women as sex idols.
Let me tell you what your problem is: You can't separate fantasy from reality.
When I watch porn, I don't actually want to have sex with the girl in the video I am watching. If I did I would wonder whether I was really happy in my relationship.
Original post by OceanSoul
Lol, honey, first of all, I can tell you for sure I'm surrounded by a lot of sorts of different beliefs/views/attitudes. And not the sort of background you come from only. You seem to speak only of what you see and hear from your friends. Second, of course it's normal to 'look' around - it is normal to find others attractive - but ****, do you want to have sex with every girl you find attractive? That doesn't make you a 'normal man', it makes you a pervert - you just like to view women as sex idols. Please honestly answer, have you ever been in love? I doubt you have. When you love someone, you will realise that you have a special sort of 'sexual' attraction towards them. Not just the desire to '****, kick out of the bed, enjoy your fag'. Yes, love and lust do have a connection. But sure, I don't take a guy touching me as a signal of 'emotional attraction' - that's why I don't let any guy touch me Alright, I can also assure you that some girls certainly do think 'he's hot, I want him between my legs' - without love being attached. You seem to think that only guys have sexual desires, which is wrong.
No, sorry but what you said about some guys lying to me about their attitude towards girls is bull****. To be honest, we don't have that circle of friends who date one another. It's just obvious from their general attitude towards girls, or simply, just their lifestyle, how decent they are. And lastly, concerning your last sentence, yes, some of my what-can-i-do-I'm-a-guy sort of friends certainly do tell me who they **** over.
In short, just get over yourself and stop thinking all guys are like you. Or you know what, it doesn't matter if you think this way because it doesn't change reality. The world population is 7 billion my dear. Au revoir.
Alright, I can also assure you that some girls certainly do think 'he's hot, I want him between my legs' - without love being attached. You seem to think that only guys have sexual desires, which is wrong. No, sorry but what you said about some guys lying to me about their attitude towards girls is bull****. To be honest, we don't have that circle of friends who date one another. It's just obvious from their general attitude towards girls, or simply, just their lifestyle, how decent they are. And lastly, concerning your last sentence, yes, some of my what-can-i-do-I'm-a-guy sort of friends certainly do tell me who they **** over.
In short, just get over yourself and stop thinking all guys are like you. Or you know what, it doesn't matter if you think this way because it doesn't change reality. The world population is 7 billion my dear. Au revoir.
seeing as our discussion is going nowhere productive. I'll change course slightly.
Have you ever dated? Are you a virgin?
to answer your question, yes I have been in love but seeing as that word is subjective I am sure you will be quick to say "it wasn't real love"
Original post by MaryKay
Why shouldn't t he watch it?
As long as it isn't taking over his life, and isn't dodgy porn, where's the harm?
Forbidden fruit and all that!
As long as it isn't taking over his life, and isn't dodgy porn, where's the harm?
Forbidden fruit and all that!
I meant wasn't in the video.
I find it so funny how the first post has 61 DISLIKES and 3 LIKES. And the 2nd post has 61 LIKES and 3 DISLIKES!
Why are so many girls so annoyed about this?
I get that some are insecure and must think 'he looks at other woman he doesnt find me as attractive' but thats rarely ever the case
If I found out, id be more annoyed he didnt ask me to join him
I get that some are insecure and must think 'he looks at other woman he doesnt find me as attractive' but thats rarely ever the case
If I found out, id be more annoyed he didnt ask me to join him
Original post by Pyrrho
I know that my gf masterbates too, and I'd be a fool to think it was over me every time.
I can't believe you questioned the maturity of other users on the forum. What about yourself? Reason I ask is because you have extremely idealistic views. You expect everything to be perfect. I accept that in a perfect relationship, there would be no need for the two parties to watch porn, but it's a well known fact that perfect relationships do not exist.
I can't believe you questioned the maturity of other users on the forum. What about yourself? Reason I ask is because you have extremely idealistic views. You expect everything to be perfect. I accept that in a perfect relationship, there would be no need for the two parties to watch porn, but it's a well known fact that perfect relationships do not exist.
You and your gf are both fine with it then. It's a different case when one has a problem with it though, and I do believe the other partner should be respectful and understanding. Well, what I meant by maturity was about relationships - most of my relationships were long term. Of course a perfect relationship doesn't exist - to be honest I never faced a major issue concerning pornography or 'other girls'. I never needed to tell a partner not to watch porn. My last boyfriend told me himself he stopped watching it although I never mentioned anything to him. At some point I did have a problem with my last relationship for a short time concerning girls in general, he was giving me a complex - but he proved to me that he was willing to change and he did change. He had the choice to tell me he's done with me and walk away if he thought I had no right to have a say. And he didn't stay with me for 'benefits'. Anyway, again - it's a subjective matter and I don't believe in 'it's in your biology.' It's all in your head.
(edited 13 years ago)
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