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Virginity means a lot more to women and is carries more emotions than it does for men.
Yes.
"traditionally" it means penis penetrating a vagina, for women, it usually means the breaking of a hymen. Problem with this is, there isn't always a hymen to break. It could already be "broken" by tampons, excercise or masturbation, and some women don't have one. The hymen shouldn't break anyway... it stretches and might tear slightly.
Also, sex isn't as straightforward as penis in vagina. There are so many different things that can be done sexually that I would still count as sex. Take a woman as exclusively lesbian for example, lesbian sex does not involve a penis (unless it is a fake one :P) and the activities involved are considered "foreplay" when used in a heterosexual relationship... but its still sex.
I'd say virginity is a social construct based around our hang ups about sex and "purity" (ideas which come from judao-christian religion) If there weren't the hang ups then it wouldn't be as important to us.
I'd also consider virginity to be a personal concept. You have lost your virginity when you feel you have lost your virginity. If you are a lesbian whose first is a woman, and you consider yourself not a virgin, thats fine. If for example, penetration has been attempted too painful to continue, or you have been raped, and you would rather not consider that as losing your virginity, this should also be acceptable.
"traditionally" it means penis penetrating a vagina, for women, it usually means the breaking of a hymen. Problem with this is, there isn't always a hymen to break. It could already be "broken" by tampons, excercise or masturbation, and some women don't have one. The hymen shouldn't break anyway... it stretches and might tear slightly.
Also, sex isn't as straightforward as penis in vagina. There are so many different things that can be done sexually that I would still count as sex. Take a woman as exclusively lesbian for example, lesbian sex does not involve a penis (unless it is a fake one :P) and the activities involved are considered "foreplay" when used in a heterosexual relationship... but its still sex.
I'd say virginity is a social construct based around our hang ups about sex and "purity" (ideas which come from judao-christian religion) If there weren't the hang ups then it wouldn't be as important to us.
I'd also consider virginity to be a personal concept. You have lost your virginity when you feel you have lost your virginity. If you are a lesbian whose first is a woman, and you consider yourself not a virgin, thats fine. If for example, penetration has been attempted too painful to continue, or you have been raped, and you would rather not consider that as losing your virginity, this should also be acceptable.
Interesting - I was having this discussion with my flatmate today.
Virginity is whatever you want it to be - I would class a blowjob on its own as sex... and a bit of hand fun as sex. A penis doesn't have to go into a vagina for it to be sex IMO. What about gay girls who've never been with a guy? Virgins? Don't think so!
Virginity is whatever you want it to be - I would class a blowjob on its own as sex... and a bit of hand fun as sex. A penis doesn't have to go into a vagina for it to be sex IMO. What about gay girls who've never been with a guy? Virgins? Don't think so!
Yes, of course it's a social construct and it privileges one particular bit of sexual behaviour.
In reality, everyone starts off with many, many virginities - because there are many, many things that are part of human sexual behaviour they could possibly do - and few people lose even most of them*.
* For example, I'm still waiting for the right sheep to come along for one of them. Ewe...
In reality, everyone starts off with many, many virginities - because there are many, many things that are part of human sexual behaviour they could possibly do - and few people lose even most of them*.
* For example, I'm still waiting for the right sheep to come along for one of them. Ewe...
I believe our attitudes towards virginity are socially constructed.
But what do you guys think?
But what do you guys think?
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by deedee123
Yes it is, if you're looking for a lifestyle of casual sex. If not then i can't imagine why it would be.
Do you know what a social construct is?
Yes, virginity isn't inherently a big deal, but we make it out to be by putting a lot of value on it and giving people the expectation that it should be 'special'. This, I suspect, only serves to make people regretful, when really it should be the experiences themselves that should be thought of as special, not the order they happened in.
No, its objective reality. Its a term we use to distinguish between those who have and havn't had sex.
There's absolutely nothing more to it than that, not unless you're a university social sciences lecturer with a need to justify your inflated pay packet by analysing everything to the Nth degree.
There's absolutely nothing more to it than that, not unless you're a university social sciences lecturer with a need to justify your inflated pay packet by analysing everything to the Nth degree.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by StephenHeads
Virginity means a lot more to women and is carries more emotions than it does for men.
I beg to differ - being a virgin for guys is one of the biggest social pressures for young men and with it carries a great degree of stress and pressure.
Original post by Kiss
I beg to differ - being a virgin for guys is one of the biggest social pressures for young men and with it carries a great degree of stress and pressure.
Its a biological pressure as much as a social pressure for men. I remember someone I used to work with telling me in his teens he felt like he might die if he didn't get laid lol
Original post by Kiss
I beg to differ - being a virgin for guys is one of the biggest social pressures for young men and with it carries a great degree of stress and pressure.
Which is why men or less picky than women. Women tend to choose the right person to lose it to
Virginity often gets used in contexts relating to people's first times in various different actions or experiences, although often as a noun phrase like 'gaming virginity' etc.
virginity is a state of pre-sexual experience so no, not really a social construct since it relates quite intimately (lol) with a physical activity.
People who have had sex and those who haven't.
However societies have interesting relationships with it obviously.
People who have had sex and those who haven't.
However societies have interesting relationships with it obviously.
Original post by bananaslug77
Interesting - I was having this discussion with my flatmate today.
Virginity is whatever you want it to be - I would class a blowjob on its own as sex... and a bit of hand fun as sex. A penis doesn't have to go into a vagina for it to be sex IMO. What about gay girls who've never been with a guy? Virgins? Don't think so!
Virginity is whatever you want it to be - I would class a blowjob on its own as sex... and a bit of hand fun as sex. A penis doesn't have to go into a vagina for it to be sex IMO. What about gay girls who've never been with a guy? Virgins? Don't think so!
No it isn't. If we accept it to be a social construct then we also have to accept that the general consensus of society on what is and is not virginity is the definition of it.
Just because the definition is different for different 'groups' of people it does not mean that it is any less dictated by society.
Original post by limetang
No it isn't. If we accept it to be a social construct then we also have to accept that the general consensus of society on what is and is not virginity is the definition of it.
Just because the definition is different for different 'groups' of people it does not mean that it is any less dictated by society.
Just because the definition is different for different 'groups' of people it does not mean that it is any less dictated by society.
So if society defines sex as penis in vagina then all the gay people who've never had heterosexual relations are virgins, then? ...
Original post by bananaslug77
So if society defines sex as penis in vagina then all the gay people who've never had heterosexual relations are virgins, then? ...
No. Society can have more than one definition of what counts as sex, and therefore what counts as virginity. The multiple definitions do not have to be mutually exclusive.
E.g. What 'counts' as sex between gay couples is still there as a social construct.
(edited 11 years ago)
Yes, it is. Because we've made sex to be something very important that involves a long list of social rules and regulations, first time sex is made out to be a big, life changing event that we split people who have and haven't done it into two separate categories - virgin and non-virgin. There is so many different things that we do that are important in life, but we don't feel the need to have separate categories for all of them. We don't even have a word for people who have been in love and people who haven't been in love, which is arguably more important. The concept of virginity itself makes it so much more difficult for people either to enjoy sex just for sex when they want to, or accept that it's just one of the many things they haven't done yet and there's no point worrying about it.
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