Homosexual Parenting
Was reading the whole French legalisation of homosexual marriage and its subsequent rights such as adoption, and just popped into my head.
There's obviously been tons of threads about the rights of homosexuals to adopt, and everyone's got a fair point for both sides of the argument. Being a fan of evidence based arguments, I'm just gonna wait for proper research to be done before commenting on that or taking a side.
What I do want to ask you guys, especially those who said in favour of homosexuals' rights to adoption that it's better for a child to be with a good homosexual couple than a horrible heterosexual couple, is the issue of surrogate pregnancy/adoption.
I know it's not legal in the UK (for a paid one), but in general opinion, what do you think? And before another person points it out to me, I know you can have a donor based surrogacy for heterosexuals but I'm referring more to gestational surrogacy.
Should homosexual people be permitted to have surrogate children? Should it be no different to adoption, or should it be different? I'm just mainly asking this to the people who stated, as said before, that homosexual parents are better than none/bad parents for adoption.
I don't have any personal opinion, as I can see points either way for adoption and surrogacy and they both sound fairly reasonable, but I just wanted to know what people thought.
EDIT (Month update I suppose): Sigh... I'm afraid this thread turned to one about adoption, which was not something I wished for. I was wondering an extreme (or not so extreme perhaps) case of gestational surrogacy to have children - i.e. making "new" children, not adopting abandoned orphans, as I had seen (and as many have posted below) that it'd be better for a child to have a homosexual parent than none. But surrogacy is creating a new child, not adopting one, and I thought that would be interesting. Unfortunately, this thread became very long, and the concept I suggested was lost in the process. Hopefully any future posters seeing this could try and answer for surrogacy, rather than adoption? There are other threads which exist for plain homosexual adoption.
There's obviously been tons of threads about the rights of homosexuals to adopt, and everyone's got a fair point for both sides of the argument. Being a fan of evidence based arguments, I'm just gonna wait for proper research to be done before commenting on that or taking a side.
What I do want to ask you guys, especially those who said in favour of homosexuals' rights to adoption that it's better for a child to be with a good homosexual couple than a horrible heterosexual couple, is the issue of surrogate pregnancy/adoption.
I know it's not legal in the UK (for a paid one), but in general opinion, what do you think? And before another person points it out to me, I know you can have a donor based surrogacy for heterosexuals but I'm referring more to gestational surrogacy.
Should homosexual people be permitted to have surrogate children? Should it be no different to adoption, or should it be different? I'm just mainly asking this to the people who stated, as said before, that homosexual parents are better than none/bad parents for adoption.
I don't have any personal opinion, as I can see points either way for adoption and surrogacy and they both sound fairly reasonable, but I just wanted to know what people thought.
EDIT (Month update I suppose): Sigh... I'm afraid this thread turned to one about adoption, which was not something I wished for. I was wondering an extreme (or not so extreme perhaps) case of gestational surrogacy to have children - i.e. making "new" children, not adopting abandoned orphans, as I had seen (and as many have posted below) that it'd be better for a child to have a homosexual parent than none. But surrogacy is creating a new child, not adopting one, and I thought that would be interesting. Unfortunately, this thread became very long, and the concept I suggested was lost in the process. Hopefully any future posters seeing this could try and answer for surrogacy, rather than adoption? There are other threads which exist for plain homosexual adoption.
(edited 10 years ago)
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There are definitely some homosexual couples that could parent a child better then a heterosexual couple.....be interesting to see if there are any changes as a result of this....
Original post by hslakaal
I know it's not legal in the UK, but in general opinion, should that be allowed for homosexual couples who fully know that their child will only be half of the couple's versus say a heterosexual couple's whereby the child may genetically be fully theirs? And, as said before, throws the whole adoption rights because it's better for the child argument out the window as well.
I know it's not legal in the UK, but in general opinion, should that be allowed for homosexual couples who fully know that their child will only be half of the couple's versus say a heterosexual couple's whereby the child may genetically be fully theirs? And, as said before, throws the whole adoption rights because it's better for the child argument out the window as well.
I come from a country where surrogacy is legal, and there are often instances where a heterosexual couple have a surrogate child that is only "half" theirs too. So I'm not sure what your point is?
Perhaps I should add that homosexual marriage and adoption rights have been established for a while in my country as well. I only know one homosexual married couple that has adopted kids - twins actually - and they are happy, well-adjusted kids.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by sj27
I come from a country where surrogacy is legal, and there are often instances where a heterosexual couple have a surrogate child that is only "half" theirs too. So I'm not sure what your point is?
Perhaps I should add that homosexual marriage and adoption rights have been established for a while in my country as well. I only know one homosexual married couple that has adopted kids - twins actually - and they are happy, well-adjusted kids.
Perhaps I should add that homosexual marriage and adoption rights have been established for a while in my country as well. I only know one homosexual married couple that has adopted kids - twins actually - and they are happy, well-adjusted kids.
I gave the extremes. I'm fully aware of how surrogacy works.
Not asking about adoption.
I'm just curious as to your opinion on homosexual surrogacy. I don't have a set opinion. I'm just merely curious.
Is it not the quilvalent of having a step parent? So long as they are capable parents, I don't see the problem.
Original post by hslakaal
I gave the extremes. I'm fully aware of how surrogacy works.
Not asking about adoption.
I'm just curious as to your opinion on homosexual surrogacy. I don't have a set opinion. I'm just merely curious.
Not asking about adoption.
I'm just curious as to your opinion on homosexual surrogacy. I don't have a set opinion. I'm just merely curious.
I don't have a problem with it. I think if someone wants a child badly enough to go through that process, they are likely to be good parents.
I believe every child should have a mother and father if possible. Human beings come from biologically opposite parents , and i feel that should be respected.
If you don't, then you can have your opinion. I would not be happy with two fathers, or two mothers. My very human essence comes from the meeting between biological opposites. Having parents - even if i am not related to them- who are biological opposites gives me a sense of identity. If i had two fathers, i would lose a sense of that i think.
And not that i agree with it, but i would be bullied, picked on and so on and so forth, which would definitely stunt my development.
edit: Any couple - straight or gay- who adopt clearly want a child. So comparing biological parents who have children and live in a dysfunctional home is not a fair comparison. If you want to compare gay-raised children and straight-raised children, compare straight and gay couples who have both adopted.
I do not doubt the quality of raising a child, i merely question something deeper, the symbolic, and the societal.
If you don't, then you can have your opinion. I would not be happy with two fathers, or two mothers. My very human essence comes from the meeting between biological opposites. Having parents - even if i am not related to them- who are biological opposites gives me a sense of identity. If i had two fathers, i would lose a sense of that i think.
And not that i agree with it, but i would be bullied, picked on and so on and so forth, which would definitely stunt my development.
edit: Any couple - straight or gay- who adopt clearly want a child. So comparing biological parents who have children and live in a dysfunctional home is not a fair comparison. If you want to compare gay-raised children and straight-raised children, compare straight and gay couples who have both adopted.
I do not doubt the quality of raising a child, i merely question something deeper, the symbolic, and the societal.
(edited 10 years ago)
Homosexual parenting? I say that's very cruel on the child being brought up. I support gay marriage but not adoption.
I looked after twins who had 2 'mums'. Obviously, I only one was the 'real' mum but they were fine. Last I heard from them, they were trying for another baby, with the other mum being the carrier. I think it would have been the same biological father. They were in contact with him. They were a lovely family and I miss them since they moved away!
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Original post by Guru Jason
Is it not the quilvalent of having a step parent? So long as they are capable parents, I don't see the problem.
With step parents, the step parent may not be as emotionally attached. But with homosexual parents where only one is the true parent...the one that is not may be equally as attached and there might be an identity issue.
Original post by H_Aple
Homosexual parenting? I say that's very cruel on the child being brought up. I support gay marriage but not adoption.
There have been studies that show same-sex couples can raise children as well as heterosexual couples can. So why would it be cruel on the child?
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Original post by MENDACIUM
With step parents, the step parent may not be as emotionally attached. But with homosexual parents where only one is the true parent...the one that is not may be equally as attached and there might be an identity issue.
The logical consequence of your arguments is that people shouldn't be single parents either, even if they are heterosexual.
(Edit to clarify: this conclusion flows from this person's first post rather than the one I quoted)
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by sj27
The logical consequence of your arguments is that people shouldn't be single parents either, even if they are heterosexual.
(Edit to clarify: this conclusion flows from this person's first post rather than the one I quoted)
(Edit to clarify: this conclusion flows from this person's first post rather than the one I quoted)
I see what you mean, but there is a subtle difference. Two fathers who are sexually active can confuse a child on their identity, in the biological and symbolic sense. One mother may be less advantageous than a mum and a dad - i agree, but it won't confuse them of their identity as much(having two dads is far more confusing). No-one gets bullied for having a single parent. People get bullied to a very high extent for having two dads.
(edited 11 years ago)
I support homosexual marriage and parenting, especially knowing how messed up "traditional parents" can be nowadays. I'm not saying every heterosexual couple will mess up; anyone can mess up really. Biology/genetic can only go so far when it comes to parenting. Its not a matter of the gender of the parents; its how they treat the children and the effort they put into a child's development.
Surrogate pregnancy is not an issue to me. I find it similar to adopting. If everyone's happy then so be it.
As for child development in society, anti-bullying and anti-taunting should be enforced; because anyone, both children from homosexual parents and heterosexual parents, can become victims of bullying.
I live in a Muslim country that bans homosexuality and I have to say, its awfully unfair. Quite a number of people I know who are homosexual have had to leave the country just to feel secure of their orientation and their future plans on settling down.
Surrogate pregnancy is not an issue to me. I find it similar to adopting. If everyone's happy then so be it.
As for child development in society, anti-bullying and anti-taunting should be enforced; because anyone, both children from homosexual parents and heterosexual parents, can become victims of bullying.
I live in a Muslim country that bans homosexuality and I have to say, its awfully unfair. Quite a number of people I know who are homosexual have had to leave the country just to feel secure of their orientation and their future plans on settling down.
I knew a guy who had two "mums" pretty much his whole life- his dad had lost contact while he was in primary school. He was totally normal, and I knew him for about 2 months before I found out about his mums and though it surprised me because I've never known anyone else with gay parents, it made me a pretty firm supporter of gay surrogacy.
Having said that, this wasn't a case of gay surrogacy because his biological mum was a bisexual, although he didn't really know his dad, which I think might be similar to children of surrogate parents.
Ultimately I think gay couples should be allowed to adopt, and encouraged to do so. Why go to such lengths to bring more kids into the world when there are so many out there already needing parents?
I just don't get the whole one-mum-one-dad debate when there are so many single parent families in this country, and when there are so many kids in care homes. Surely it's better to have loving parents (never mind gender) than none at all?
Having said that, this wasn't a case of gay surrogacy because his biological mum was a bisexual, although he didn't really know his dad, which I think might be similar to children of surrogate parents.
Ultimately I think gay couples should be allowed to adopt, and encouraged to do so. Why go to such lengths to bring more kids into the world when there are so many out there already needing parents?
I just don't get the whole one-mum-one-dad debate when there are so many single parent families in this country, and when there are so many kids in care homes. Surely it's better to have loving parents (never mind gender) than none at all?
Just wait till they start high school...
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Original post by MENDACIUM
I see what you mean, but there is a subtle difference. Two fathers who are sexually active can confuse a child on their identity, in the biological and symbolic sense. One mother may be less advantageous than a mum and a dad - i agree, but it won't confuse them of their identity as much(having two dads is far more confusing). No-one gets bullied for having a single parent. People get bullied to a very high extent for having two dads.
I'd like to know where you get your evidence from. As I said I know a couple of kids with two dads, and no-one bullies them. And they don't seem "confused" at all - they know they are different from their classmates, but to them the "difference" is no more or less than, say, the difference between kids with different skin colour.
And in any case any young kid is unaware (or should be) of sexual activity between their parents, irrespective of gender.
Also, a single parent unless they are very wealthy and don't need to work will have a time issue with kids, especially younger ones. The kids will therefore be farmed out to grannies, au pairs etc for at least part of the time, or in sad but true cases just get neglected and left alone for long stretches of time. I don't see how this is better than having two dedicated parents.
I just don't like the idea of surrogacy when there are so many children out there waiting to be adopted and feeling unwanted 
I'm fully aware of the reasons why people choose to have a surrogate pregnancy but it just doesn't sit right with me (regardless of whether it's a homosexual or heterosexual couple).
I'm fully aware of the reasons why people choose to have a surrogate pregnancy but it just doesn't sit right with me (regardless of whether it's a homosexual or heterosexual couple).Original post by ashleighgiles
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As for child development in society, anti-bullying and anti-taunting should be enforced; because anyone, both children from homosexual parents and heterosexual parents, can become victims of bullying.
As for child development in society, anti-bullying and anti-taunting should be enforced; because anyone, both children from homosexual parents and heterosexual parents, can become victims of bullying.
This is a good point. The kind of child that bullies someone for having gay parents is likely to bully other children for other things too... The problem being more with that child than the target of the bullying, in other words.
Original post by H_Aple
Homosexual parenting? I say that's very cruel on the child being brought up. I support gay marriage but not adoption.
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