Why is there so much negativity about commuting to university?
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Original post by JulietheCat
Thanks but if contributing to halls meant bothering me every single night with loud music, I'm glad I'm no longer a part of halls tbh.
I go halfway - I commute to uni by train but I live in a shared flat with five other people. Best of both worlds - I'm independent, I'm near my parents just in case they need me and someone always cooks for us (so none of that "Yo bruv, I'm living on pot noodles for all my uni life! YOLO!").
Actually, in my old uni, my classmates increasingly tried halls but moved out within months. That wouldn't be the case if halls was the be all and end all, right?
I go halfway - I commute to uni by train but I live in a shared flat with five other people. Best of both worlds - I'm independent, I'm near my parents just in case they need me and someone always cooks for us (so none of that "Yo bruv, I'm living on pot noodles for all my uni life! YOLO!").
Actually, in my old uni, my classmates increasingly tried halls but moved out within months. That wouldn't be the case if halls was the be all and end all, right?
Wow facetious much? He never said contributing to halls, he said contributing to the academic institution. Your use of YOLO made me feel a little bit sick.
Original post by Old_Simon
Exactly. And in that process learning who you really are and what you are capable of. In short establishing your own identity.
100%. You really don't get that experience when you live at home.
Even the 'struggle' of money, dragging my shopping up however many flights of stairs on my own, eating **** food and freezing in a **** flat was worth it. It's character building and it's a unique experience that I otherwise would not have had. Living at home limits you SO much...chances are, you're probably an hour plus away from campus which limits you from staying later for study groups, activities in societies, campus activities etc. It just sucks balls.
Original post by Old_Simon
I wasn't necessarily referring to living in halls specifically. Living at home with mum and dad is obviously not the same as sharing a flat.
Well, yeah, but I'm still a commuter. It still takes us about an hour to get to uni and the difference in journey times is very minimal compared to my parents' home.
And actually two of my flatmates are people who I know from school who go to the same uni as me. So, aside from the three other people I house share with, I didn't actually get to make friends.
Original post by penelopecat
Wow facetious much? He never said contributing to halls, he said contributing to the academic institution. Your use of YOLO made me feel a little bit sick.
Trust me, I didn't contribute to anything and neither did the party animals who ravaged the halls like they live in a jungle or something. The party animals are still there, making their noise and I'm sticking rigidly to my house mates
Original post by JulietheCat
Well, yeah, but I'm still a commuter. It still takes us about an hour to get to uni and the difference in journey times is very minimal compared to my parents' home.
And actually two of my flatmates are people who I know from school who go to the same uni as me. So, aside from the three other people I house share with, I didn't actually get to make friends.
And actually two of my flatmates are people who I know from school who go to the same uni as me. So, aside from the three other people I house share with, I didn't actually get to make friends.
So you managed to get through uni completely oblivious to everybody around you and emerged with no friends or life contacts? You obviously had a bf of course though I bet.
Original post by xDave-
The most popular girl I knew commuted. That said, the least popular guy I knew commuted (me).
Whaaat?! There are 'popular' people in university?! :s
Original post by Old_Simon
So you managed to get through uni completely oblivious to everybody around you and emerged with no friends or life contacts? You obviously had a bf of course though I bet.
Well, it's not that. My definition of "friend" is someone who's there for you and who will help you within reason. Anyone else, who I socialise with and have fun with, is an acquaintance. So, I have many acquiantances who I sometimes hang out with but my friends (my true friends) and boyfriend are my housemates.
I also have connections to some of my professors who would give me a good reference in the end.
People who deny themselves a move away from home because they are 'going to learn, not to party/drink' are self-defeatist in nature. They haven't backed their willpower and ability to maintain work/life balance away from Mummy and Daddy's guidance. They've foregone independence in order to maintain a security blanket and thus will fail to develop as people in the same way that people who move away do.
This does not apply to anyone who stays at home for a different reason of course.
This does not apply to anyone who stays at home for a different reason of course.
There are so many factors that are involved here, it's impossible to say that everyone will have a positive experience of commuting. Conversely, it wouldn't be valid to say that everyone will have a negative experience. And it's not just your social life that's affected, it may also have an impact on how much time you have for work/studying and it may affect your concentration, energy levels etc. There's no right or wrong answer to the question, "Is commuting good or bad?" It will depend on lots of different things, let me name a few:
- Commuting by public transport (bus and/or train) versus having your own car...there's a huge difference there.
- Distance to university. Is it 10 miles away? Twenty miles? Or even 30 miles? Travelling 15 to 30 miles by car outside of rush hour isn't such a big hassle...but travelling that same distance using public transport during busy times...you'll spend a few hours each day travelling alone. Ask yourself, can you keep that up for 5 days a week for entire semesters? After a week of having to commute 20 something miles, I gave up and decided to look for nearby accommodation, problem solved.
- Can you cycle? Or perhaps a more appropriate question to ask would be whether you're prepared to cycle? Some people don't mind cycling 10, even 20 miles each day, it's a pretty good way to commute. But you have to consider that it requires a decent level of fitness, needs lots of caution and awareness, and you'll have to cycle in cold, wet weather...etc.
- How many days will you spend at uni per week? Some people are part time, others full time...
In the simplest terms, you have to decide whether you'd be able to commute to and from uni every day while still being able to have enough time to study and work, eat, sleep, and do whatever else you need to do. If you can achieve a good balance and feel comfortable doing so, then clearly it's fine for you to commute.
- Commuting by public transport (bus and/or train) versus having your own car...there's a huge difference there.
- Distance to university. Is it 10 miles away? Twenty miles? Or even 30 miles? Travelling 15 to 30 miles by car outside of rush hour isn't such a big hassle...but travelling that same distance using public transport during busy times...you'll spend a few hours each day travelling alone. Ask yourself, can you keep that up for 5 days a week for entire semesters? After a week of having to commute 20 something miles, I gave up and decided to look for nearby accommodation, problem solved.
- Can you cycle? Or perhaps a more appropriate question to ask would be whether you're prepared to cycle? Some people don't mind cycling 10, even 20 miles each day, it's a pretty good way to commute. But you have to consider that it requires a decent level of fitness, needs lots of caution and awareness, and you'll have to cycle in cold, wet weather...etc.
- How many days will you spend at uni per week? Some people are part time, others full time...
In the simplest terms, you have to decide whether you'd be able to commute to and from uni every day while still being able to have enough time to study and work, eat, sleep, and do whatever else you need to do. If you can achieve a good balance and feel comfortable doing so, then clearly it's fine for you to commute.
I've got much better at looking after myself since moving out for uni; I cook healthy meals for myself, I'm a lot more organised and better at timekeeping, and I'm a lot more disciplined when it comes to time spent studying when I'm at uni & I can easily get to the library to study if I'm finding it hard to work in my room (I find it a lot harder to get down to work when I come home in the holidays). A lot of people learn (and some quicker than others, a very small proportion never do) that if they don't do things for themselves then nobody will do it for them when they move out for uni and I think the independence you gain is worth spending the money on accommodation for. I pretty much never go out drinking or clubbing and it was never a reason for me wanting to go away from home for uni anyway. I feel like I've gained valuable life experience that I never would have if I'd stayed near home and like I'm better prepared for when I do move out for good and have to balance a full time job with everything else.
That's not to say that everyone who commutes has their parents doing everything for them, because I'm aware that many don't and it's an unfair stereotype. But a lot of people who commute who live with their parents know that they're getting food made for them nearly every night (and they haven't had to go shopping for it), and they're getting most of their laundry done for them, and they don't have to sort out paying bills and whatnot...it's not so much learning to do these things for yourself that's the important experience, because they're all pretty easy, but rather learning to fit doing them into a busy schedule & manage your time well. I actually find now that when I go home, while it's nice to have things done for me for a while, I sometimes get annoyed because I'm used to doing everything for myself and I have to follow my parents' routine rather than my own.
Just thought I'd point out that there are many benefits to living away from home that aren't related to your social life. Again, if you want to commute and you think it's the right thing for you, that's your choice and that's fair enough, but please don't get the idea that anyone who does move away from home is doing it so they can spend their time at uni partying, or that they're going to live off pot noodles for the whole of their time there.
That's not to say that everyone who commutes has their parents doing everything for them, because I'm aware that many don't and it's an unfair stereotype. But a lot of people who commute who live with their parents know that they're getting food made for them nearly every night (and they haven't had to go shopping for it), and they're getting most of their laundry done for them, and they don't have to sort out paying bills and whatnot...it's not so much learning to do these things for yourself that's the important experience, because they're all pretty easy, but rather learning to fit doing them into a busy schedule & manage your time well. I actually find now that when I go home, while it's nice to have things done for me for a while, I sometimes get annoyed because I'm used to doing everything for myself and I have to follow my parents' routine rather than my own.
Just thought I'd point out that there are many benefits to living away from home that aren't related to your social life. Again, if you want to commute and you think it's the right thing for you, that's your choice and that's fair enough, but please don't get the idea that anyone who does move away from home is doing it so they can spend their time at uni partying, or that they're going to live off pot noodles for the whole of their time there.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Old_Simon
These types of post sadden me. The choices are not only about "doing the course" or drinking. The big choices are around establishing your independence, participating in a community by living among your fellows and contributing something to that academic institution. No one says you can not commute but it simply misses half the point of university. You may as well sit in your bedroom doing the Open Uni, save some money and work part time. But that is not the point is it ?
As far as I know, I'm getting my dental degree to earn 6 figures, not going to uni to socialise..
I personally couldn't commute. I hate public transport, it's always packed and it's very expensive where I live. I liked being able to walk across the hall and see my friends and I don't see how you can go out unless you stay at somebody else's. It depends what your priorities are but the only benefit I see is cost.
Original post by iAre Teh Lejend
As far as I know, I'm getting my dental degree to earn 6 figures, not going to uni to socialise..
You obviously didn't read my post.
Original post by iAre Teh Lejend
As far as I know, I'm getting my dental degree to earn 6 figures, not going to uni to socialise..
Firstly, good luck earning 6 figures. Secondly, he never said socialise...he said contribute to the institution.
Original post by Old_Simon
These types of post sadden me. The choices are not only about "doing the course" or drinking. The big choices are around establishing your independence, participating in a community by living among your fellows and contributing something to that academic institution. No one says you can not commute but it simply misses half the point of university. You may as well sit in your bedroom doing the Open Uni, save some money and work part time. But that is not the point is it ?
So if you commute you don't 'contribute to an academic institution?'
I'll tell you why OP, because a lot of people do things because it's the 'done thing'. A lot of countries don't have that mindset where you must live away for uni. I'm pretty sure Scotland and the Scandinavian counties don't have that mindset. I think a lot of people move out simply because everyone else is, and so if they don't move out, they feel they are missing out.
Conformism really.
I can tell you one thing OP, I commute, and have been just as happy as my friends who live away. Basically unless you are very sociable and like to have loads of friends to go clubbing with large groups of people, you aren't going to miss out. Only a minority of my uni friends actually became friends with their hall mates, for most of them after the initial freshers fuss died down, they just drifted apart. It's not very likely you'll end up close friends with your hallmates. Unless you're that kind of person who gets on and can be friends with everyone.
Original post by TolerantBeing
So if you commute you don't 'contribute to an academic institution?'
I'll tell you why OP, because a lot of people do things because it's the 'done thing'. A lot of countries don't have that mindset where you must live away for uni. I'm pretty sure Scotland and the Scandinavian counties don't have that mindset. I think a lot of people move out simply because everyone else is, and so if they don't move out, they feel they are missing out.
Conformism really.
I can tell you one thing OP, I commute, and have been just as happy as my friends who live away. Basically unless you are very sociable and like to have loads of friends to go clubbing with large groups of people, you aren't going to miss out. Only a minority of my uni friends actually became friends with their hall mates, for most of them after the initial freshers fuss died down, they just drifted apart. It's not very likely you'll end up close friends with your hallmates. Unless you're that kind of person who gets on and can be friends with everyone.
I'll tell you why OP, because a lot of people do things because it's the 'done thing'. A lot of countries don't have that mindset where you must live away for uni. I'm pretty sure Scotland and the Scandinavian counties don't have that mindset. I think a lot of people move out simply because everyone else is, and so if they don't move out, they feel they are missing out.
Conformism really.
I can tell you one thing OP, I commute, and have been just as happy as my friends who live away. Basically unless you are very sociable and like to have loads of friends to go clubbing with large groups of people, you aren't going to miss out. Only a minority of my uni friends actually became friends with their hall mates, for most of them after the initial freshers fuss died down, they just drifted apart. It's not very likely you'll end up close friends with your hallmates. Unless you're that kind of person who gets on and can be friends with everyone.
Yet again you are repositioning this dialogue in terms of not "going clubbing". You do not seem to have any type of imagination of anything beyond your own obviously limited experience.
Original post by Psyc_Girl
I'll be commuting to university and reading the posts on here about commuting is making me worried.. Surely commuting can't be that bad? If you make an effort, I don't see why your social life would be different to anyone else's?
Try it then you'll know, coming home late from uni as your working on your assingment, having deadlines and setting off from home an hour and half before your lecutre as it takes time getting from home to the bus/train station then taking the bus there. Leaving uni early to get the bus which means you miss out on some socialisation whilst everyone else goes home to their halls and has a good time and your on the bus listenting to your music. The worst is being stressed out over work then commuting this is horrible as you just want to come home and sleep but your on the bus and its like forever. I wouldnt recomend it. But it depends on the time spent commuting for some it can be little as 20 mins others up to 2 hours.
Original post by Old_Simon
Yet again you are repositioning this dialogue in terms of not "going clubbing". You do not seem to have any type of imagination of anything beyond your own obviously limited experience.
But in my uni, the only ECs you miss out on if you commute (parents home or shared flat - it's still commuting) are the indie party nights because they end at 3am. And even then, taking a night bus from east London to north London or asking an acquiantance from next door to drive us back home is no problem.
I had no problem and neither did my house mates, in participating in uni life because the socials usually ended maximum at 9-10pm.
Original post by Psyc_Girl
I'll be commuting to university and reading the posts on here about commuting is making me worried.. Surely commuting can't be that bad? If you make an effort, I don't see why your social life would be different to anyone else's?
Its just that 90% of people make friends with their housemates. If you commute, you will have no housemates. So who are you going to be friends with?
Plus you learn far more from the experience of moving away from home, taking responsibility for looking after yourself, and living with completely different people from all over the country (all over the world even) than you ever do from your course. You're not going to go through that learning experience with everyone else.
I joined the cheerleading squad and practice didn't finish until 11 some nights. Those who commuted either had to leave early, or had to risk getting the last bus. That's not very nice during winter. It's not just parties you'll miss out on (I don't care for those), it's the general way of university life.
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