Confusing situation

tldr; so here is summary...

I'm attracted to girl in my flat, I've completely blocked and hidden all my emotions towards her with the belief that nothing would come out it... though she did catch my eyes couple of times but that was at the beginning and I've managed to not allow it happen for long time (we're in this flat for like 2 months now).

She does have some giveaways that I would normally interpret as she does have some interest in me. trust me, she's very boyish around other flatmates but when in front of me she completely changes.

and thats it.

so basically, I like her but I'm not ever going to do anything because I don't want to get hurt and I don't want it to get awkward. She is sending some mixed up signals that with any other person they are very easy to interpret however with her I find it difficult... probably because my heart being biased.

I feel i have like two options:
1. ignore the whole situation... but I worry because if i'm writing a thread about it now that means there is something in me developing... that is not good to leave undealt with.

2. remove her interest in me, by acting like a jerk (just like most of those in the flat who is she actually spending more 'quality fun time' with) and then she'd probably if not stop her confusing signals at least act the way she usually does with everyone else.

Thats all i can think of really!

any tips?

Reply 1

Kittiara

16

Well, don't act like a jerk. She has done nothing bad to you, and doesn't deserve that. She may be different around you because you are actually nice to her, but that's a good thing, right? She may really appreciate you not being a jerk.

If you really like her, flirt with her a bit (in a non-creepy way) and see how she reacts. That way, you're not being too obvious so will avoid things getting awkward. If she doesn't respond the way you'd like her to, just act like you're joking around in a friendly way. If she does respond positively, it's time to have a chat.

Yes, you risk things if you have that chat. But things needn't get awkward if she isn't interested in you that way, if you reassure her that it's fine and nothing will change. The other option is to never, ever do anything about it, and then you may miss out.

Good luck! :smile:

Reply 2

Kaiju

16

stop over thinking it you dingus

Reply 3

az08

7

Original post by Anonymous

so basically, I like her but I'm not ever going to do anything because I don't want to get hurt and I don't want it to get awkward.

This is a poor, VERY poor excuse. She is just one girl, not the only girl left in the world. You are a man so stop acting like a girl and take the lead in the situation.

Even if you do get hurt you will get over it and you can use the experience for the next time. Thats called growing as a person.

Reply 4

BlueSheep32

11

Original post by Kittiara

Well, don't act like a jerk. She has done nothing bad to you, and doesn't deserve that. She may be different around you because you are actually nice to her, but that's a good thing, right? She may really appreciate you not being a jerk.

If you really like her, flirt with her a bit (in a non-creepy way) and see how she reacts. That way, you're not being too obvious so will avoid things getting awkward. If she doesn't respond the way you'd like her to, just act like you're joking around in a friendly way. If she does respond positively, it's time to have a chat.

Yes, you risk things if you have that chat. But things needn't get awkward if she isn't interested in you that way, if you reassure her that it's fine and nothing will change. The other option is to never, ever do anything about it, and then you may miss out.

Good luck! :smile:

^^This.

I know the advice is generally not to go out with someone in your flat, so I'd be cautious about it for now, but if she's interested then why pass up the opportunity for potentially a great relationship? Don't act horribly towards her to stop her from being interested in you because that could make things even more awkward.

As long as she's not giving any signs that she's not interested in you - I was in that situation with a flatmate, he didn't pick up on any of the signs that I wasn't interested and things did get awkward - admittedly it was 2 weeks in to uni that that happened but you've been there a while now so I'm guessing you know her pretty well.

Just 'go with the flow' and see what happens :smile:

Reply 5

MarleyZ

15

[h="1"]15 Ways We Can Put An End To The Dishonest Dating Culture We’ve Created[/h]

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I'm really surprised by the number of comments suggesting I should go ahead with it! I never really expected it! haha!

anyway, we'll see how it goes. the holidays are on the way and maybe if anything awkward happens we'll forget about it once we're back home. lol

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

once again, thanks for your tips.

When I first read your responses I felt really encouraged to move forward with this... however upon reflection I realised couple of things...

First, I am not the kind of guy that would spend some time with one girl and then moves to another. I am not saying that this is what I'll be doing with her, however this is what I expect her to be doing with me... probably have something for brief period and then moves on to another guy. I fall in love very easily and I simply can't handle any of that pain and disappointment.

I'd rather miss out.

Original post by Kittiara

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Original post by az08

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Original post by BlueSheep32

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Original post by MarleyZ