A new guy in class

Hey there people. So I'm in highschool. Few months ago a new guy came to my class and yeah he suddenly started talking with me so so much....like it's been 7 months since we guys are talking almost daily even on text, after talking in school. He teases me, he helps me, he seems a bit possesive also, he's jealous and tells me to stay away from the guys who seem to like me, he had sent me his childhood picture, his family photos and even told almost everything about his childhood and other friends he had from previous school, we two are the only ones in the whole class who play flute together and he always wants to talk with me and wants to do rehearsals with only me, he sometimes randomly texts me out of nowhere...he even had sent me numerous of recordings of his flute, even specially sent a recording on my birthday, his eye contacts are intense and he even notices every small thing even if he pretends not to look in my direction, everybody out there in class thinks that we two are dating.

But the worst part is he's already having a girlfriend from his previous school and he always used to avoid talking about his girlfriend, he had sent me photos of her... even on her bday he was behaving as if he wasn't interested in wishing her...he sent the same flute recording to her that was sent to me on my birthday...

Yesterday in interschool competition we guys met and his GF also came....they both were talking and I was feeling jealous over it.....he just made me feel like a friend to him in front of her....now I don't know why he made it so obvious in the starting that he was romantically intrested...

Even when I came home after yesterday's competition, his messages were there. He had again sent me video of yesterday's competition that I've already seen in front of him, asking that have you seen this ... He again texted me out of nowhere...

Now I can't ask him directly about all this but I'm feeling a bit. What should I do?

Reply 1

StriderHort

Sounds kinda made up, but you should prob tell him to get lost.

Reply 2

liv_laughlove

Hey,

Firstly, I'm sorry you're going through such a confusing and emotionally challenging situation. High school is already filled with so many ups and downs, and situations like these can make it even more complex.

Navigating situations like this can be really complicated and emotionally taxing. From your description, it sounds like this guy is sending mixed signals. While his attention may be flattering, it's also important to be cautious, especially considering he has a girlfriend. He might be acting this way for various reasons - maybe he enjoys the attention or perhaps he's confused about his feelings. However, the fact that he's avoiding talking about his girlfriend and treating you differently in her presence are red flags.

If you find yourself getting emotionally invested, it may be time to set some boundaries for your own well-being. Since you said you can't ask him directly, one way to protect yourself is by emotionally distancing a bit. Engage in other friendships, invest in other interests, and maybe limit how often you're in contact with him.

Ultimately, the ball is in his court to clarify the situation, and unless he does, it might be healthier for you to assume a platonic relationship and act accordingly.

Here are a few thoughts to consider:

First of all, trust your feelings. It's evident that you feel a connection with this guy, and it's understandable given the amount of time and energy you both invest in each other. Your feelings are valid, but remember, they're also separate from his actions.

Boundaries are important! If he's already in a relationship, he needs to respect that boundary, as well as yours. It's not fair for him to emotionally invest so much in you while he's committed elsewhere, especially if it's causing confusion and pain.

Open communication is also key, even though you feel you can't ask him directly, consider discussing how you feel. Maybe not immediately confronting the romantic aspect, but about how much time you both spend talking and how it affects you.

Consider your own boundaries :smile:

It might be worth reflecting on what you're comfortable with. Do you want this close of a friendship with someone who is in a relationship? Do his actions make you uncomfortable? If so, it's okay to take a step back.

And finally, listen to your gut! Trust yourself. If something feels off or too complicated, it's okay to prioritize your well-being over the friendship.

Remember, you deserve clarity, respect, and happiness in your relationships, whether they're friendships or romantic. Take care of yourself and trust your intuition.