haha - what an odd qustion
hmmmmm.... You could possibly dip in hydrogen peroxide to see seeing if there is any catalase in the cells.... but have a feeling that Catalase is only in animal cells, so not sure on this one
or you could weigh it, than burn it till its completely black and weigh again, and try to explain what happened to the matter that has now gone
I got an E in chemistry, so may not be the best person to ask.... But I think a bit of a fire on a biscuit sound like fun!!