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'They' pronoun is confusing!!

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He is mad.
She is mad.
They are mad.

'They' is when more than one person is mad, in my example.
But why do people refer to themselves as 'they'.

I know its a preference, but why?

I think it's because people don't want to be seen as a certain gender? I've not really understood this myself. do I use: they are mad or they is mad. idek at this point. I just refer to people as he or she until that person tells me otherwise

Reply 41

Slx.24

Original post by lucy-joy

I don't think I understand what you mean.

"Use of "they" as a singular pronoun actually dates back to 1375!"

If you're using that kinda old stuff you might as well use more of it, as a joke.. I think

Reply 42

username5839543

Original post by Anonymous

He is mad.
She is mad.
They are mad.

If someone said she is mad, I’d know that they where talking about one female individual.
If someone said he is mad I’d also know that they where talking about one male individual. I’d likely be more concerned because men in general have a greater capacity for violence.
If someone said that they where mad I’d be extremely concerned as the number and potentially the sex (which is very relevant) of the individuals is being concealed from me making it difficult to assess risk.

Reply 43

username5839543

Original post by Slx.24

"Use of "they" as a singular pronoun actually dates back to 1375!"

If you're using that kinda old stuff you might as well use more of it, as a joke.. I think

I don’t understand how a practice today can be justified by saying it is similar in some way to practices in the past. I just don’t see how that’s an argument.

Reply 44

_gcx

Study Forum Helper

I've been using a singular they and reading them without confusion (or even noticing it) for years. I don't understand why it's a problem for people.

The only thing I don't get is with they/<binary pronoun> (they/he, they/she) or <binary pronoun>/they. (she/they, he/they) I call the former "they" and the latter that binary pronoun. I'm not sure what I'm "supposed" to do in both cases though. (isn't everyone a she/they or he/they?)

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 45

Surnia

Original post by Talkative Toad

Don't see how they is weird, now pronouns like tree, cat, Zed etc imo are weird.

Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead.

Reply 46

username5839543

Original post by _gcx

I've been using a singular they and reading them without confusion for years. I don't understand why it's a problem for people.

The only thing I don't get is with they/<binary pronoun> (they/he, they/she) or <binary pronoun>/they. (she/they, he/they) I call the former "they" and the latter that binary pronoun. I'm not sure what I'm "supposed" to do in both cases though. (isn't everyone a she/they or he/they?)

Apparently they want you to alternate they with the other pronoun they expect.

It makes little sense to me as I was always thought that it’s rude to use pronouns to refer to someone who is present.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 47

Slx.24

Original post by Cancelled Alice

I don’t understand how a practice today can be justified by saying it is similar in some way to practices in the past. I just don’t see how that’s an argument.

Didn't you just... contradict your own point ☠

Reply 48

username5839543

Original post by Slx.24

Didn't you just... contradict your own point ☠

You’ll have to spell that one out to me.

Reply 49

_gcx

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Cancelled Alice

I've been told that too but do it in anyway in 3 way + convos, lol.

I understand they/he and they/she a bit more - someone told me that they don't mind "he" but prefer "they", but I've also heard the alternating thing too. (I know this is used as an excuse to misgender - but I'm not really quick-minded enough while talking to alternate like that) He/they and she/they I haven't been able to understand so far, since you can't really opt out of being referred to as "they".

Tbqh I think people push back on pronouns because they associate them with young progressives, and want to push back against them. People care too much about the apparent grammatical incorrectness of a singular they. (though I've never heard it being called wrong until it was used to describe NBs)

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 50

username5886907

Original post by Anonymous

my english teacher lied the whole time

i cant help but agree

AK/47

Shoudlnt it be "lol" to match ur pfp

Everything about me is a mismatch

Reply 51

lucy-joy

Original post by Slx.24

"Use of "they" as a singular pronoun actually dates back to 1375!"

If you're using that kinda old stuff you might as well use more of it, as a joke.. I think

Well Shakespeare wasn't born until around 1564 and the English language has constantly developed over time so I don't really understand your argument here in terms of "old stuff".

Reply 52

Slx.24

Original post by Cancelled Alice

You’ll have to spell that one out to me.

Ouh, you replied to something I was saying to someone else so I mistook you for the other person lol.

Original post by lucy-joy

Well Shakespeare wasn't born until around 1564 and the English language has constantly developed over time so I don't really understand your argument here in terms of "old stuff".

Disregarding more specific time frame... The point is that over time the English language had indeed evolved. Yet you're arguing that it's natural to use a near millennia old practice and that it justifies the use of they/them? It doesn't make too much sense to me.

Of course in some cases this is the case as in the example "They left their coat" But that only applies to when the person in question is unknown. If the speaker knows the person then they could alternatively change the address "Mike left his coat" or "Mike? Yeah he left his coat" once the person in question is known then there is know need for the "singular they".. which is also an exception, which the norm is the "plural they"

Reply 53

username5842566

@Slx.24 dw you make sense to me 😭

Spoiler

Reply 54

username5842566

personally, a strong sided opinion, i think keep to the classic pronouns.

Reply 55

Slx.24

Original post by ukii

@Slx.24 dw you make sense to me 😭

Spoiler

Why thank you M'lad. Much appreciated. I try to be as logical as I can. Which is kinda hard because this entire topic is in my opinion, illogical

Reply 56

username5842566

Original post by Slx.24

Why thank you M'lad. Much appreciated. I try to be as logical as I can. Which is kinda hard because this entire topic is in my opinion, illogical

no problem young sir

Reply 57

wifd149

From my perspective, the question that this thread is seeking to ask is whether using "they" for a singular individual is valid. Since this is somewhat of a personal debate, I lean towards the fact that it is. With the increasing acceptances of individuals outside the norm, it makes sense for us to embrace the use of "they" for a singular individual as part of a natural progression and modernisation of a language. In my opinion, there are not any further justifications as to why this could be acceptable within the current societal climate.

In that vein, the fact that "they" is grammatically associated with "are" or "were" shouldn't completely disregard and invalidate the use of "they" for a singular individual. Practically speaking, there are also other ways to refer to someone else without confirming their gender - for instance, if that person's name is Jovi, then you can easily say that "Jovi is coming over later. Can we make banana bread for Jovi since it's Jovi's favourite food?" I generally do use "they" to refer to another person when I don't know what their gender is; "Jovi likes to play football, so I doubt that they would like to play basketball." If you think that people could be mistaken as to how many people you are referring to, you can always clarify in a conversation.

On that note however, since this relies on whether you believe gender dysphoria is real or should be attended to, I don't think that everyone will immediately embrace the usage of "they" in this sense. There are languages outside of English that can refer to a third person without confirming their gender though, for example you say "dia" in Malay/Indonesian to refer to "he" or "she," so they could be more friendlier in this aspect.

I personally find other more modern uses of pronouns (e.g. zie/zer) to be confusing, but if anyone wants me to refer them that way, I would do my best to practice that whenever I am referring to them.