Could someone read this and share their thoughts and corrections?(Part 1)
CHAPTER 1
KEEVA
Yes.
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
I'll do it.
I would do anything I was told.
Like a trained dog, I was taught to obey.
I was the girl who was chased to pursue her
parents' dreams. The teacher's pet, the smart kid at the front of the class.Only Driven by the need to make them proud and their worthless validation. I had been gaslighted into thinking that what I wanted and what they wanted were the same. Trophies
and Books that I dreaded reading lined my numerous shelves.The paragon of an average golden child. That was how I had lived all my life. That was me. That is me.
But it was never enough.
.
****
"Ouch..."
I had bitten my tongue to quell my whimpers. My landing
was anything but soft. The edgy window vane
had drawn blood. I draw out a napkin and dab my calf. My parents would kill me if they ever found out.
The night was young and it showed.
Every house on my block had lights on. Friday was
a day for movies and relaxation, a start off to the
occasional weekend that was short to me because it was all about studying.
And studying only.
Tonight changes that. I, Keeva Thompson, would
go against my parents' wishes and pursue mine tonight. I would
go to a random party. It was grad year, nobody would notice the school's nobody under
a different shade of foundation, the thickest mascara I
could afford with my meagre savings, the darkest lipstick
my mom owned and my amateur makeup skills.
And of course, the killer dresses that I didn't own.
I hailed a taxi and made my way to the address that buzzed
around the school yesterday, hoping it was the right one.
****
The house was exactly how all the gossip girls
described it. The high pillars, the wide verandah and
the front porch.
A drunk couple bumped into me on my way in. I
stepped back to give them distance. According
to the romance books I secretly read people could throw up when heavily drunk.
The front door was wide open and the furniture was
distinguishable. So were all the couples that were
making out on them. Flashing coloured lights bounced
off the silhouettes of teenagers and their respective
bare chests and asses. A chill breeze reminded me
of my exposed shoulders and why I hadn't walked in
yet.
Was I scared? Of people, I had never talked to?
Nobody would know. Nobody would know.
I walked in and no sooner I had done that than a
A drunk guy bumped into me.
"Watch it, pretty".
Someone called me pretty. That's a good start.
I made my way to the drinks table; there wasn't one.
So now I was thirsty and lost and the only knowledge
I had of parties were from the fiction books that I
secretly read. I walked through the
dancing entourage but this time I shoved back.
Newton's 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction.
I struggled to find a door, any door that would lead to somewhere
new, maybe give me the 'surge' or a 'boost' to
party. The music greatly disturbed me; I don't know what these people enjoy in the loud and obnoxious bass-boosted songs streaming from the overhead speakers.
A couple leaned against a door. The girl's legs
wrapped around a boy's waist and their lips seemed
like they were glued to each other. Her boyfriend's veiny hands
trickled down her back, his fingers massaging the arch of her back to the beat of the music. Their shirtless bodies collided with every surge, with every thrust their tongues went further and further.
Disgusting.
I walk past them and enter the kitchen, hoping I wouldn't find more of THAT there. But once again, I am proved incorrect.
There are about 3 couples in the kitchen but luckily, not as many as there are in the living room. But that is only because there is a huge commotion on the island table as a bunch of hippies holler and scream as they chug alcohol and sniff cocaine.
Even more disgusting.
A couple leans on the fridge, they're shyer than the previous. the boy's enormous hands cupping the girl's face; almost like they're ashamed.
"Excuse me".
My voice sounds strained, to my disappointment. I thought I would enjoy this large social gathering with loud music. It is apparently (apart from all the fancy birthday parties that my parents force me to go to so I can meet their 'rich' friends), my first party.
KEEVA
Yes.
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
I'll do it.
I would do anything I was told.
Like a trained dog, I was taught to obey.
I was the girl who was chased to pursue her
parents' dreams. The teacher's pet, the smart kid at the front of the class.Only Driven by the need to make them proud and their worthless validation. I had been gaslighted into thinking that what I wanted and what they wanted were the same. Trophies
and Books that I dreaded reading lined my numerous shelves.The paragon of an average golden child. That was how I had lived all my life. That was me. That is me.
But it was never enough.
.
****
"Ouch..."
I had bitten my tongue to quell my whimpers. My landing
was anything but soft. The edgy window vane
had drawn blood. I draw out a napkin and dab my calf. My parents would kill me if they ever found out.
The night was young and it showed.
Every house on my block had lights on. Friday was
a day for movies and relaxation, a start off to the
occasional weekend that was short to me because it was all about studying.
And studying only.
Tonight changes that. I, Keeva Thompson, would
go against my parents' wishes and pursue mine tonight. I would
go to a random party. It was grad year, nobody would notice the school's nobody under
a different shade of foundation, the thickest mascara I
could afford with my meagre savings, the darkest lipstick
my mom owned and my amateur makeup skills.
And of course, the killer dresses that I didn't own.
I hailed a taxi and made my way to the address that buzzed
around the school yesterday, hoping it was the right one.
****
The house was exactly how all the gossip girls
described it. The high pillars, the wide verandah and
the front porch.
A drunk couple bumped into me on my way in. I
stepped back to give them distance. According
to the romance books I secretly read people could throw up when heavily drunk.
The front door was wide open and the furniture was
distinguishable. So were all the couples that were
making out on them. Flashing coloured lights bounced
off the silhouettes of teenagers and their respective
bare chests and asses. A chill breeze reminded me
of my exposed shoulders and why I hadn't walked in
yet.
Was I scared? Of people, I had never talked to?
Nobody would know. Nobody would know.
I walked in and no sooner I had done that than a
A drunk guy bumped into me.
"Watch it, pretty".
Someone called me pretty. That's a good start.
I made my way to the drinks table; there wasn't one.
So now I was thirsty and lost and the only knowledge
I had of parties were from the fiction books that I
secretly read. I walked through the
dancing entourage but this time I shoved back.
Newton's 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction.
I struggled to find a door, any door that would lead to somewhere
new, maybe give me the 'surge' or a 'boost' to
party. The music greatly disturbed me; I don't know what these people enjoy in the loud and obnoxious bass-boosted songs streaming from the overhead speakers.
A couple leaned against a door. The girl's legs
wrapped around a boy's waist and their lips seemed
like they were glued to each other. Her boyfriend's veiny hands
trickled down her back, his fingers massaging the arch of her back to the beat of the music. Their shirtless bodies collided with every surge, with every thrust their tongues went further and further.
Disgusting.
I walk past them and enter the kitchen, hoping I wouldn't find more of THAT there. But once again, I am proved incorrect.
There are about 3 couples in the kitchen but luckily, not as many as there are in the living room. But that is only because there is a huge commotion on the island table as a bunch of hippies holler and scream as they chug alcohol and sniff cocaine.
Even more disgusting.
A couple leans on the fridge, they're shyer than the previous. the boy's enormous hands cupping the girl's face; almost like they're ashamed.
"Excuse me".
My voice sounds strained, to my disappointment. I thought I would enjoy this large social gathering with loud music. It is apparently (apart from all the fancy birthday parties that my parents force me to go to so I can meet their 'rich' friends), my first party.
Wow that's super awesome - i'd definitely read this book if it was for sale!
Aww thanks 
It's currently a work in progress
i hope i can finish it before this year ends coz i got a lot of exams
the 'book''s name is accelerate
do you want to read more?
It's currently a work in progress
i hope i can finish it before this year ends coz i got a lot of exams
the 'book''s name is accelerate
do you want to read more?
Original post by MadisonBailey06
Wow that's super awesome - i'd definitely read this book if it was for sale!
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