miserable at uni
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
You can still apply through UCAS. Most courses accept applications after the deadline especially for year 2 entry.
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
Omg you sound like me! I am into the quiet social things too like museums and sporting socials and eating food out or coffee shops! Where were you when I was at uni!
Anyway yolo, so I recommend getting a transfer to another uni closer to your home town and commute. That’s what I did when I hated and dropped out of my first uni. I was much happier. I then hung around my non-uni friends and life was way better. At least in your home town you can choose your old friends should uni friends not work out!
[quote=xxxx.
Incredibly sexist post. Lest not forget it takes two to tango and therefore men are as culpable as women, and that’s *if* what you describe is true.
Incredibly sexist post. Lest not forget it takes two to tango and therefore men are as culpable as women, and that’s *if* what you describe is true.
Hi,
I was in this exact situation in my first year, I didn't click with anyone and I found uni really hard. It was during covid as well so I didn't have the chance to meet others.
But then in my second year I met the most amazing people who I became friends with and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of people struggle in Y1 of uni so please don't feel alone, the best way to find people like you I think is to join societies you are interested in, then you will be with like minded people and it will be easier to find your friends.
I hope this helps
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
I was in this exact situation in my first year, I didn't click with anyone and I found uni really hard. It was during covid as well so I didn't have the chance to meet others.
But then in my second year I met the most amazing people who I became friends with and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of people struggle in Y1 of uni so please don't feel alone, the best way to find people like you I think is to join societies you are interested in, then you will be with like minded people and it will be easier to find your friends.
I hope this helps
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
Original post by University of Sunderland Student Ambassador
Hi,
I was in this exact situation in my first year, I didn't click with anyone and I found uni really hard. It was during covid as well so I didn't have the chance to meet others.
But then in my second year I met the most amazing people who I became friends with and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of people struggle in Y1 of uni so please don't feel alone, the best way to find people like you I think is to join societies you are interested in, then you will be with like minded people and it will be easier to find your friends.
I hope this helps
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
I was in this exact situation in my first year, I didn't click with anyone and I found uni really hard. It was during covid as well so I didn't have the chance to meet others.
But then in my second year I met the most amazing people who I became friends with and I am so thankful for that.
Lots of people struggle in Y1 of uni so please don't feel alone, the best way to find people like you I think is to join societies you are interested in, then you will be with like minded people and it will be easier to find your friends.
I hope this helps
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Hi,
As Ellen has said , your first year of University can be difficult because you are in a new city with new people and I know how nervous it is to get out there and socialise.
I felt very lonely in my 1st year at DMU, the coronavirus restrictions didn't help and I felt like giving up and dropping out of University but here I am nearly a graduate 3 years later and I have to tell you it does get better.
In my second and third year I reached out to my coursemates more and we went out and did things. There will be other people who will want to do more chilled things, I love going for a coffee and breakfast with friends at University. Even doing study sessions with coursemates may help you socialise better. I have met so many great friends in my 2nd and 3rd year.
My advice would be to maybe think about joining a society or becoming a student ambassador. I did this and now I have amazing people in my life. You may meet some great people if you do this! You are most definitely not alone, there are probably others who feel the same and I am sure you will meet some new people eventually.
Please do not give up, University is such a good experience and when you find your people it is so worth it!!
I hope this helps
-Tianna
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
Truth be told university isn’t about making friends in my opinion. If you hate the degree then you should definitely change unis now however if it’s about friends then you can always make new ones, university is a big place and there lots of different people that you haven’t met yet! Have you joined any societies? If you are an extrovert but you like going to museums etc. I would say it’s fairly easy to meet people that are into those things like book society?
I love going to art exhibitions and reading and I’m a total nerd when it comes to movies. I’m a huge introvert so I don’t take part in popular societies or anything that has a crowd of people. I stay to myself and i’ll sit at the front of every lecture, sometimes I go to book society. How I made most of my friends was just going up to someone and telling them that their outfit is really cute where did they get idk the shoes from? or the book that they’re reading is really interesting and trying to start up a convo like that.
If you want a new environment of friends you can always be the bigger person and start up a convo with anyone, you’re not chained down to a friend group or anything yk? It’s uni not high school!
Don’t worry about social life so much, I think university is about finding yourself, you get to focus on your subject and who you are outside of everything else, you can start to go museums by yourself and start a journey to creating your self identity, what kind of fashion you’re into etc. the friends will come after trust me! I’m sure there is someone in your uni that feels the same way you do and they’re just waiting for someone like you to make the first move.
Hope this helped!
#Anon 1,
Sorry, that it's been such a rubbish year.
It does sound like you need to find new people to hang out with next year, if you decide to stay on. Not everyone at uni wants to drink and go clubbing. Maybe looking to join some new or different societies might help.
You have to prioritise your wellbeing. If you no longer want to share a house with them, you do not have to, as you said yourself you haven't signed the contract. They may well know other people who are still looking for a house. The most important thing is that you don't put yourself in a difficult situation for next year.
Try your best with the exams that you have: remember your results in first year do not count to your final degree.
If you feel like you have got to that point where you do not want to continue at the same uni, do talk to your tutor about transferring to another university and make use of the advice of @PQ
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Sorry, that it's been such a rubbish year.
It does sound like you need to find new people to hang out with next year, if you decide to stay on. Not everyone at uni wants to drink and go clubbing. Maybe looking to join some new or different societies might help.
You have to prioritise your wellbeing. If you no longer want to share a house with them, you do not have to, as you said yourself you haven't signed the contract. They may well know other people who are still looking for a house. The most important thing is that you don't put yourself in a difficult situation for next year.
Try your best with the exams that you have: remember your results in first year do not count to your final degree.
If you feel like you have got to that point where you do not want to continue at the same uni, do talk to your tutor about transferring to another university and make use of the advice of @PQ
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my
Original post by James20033333
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my
Your post appears to have been cut off.
Original post by Anonymous
I started uni in September.
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
the degree itself is fine, but socially I feel like giving up. when I got on the train back after easter, I had a moment of total clarity where I realised I didnt want to go back.
I haven't clicked with many people, and those who I thought were my friends I have realised aren't nice people. a primary difference is that though I am a massive extrovert, id prefer to socialise by going for breakfast or going shopping or a museum, and everyone just wants to go drinking etc. in the past ive made plans with my "friends" to do something more chill and they have magically turned it into lets go clubbing, which gives me a massive panic attack.
I just feel so lonely, and theres nothing to do to distract myself as I chose a quieter uni thinking id find people like me.
however, ive left it so late now to realise I hate it that I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. if I start somewhere else from first year, I feel like ive wasted a year of my life, and since ive missed UCAS deadlines etc it suddenly becomes 2.
that said, I honestly cannot see myself living in this city or attending this uni any longer - I cant even study for my exams because ive reached such a point of "I dont care" - if I fail it gives me an out...
also as horrid as the people I agreed to live with next year have been, I dont want to screw them over as we already chose a house (I havent signed the contract though).
I just really dont know what to do...
if anyone is in this situation/has been before give me some advice???
I think you will find these types of people, for me it took a year to find these kinds of people but they do exactly what I like to do, one easy way is to find people of certain culture - most of my Uni friends are Muslim - who tend to not drink, that's what I did without realising, all my friends do not drink so we tend to go out for dinners and coffee's sometimes book shopping and whatever else we get up to.
As Jamie Carragher says, “what can you do?”
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Advice: dropping out
- I want to quit nursing and don't know what to do with my life.
- Sheffield hallam
- is it worth transferring?
- Alevel Choices
- Direction to go in after uni
- LSE or UCL
- Mathematics
- How will me dropping out of college affect my chance of uni?
- Depressed after transferring uni
- Really stressed and Confused
- Is studying in london worth it? ( Biochemistry)
- Will it be hard to get into other unis next year after dropping out?
- ncl uni
- Don't know what to do
- Should I study Law or Film and Literature?
- Should I Resit? A*A*A*B
- how are my grades (y11 mocks)?
- How to be a lawyer in Australia!!! UK degree or Aus degree?!
- Back to my old university with a 2.2
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
