Making friends at university.

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Reply 1

nm12345

18

Which uni you planning on? Maybe there might be others on this site also planning to go there...

Reply 2

Guitar_Nerd

OP

5

Original post by nm12345

Which uni you planning on? Maybe there might be others on this site also planning to go there...

I'm planning on going to university of worcester.

Reply 3

nm12345

18

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm planning on going to university of worcester.

I guess you could post in their forum on here and see who else might be planning to go there too?
Here's the link: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=846

Any mods able to move this thread into uni of Worcester forum by any chance??

Reply 4

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

@GuitarNerd

You sound musical, so you could check out music societies that you could join. You would have something in common so it should make it easier with conversations.

People normally ask the same questions during the first few weeks of uni: What's your name? Where are you from? What are you studying? So don't be afraid to keep repeating yourself over and over again. You might bond over a city that their from or from them studying a similar course.

Check out the different events being held for Freshers' Week / Welcome Week.

Remember, everyone really is in the same position, trying to get to know people and make friends.

Try to talk to people on your course, in your student halls, at university/society events, find out about what things are going on in the area and just be willing to put yourself out there – you'll be surprised at how many people will feel more relaxed or open with you when your just yourself, even when you feel like you're being a bit random, talking nonsense, or appear a bit weird. It's normally how you meet people who have a good sense of humour!

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hi there!

When everyone starts university, everyone feels the same so don't worry too much!
One of the great things about universities is that they have a freshers fair and lots of freshers-specific events. This means everyone you meet will be in the exact same position as well! You could also see if one of your new flatmates wants to go with you as sometimes it's easier to do this with someone else !

We also have facebook pages set up for this and you can start chatting with the people on your course before you even get to university. This is what I did and I found it took so much pressure off the first day as I already felt like I knew some people!

Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with!

Rebecca

Reply 6

University of Kent Reps

Official Rep

16

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hi there

I would really recommend joining a society at uni! When i first moved to uni I was really anxious about making friends, especially at the idea of approaching people that I had never met before. Societies are a fun way to meet likeminded people without having to approach people. There are hundreds of societies to choose from so i'm sure there is something that is of interest to you. They can be a great environment to learn or develop a skill whilst also meeting people. Societies host socials (usually once a week) which can involve things like a club night, movie night, games night, making pizzas etc. I personally found it a lot easier to make friends though these as you aren't having to think of what to say too much because you're doing an activity collectively. I will leave a link below of the list of societies at Kent so that you can get an idea of what they are like. Don't worry too much about making longterm friends straight away. Focus on having fun! You will find that you will naturally make friends over time such as through your accommodation, seminars, mutual friends etc. Hope this helps

Kent societies - https://kentunion.co.uk/activities

Best wishes

Joanna
-Uni of Kent Rep

Reply 7

JasmineBowley

6

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hi! I remember being quite worried about this, and just generally feeling feeling out of place, before starting uni as I know I'm quite shy meeting new people in the beginning (I felt this way even before starting secondary school too) - I'm sure a lot of people are feeling the same way even if it doesn't seem like it!
I felt a similar way with going up to people as well, it might seem quite uncomfortable, but I noticed everyone around me doing it themselves too. In the first few weeks especially, people are likely to enjoy getting to know everyone, even if it doesn't result in a close friendships, its a great chance to build confidence, and over time it becomes easier :smile:

There are a few things I think really helped me with easing the nerves of meeting new people and especially making friends when I was starting uni:

Due to the nature of our course being interdisciplinary and the admissions process really focussing on our mind-set and way of thinking about the world, I was very lucky with my cohort. We are all different but like-minded people and everyone also had such different backgrounds, which meant that conversations were always about something new but highly intriguing, and I always seem to learn something new about my piers even after almost two years.

My course mates and I were the founding cohort at my uni, whilst this meant that we all got to know each other a lot more than perhaps at a typical university, and across the cohorts are all very close, it felt daunting to start without anyone else to look up to! Thankfully, there were a lot of events and activities organised to help us get to know each other, and the faculty. Prior to starting the course, there were offer-holder days were we got to talk to other planning to attend in September. I was very glad to have attended both as it meant that on the first day I recognised most faces, and knew a few people I was already more comfortable speaking too.
We also spent week "0" of the course doing activities to learn more about one another, how we think, and approach problems, the student experience team organised lots of events (https://www.lis.ac.uk/events/) that helped us build teamwork skills - which are really important on our course and later in life.
Taking part in activities, societies, or social events, etc that happen outside of uni-hours is also a great way to get to know people as conversations may be less-inclined to focus on just your studies, and more about getting to know different things about each other on your course.

For me personally, I found that moving to Whitechapel, London, into accommodation near were I study, helped further my integration with people on my course, and others studying elsewhere in the area. I was able to attend a lot more of the spontaneous social activities and student experience events by not having to worry about travel; by living near course mates this was especially the case for the social activities like cooking dinner with people or studying together which were a great time to get to know individuals or smaller groups of people in a comfortable environment.
That being said I didn't move to London until half way through first year as it wasn't something I was prepared to do, or ready for, until that point. Everyone will have their own time-frames or own things that help them with this process. It may take time or being a bit out of your comfort zone, but uni is a great time to do this - everyone in the cohort is in the same boat and likely doesn't know anyone either!
I hope this helps :smile:

(edited 11 months ago)

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hi,

I completely understand how you are feeling prior to joining university I was nervous on whether I would make friends as well. However, try not to stress over this as there are many different opportunities available to help make friends. For example if you are living in accommodation this is a great way to get to know people whether this is just within your halls or the whole building another bonus to this is that it is likely their first time living away from home.

There is also your course mates as well for Edge Hill we had an induction week to introduce you to your course and lectures this did include icebreakers which can feel rather awkward however as the name suggest it breaks the ice and allows you to have a rather good laugh with people and get to know multiple people on your course as well. However, you will find many people in the same situation for the first few weeks at trying to find some friends so I find that this makes it easier to just go up and chat to people.

There is also the opportunity to join a society in which there are so many different options at all universities and this is a great way to be with people who have similar interests to you which makes it much easier to start a conversation with them and hopefully carry this conversation.

Some advice I would give would be to looking if the university you have applied for has any Facebook groups as this a great way at trying to get in contact with some course mates as I found it made me feel more comfortable to see someone who you have been talking to a couple weeks prior.

Hope that helps! :smile:

Rebecca
2nd Year Geoenvironmental Hazards Student

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hey there @Guitar_Nerd !
The best piece of advice I can give you is to utilise social media as much as you can. I'm someone who struggles with just going up to people and starting conversations so I joined every single Facebook group possible including all of the freshers groups for my uni. From there I found the accommodation chats and the course chats and began talking to people on my course and people in my accommodation before I'd even moved in. From this I found friends to walk into the lectures on the first day with and I'm still close with them to this day. I not only found my flatmates this way but also met more people on my floor and my next-door neighbours. It's so much easier to chat to people through social media first and it gives you a good advantage for when you get there. You already have common interests with everyone on your course because you've picked the same course at the end of the day.

The best way you can make friends at university is by joining a society. Especially something that requires teams or groups because it's a smaller division and it's less overwhelming for you all at once. Again, if you've joined the same society then you already have some of the same interests. Flatmate wise, try and book some freshers events together and even look at your university's welcome week events such as societies fairs, freebie fairs and sports fairs. Even if you don't want to join any of them, it's a good excuse to go out and do something with your flatmates. Another comfort blanket that I found was inviting my best friend from home to come to one of the freshers events with us because i was already comfortable with her so my flat could see that comfortable side to me. I wouldn't advise inviting someone from home for the full week because freshers week is your opportunity to get to know your flat as best as you can. You could even go and explore the city together or go food shopping to break the ice. In the same way you'd choose something active for a first date to avoid any awkwardness, choose something that you can fill any silence with and something that will keep you all entertained such as going food shopping or going out as a flat to do something like bowling or mini-golf. All it takes is one good experience with your flat to get comfortable around each other. Yes, this might not happen right away but that's completely normal and everyone works at different paces. Overall most of the negative stereotypes about making friends at university comes from people who are overthinking before they've even got there. Go in with no expectations and give it your best go, that's all anyone can ask.

Hope this helped, let me know if you have any more questions!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU

Original post by Guitar_Nerd

I'm nearly done with sixth form and will be going to uni this September and I'm worried about making friends. All the advice I've been seeing is just to go up to people and say hi as everyone will be nervous and wanting friends but that just sounds really intrusive and awkward and even if they were willing to talk I've no idea how I would carry the conversation. Even if I were to join a social I feel like I'd just be in the back by myself while everyone makes friends around me. Any tips for making friends that sound like they'll actually work?

Hi!

I completely understand where you are coming from and I was very much feeling the same when I started last September.
The best advice I received was just to get involved with things you're interested in (whether that's societies or events) and that way you will meet people who you have at least one thing in common with.
You meet so many different people at university (especially in freshers week!) you are sure to find people you get along with and share interests with, and there's always other quiet people in a group so don't worry about feeling like you're on the outside of things as there's usually other people feeling this way too.
Everyone is trying to make friends with as many people as they can at university, in my experience especially it has been a lot easier than I anticipated. Just going up to people is difficult especially if it doesn't come naturally to you, but once you get there and everyone is just going up to people and talking it starts to feel a bit more normal and bit less daunting.

I hope this settles your nerves a little!
Faye

Making friends at university.

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