teacher/student boundaries

So I have this really great teacher who's genuinely really great at teaching - he really likes his subject and being one of the younger staff members he understands how to get across to students better and motivate them to do well in class.

However, I've noticed that whilst he's known as the funny teacher he makes quite a few innuendos when i stay behind to ask more questions and it's just us. But besides from these innuendos he actually does go above and beyond when explaining to me, so I don't know if this is just how he tries to make learning fun? tbh i'm a nerd so i like learning anyways. I've also noticed that if it's just us and another teacher walks in he changes up entirely - the mood becomes a lot less casual and he springs questions on me to make sure i'm listening even though he doesn't do this without the other teacher in the room.
There's also been a number of occasions where he's touched my hands/arms but it all just feels accidental, eg when we're handing stuff over to each other, and it seems unlikely that there was an ulterior motive.

I'm quite a reserved person so this has been a little strange but i'm aware that might just be a me problem. it feels like i'm overthinking everything but just want to look for others opinions on this?

Reply 1

unknownforever

9

I'm reading thid and certain bits are making me feel a bit uneasy. It may be his quite a cool casual teacher and that's fine but then there's certain bits are a bit weird like the touching, it may be accidental yeah but once twice not many a times. In terms of changing behavior when anltger teacher enters again depends that can does happen because they feel more aware etc.. Dunno.. Depends how you feel about it? And I'm only reading it so going by words I'm not there.

Reply 2

squidrangle

11

Small indicators: does he leave a door open? does he get closer than he needs to be? how often are you alone together? Let me know, and I might be able to contribute more judgement

It sounds like touching is accidental and this is doesn't sound like he has an ulterior motive, but it's really important to trust your intuition on this a bit. Because it's mostly intuition and nothing really serious, there's nothing which needs to be reported or flagged to a school safeguarding team, but in the meantime you should be aware of what he's doing and make effort to avoid being in a room with him by yourself if you're uncomfortable — look into other forms of teaching yourself concepts you don't understand, or ask him to go over it in lesson times. If there's more detail we should know but you don't want to share, find a teacher you like and ask them, maybe without giving away the name/subject of the teacher who's making you uneasy. They'll then be able to gauge whether what he's doing is concerning in line with your school's safeguarding policies.

Reply 3

Roo93

2

I read this, and I have to be honest it gave me the heeby geebys a bit, especially when you said they change when another teacher enters the room. It could very well be innocent, you could be their favourite (all teachers have a favourite, I don't care what anyone says.) But if you are uneasy you shouldn't be in a room alone with them, maybe ask a friend to stay back too if you need to speak with them? As I said though it could be innocent.

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by squidrangle

Small indicators: does he leave a door open? does he get closer than he needs to be? how often are you alone together? Let me know, and I might be able to contribute more judgement

It sounds like touching is accidental and this is doesn't sound like he has an ulterior motive, but it's really important to trust your intuition on this a bit. Because it's mostly intuition and nothing really serious, there's nothing which needs to be reported or flagged to a school safeguarding team, but in the meantime you should be aware of what he's doing and make effort to avoid being in a room with him by yourself if you're uncomfortable — look into other forms of teaching yourself concepts you don't understand, or ask him to go over it in lesson times. If there's more detail we should know but you don't want to share, find a teacher you like and ask them, maybe without giving away the name/subject of the teacher who's making you uneasy. They'll then be able to gauge whether what he's doing is concerning in line with your school's safeguarding policies.

He used to keep the door open then shut it once because it was really noisy outside and the door kind of just stayed shut every time for a couple months regardless of noise, but recently its back open. He does get quite close to me but i just move away/lean away from him because it does feel a bit weird to be that close... Overall the actions aren't over the top weird but also a lot more casual than i'm used to, and it seems that he knows it's not a normal thing to do since he's totally different with other people in the room

Reply 5

squidrangle

11

Yeah… that is weird. Maybe try talking to your favourite teacher about it (assuming it's not him!) as they'll know exactly what the boundaries should be. You shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable in school, so talk to someone about it. In the meantime — just avoid 1:1 interaction like I said earlier. Extra question: how regularly does this happen? You've mentioned it being a couple months, which seems very odd for getting lesson support from a teacher, unless someone else in school knows about it

teacher/student boundaries

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