I'm just looking for advice here, not a diagnosis or anything. But basically I'm worried that I might have autism. I'm 19F and I've always struggled with social situations, I struggle to initiate conversations and do small talk, and I've always felt like I was an outsider when it came to those things. When I was 15/16 I realized how socially useless I was and decided that I wanted to get better and so started putting myself in situations outside my comfort zone to try to improve my social skills, and it really did help. But now I'm starting as a medical student and I'm worried that if I am autistic and I don't get support that I might struggle with the communication side of the role more than other people. The thing is I'm so scared of going to the doctor and them telling me that that's not what it is and that I am just socially useless and I guess I've always been a high achiever in school and people generally just think I'm a bit weird/ a nerd rather than there being anything more behind it. And it's not just the social side, I also struggled with sensory stuff as a kid i.e. hating wearing jeans and things with labels in, I can't deal with makeup or facepaint on my face, I hate loud environments. But then when I read diagnostic criteria things like special interests or repetitive behaviours it makes me doubt everything again. Because though I guess I don't have many hobbies and those that I do have I get very into, but not in a research heavy/ categorical way. Always more of a performative way i.e. playing piano, reading a lot etc.
So basically whenever I feel like maybe I should go to the GP about it I start to doubt myself again and think I may just be hoping that it's autism when it might just be me making links where there are none. But anyway anyone with advice or any experiences of a diagnosis would be really helpful