People pleaser

I am so sick and tired of people controlling me as a puppet they can do anything with - i am scared to talk back to them as i am thinking what will they think / others think.
i cannot set boundaries between people
i am too nice

i cant anymore-

Hi,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I also understand you perfectly. I was in a similar place some time ago.

The good news is that it does not have to be like that forever. It is very much achievable to find a balance between being kind and assertive.

In my case, therapy helped me realise that just as I accept other people's denials, my saying "no" does not start other people's drama.

If you're not necessarily interested in going to and paying for therapy, I encourage you to find a book on the subject. I know from my own experience that reading 300 pages on a subject works a bit like therapy. It allows you to understand the root of the problem, come up with the best solution and find the strength to implement it.

I'm sure you can learn to say "no", too It certainly takes time and practice to become more assertive but be patient with yourself, and you will find it easier to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions

Good luck!

Julia

i cant afford to buy a book or a therapist as i am still a minor with no source of income
i dont start drama nor do i get involved
i just dont think i can survive being like this i have a full life ahead of me ..i am scared to say no to people not that they do anything serious but even if i dont want to i justt can't-

i cant afford to buy a book or a therapist as i am still a minor with no source of income
i dont start drama nor do i get involved
i just dont think i can survive being like this i have a full life ahead of me ..i am scared to say no to people not that they do anything serious but even if i dont want to i justt can't-

Sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Many people struggle to say no to people (myself included!). If it is causing you problems or distress, you could consider seeking support through your GP. They can refer for counselling or therapy via the NHS (meaning you do not need to pay). In the meantime, there are a lot of self-help resources online or in books. You could try searching online for assertiveness skills training, setting boundaries, or overcoming low self-esteem.