University life and missing out.

Yes I study at North Greenwich.

Hi,
I’m afraid that I’m missing out at uni because my university isn’t what I thought it would be. I’m entering third year now.

When I started university I moved in with my dad because he has a flat in London he goes home every weekend Friday to Monday so I’m home alone for 4 days a week and he’s only in the flat 8pm - 6am which should be amazing.

However I think because of this I haven’t had any flatmates and therefore no friends.

My uni isn’t a normal uni we don’t really have a campus it’s more like a college in London North Greenwich. I don’t think the people who study there are my kind of people I have some friends who I made out of pure luck but they don’t like going out and I only really see them at university lectures (by the way I’m only in 2 days a week for 4 hours). I hear stories from my hometown friends of them going out every night and having some amazing crazy stories with their flatmates.

My university doesn’t have any societies with social events even if I wanted to make friends there. I was going to change unis after a terrible first year but before I left I had a chat with my head of year who promised me things were changing, I for some reason believed him and decided to stay another year it was just as bad and I was longing for more friends the entire time.

I’m now entering third year so I feel it’s too late (now early sept) to change unis. As I met up with my friend from home town and she told me what it was like for her which has made me wish I could change.

I’m trying to make the most of London however whenever I go clubbing (which is rare like once a month) I try to make friends but most of the people who are in the club are like 27 or older I’m 20. Plus I find it hard to find a group of friends in a club the musics loud and everyone is wasted so no one will remember each other in the morning.

I’m going to join random London clubs this year like tennis and snowboarding but I’m slightly scarred from clubbing, my job and uni that I still won’t find a decent friend group.

Anyone got any tips a 20 year old student can make other student friends that don’t go to his uni. Thanks

Anon,

London is an amazing city (there is so much to enjoy) but it is also very big and can be very isolating.

There are always people moving in and out of London so it can be difficult to establish friendships as people tend to be very busy, private, or just focused on what they want to achieve while they are in London e.g. focusing on their studies or career.

All that being said, international students tend to be very open to new friendships as they are keen to build a sense of community so they can feel more at home. It might be an idea to contact the International Office at your university to see if they need help welcoming new international students and if there are any social events where they would like students who have been at the university for more than a year to attend. You might find yourself getting to know a range of people and making some great friends : )

You have made some friends from the university, so you could try and strengthen these friendships, by inviting them round for dinner or to watch some sport (rugby, cricket, football etc). You could suggest meeting up over the weekend to study or to go somewhere nice in London: an art gallery, food market or to one of the large parks. Friendships become stronger the more time you invest in them. By spending time with people you can get to know them better, can find out those things that you have in common, can offer encouragement or advice and can build memories.

Finally, there are apps that can help people meet new people in London, so you could try one or two of those.

It’s great that you are being pro-active by joining tennis and snowboarding clubs, as long you have an interest in these activities this should also create opportunities for new friendships.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield

Hi,
I’m afraid that I’m missing out at uni because my university isn’t what I thought it would be. I’m entering third year now.

When I started university I moved in with my dad because he has a flat in London he goes home every weekend Friday to Monday so I’m home alone for 4 days a week and he’s only in the flat 8pm - 6am which should be amazing.

However I think because of this I haven’t had any flatmates and therefore no friends.

My uni isn’t a normal uni we don’t really have a campus it’s more like a college in London North Greenwich. I don’t think the people who study there are my kind of people I have some friends who I made out of pure luck but they don’t like going out and I only really see them at university lectures (by the way I’m only in 2 days a week for 4 hours). I hear stories from my hometown friends of them going out every night and having some amazing crazy stories with their flatmates.

My university doesn’t have any societies with social events even if I wanted to make friends there. I was going to change unis after a terrible first year but before I left I had a chat with my head of year who promised me things were changing, I for some reason believed him and decided to stay another year it was just as bad and I was longing for more friends the entire time.

I’m now entering third year so I feel it’s too late (now early sept) to change unis. As I met up with my friend from home town and she told me what it was like for her which has made me wish I could change.

I’m trying to make the most of London however whenever I go clubbing (which is rare like once a month) I try to make friends but most of the people who are in the club are like 27 or older I’m 20. Plus I find it hard to find a group of friends in a club the musics loud and everyone is wasted so no one will remember each other in the morning.

I’m going to join random London clubs this year like tennis and snowboarding but I’m slightly scarred from clubbing, my job and uni that I still won’t find a decent friend group.

Anyone got any tips a 20 year old student can make other student friends that don’t go to his uni. Thanks

Thanks so much for the great response. I’ll be sure to follow your advice