ok i know theres probably 6 billion questions just like this but they give mixed answers and i need some type of way to alleviate my anxiety 😭
so basically im in year 13 and i live in zone 3 south london and i applied for all london unis: Queens Mary, Greenwich, SOAS, KCL and UCL (but the only ones i only rly care about are KCL and UCL) for many reasons (i dont have the money to move out and live in halls anywhere rly, my friends are all going london unis, my mum is against me moving out) and now im just unsure if i made the right choice or not 😭
The only thing that makes me feel this way is the fact that i fear that ill be missing out on the “university experience” if that makes sense? Like i have a feeling, maybe true maybe not true i dunno that bc im staying at home socially ill just be there like 🧍*♀️ like i wont do anything or have any stories to tell if that makes sense? Id just be there for studying, then out and im sorry but im not paying £27000 for just *that* come on now. And yes i know i can socialise as a commuter and join societies and still make friends and enjoy my time at uni and i 10000% plan on doing that but i dunno if thats enough if that makes sense?
Now dont get me wrong im not trying to live like a euphoria character or whatever, the only things i really would want is to like go to some parties (like maybe once a month or two), clubbing (like once every two weeks), try weed only once or twice ONLY and get a boyfriend (💋) and obviously make good friends. Like im not that ghetto i dont wanna hook up with randos and get stds or whatever that is such a ew thing to do like i dont even know u like that why would ur **** go anywhere near me? And im not about trying molly or drug pussywindX3000 cooked straight from the colombian rainforest im not like that but i do wanna be a lil scandulous 💋😝
BUUUTTTT at the same time the idea of living with a bunch of people and forced to do that for like 3 years makes me wanna rip my hair out and go insane because knowing me id be really social for a few hours then my social battery would deplete and id be really ****ed off and want to be alone and if its always noisy or some **** like that ik im gonna feel very uncomfortable and unhappy. And oh my god there is nothing i hate more than dirty dishes and just living dirty, it send shivers down my spine having to imagine living like that
You see, at home, it’s just me and my mum that lives there, and my mum comes home pretty late so most of the time its just me there, so its not like its a distracting or whatever environment. I still have the opportunity to like grow and gain independence you know cook for myself, clean for myself, do shopping by myself (i do a lot of this stuff already) Like sure maybe its not 100% but i still have the opportunity and i definitely will try to be self sustaining and independent. It’s essentially like one of them private studios with my roommate and that roommate being my mother. Also i get to save money and not go dirt broke and eat moldy bread as my daily meal so yippee 🙏
But im just worried about that one thing. OH and yes i am getting pretty tired of london but the parts im getting tired of are like camberwell or brixton or those kinda places and the unis are in central london aka one of my fav places on earth so its not necessarily the location thats bugging me i mean it kinda is but u get what i mean
So yeah, does anyone have any advice for me i would appreciate it 😭😭 and sorry for writing so much i have a tendency to yap