Has my boyf been watching porn? Again??
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Firstly, stop checking up on him and then you won't feel so bad.
Secondly,follow the general rule that every man watches porn, and you will never be shocked, disappointed or upset because you would expect it.
Thirdly, he loves you, not the women in porn. Some guys (as well as some girls) just suck at imagining sexual things, preferring to have something visual (and the sounds) to aid them while they get off.
Finally, do not control him otherwise that might just push him away. I do not personally see what the big deal is with watching porn, I am sure he is still sexually attracted to you.
Secondly,follow the general rule that every man watches porn, and you will never be shocked, disappointed or upset because you would expect it.
Thirdly, he loves you, not the women in porn. Some guys (as well as some girls) just suck at imagining sexual things, preferring to have something visual (and the sounds) to aid them while they get off.
Finally, do not control him otherwise that might just push him away. I do not personally see what the big deal is with watching porn, I am sure he is still sexually attracted to you.
Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude
I don't like watching porn, I mean what's the point in watching people have sex...when you can have sex yourself, it's just weird :/
you and the OP should hook up! lol
ok so there are boys who dont but its rare and its only a show personality (i wouldnt watch them) but who cares if your BF is? He's never going to get a girl like that anyway but a man can dream
Original post by Colour Me Pretty
I really don't get why some girls have a problem with their boyfriends watching porn. I'd encourage it!
Why would you encourage it btw?
Original post by agolati
Why would you encourage it btw?
Basically because I think it's perfectly healthy and it gives you ideas to incooporate into your own sex life.
Original post by agolati
Why would you encourage it btw?
Because a man who is not watching porn is a man who is ten times more likely to cheat.
OP (and others in that camp): masturbation is completely natural. It is an innate urge. There is nothing at all wrong with it. If he was masturbating and you wanted to have sex and he refused, then that would be a problem; but unless that happens it's really none of your business if he wants to masturbate. And porn is an acceptable way of making masturbation more enjoyable. As others have said, if you ban porn (even typing that annoys me - control freak much?), he's far more likely to lust after girls he actually knows, which is much, much more damaging as he could actually carry out these fantasies, and his acquaintance with them makes it more likely that he might develop emotional feelings for them. If he uses porn, it is purely for sexual gratification, and you seriously need to calm down and get over yourself, otherwise you can fully expect him to lie to you, hide things from you and, eventually, maybe leave you.
Original post by derangedyoshi
Because a man who is not watching porn is a man who is ten times more likely to cheat.
OP (and others in that camp): masturbation is completely natural. It is an innate urge. There is nothing at all wrong with it. If he was masturbating and you wanted to have sex and he refused, then that would be a problem; but unless that happens it's really none of your business if he wants to masturbate. And porn is an acceptable way of making masturbation more enjoyable. As others have said, if you ban porn (even typing that annoys me - control freak much?), he's far more likely to lust after girls he actually knows, which is much, much more damaging as he could actually carry out these fantasies, and his acquaintance with them makes it more likely that he might develop emotional feelings for them. If he uses porn, it is purely for sexual gratification, and you seriously need to calm down and get over yourself, otherwise you can fully expect him to lie to you, hide things from you and, eventually, maybe leave you.
OP (and others in that camp): masturbation is completely natural. It is an innate urge. There is nothing at all wrong with it. If he was masturbating and you wanted to have sex and he refused, then that would be a problem; but unless that happens it's really none of your business if he wants to masturbate. And porn is an acceptable way of making masturbation more enjoyable. As others have said, if you ban porn (even typing that annoys me - control freak much?), he's far more likely to lust after girls he actually knows, which is much, much more damaging as he could actually carry out these fantasies, and his acquaintance with them makes it more likely that he might develop emotional feelings for them. If he uses porn, it is purely for sexual gratification, and you seriously need to calm down and get over yourself, otherwise you can fully expect him to lie to you, hide things from you and, eventually, maybe leave you.
Isn't that suspiciously like blackmail? Let me watch porn or I'll have it off with all and sundry?
To be honest, I think that this is more of a trust issue than anything to do with porn. The OPs partner said he wouldn't watch porn and now apparently he has broken his word and gone back to watching it. If she can't trust him on such a petty little thing then how can she trust him on more serious issues?
The decent thing for him to do would be for him to have said to her that he missed the porn and wanted to keep on viewing it. Then the OP would have the chance to say that she accepted it or she could walk away. But he's just being deceitful at the moment and she's turning into Miss Marple and checking up on him, which is not good for any relationship.
She needs to talk to him but she needs to be aware that the porn may be a deal breaker and she will have to end the relationship.
Original post by Colour Me Pretty
Basically because I think it's perfectly healthy and it gives you ideas to incooporate into your own sex life.
You would have to be a pretty boring and unimaginative person if you think that porn can teach you anything about sex!
lol who doesn't watch porn tbh.
Original post by puddlejumper
You would have to be a pretty boring and unimaginative person if you think that porn can teach you anything about sex!
Where did I say teach? I said it can give you ideas.
I'd say people who are prudes about porn are more likely to be pretty boring and unimaginative in bed.
Original post by Ciel
Why would you ask your boyfriend to promise you something that he couldn't keep anyway?
I never asked him to promise. HE made the promise.
Should of read the chrome incognito warning:
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Original post by OceanSoul
You generalize too much. Just because you are a certain way, it doesn't mean all guys are. And also, thinking that the majority of the guys are like you, doesn't justify your actions.
do you even mmm socialise with guys? do they treat you like "one of the guys?"
guys are visual, it's like saying "do guys like girls"
do you think just because we are in a relationship we stop looking? stop fantasizing? it doesn't not mean we want to leave you for her or prefer her (we may but not always) but rather, we're horny and we wanna see something different.
Original post by puddlejumper
Isn't that suspiciously like blackmail? Let me watch porn or I'll have it off with all and sundry?
Not saying anyone would actually make that threat, but if you are being sexually frustrated then you are undeniably more likely to cheat, and porn - or lack of it - comes into that.
To be honest, I think that this is more of a trust issue than anything to do with porn. The OPs partner said he wouldn't watch porn and now apparently he has broken his word and gone back to watching it. If she can't trust him on such a petty little thing then how can she trust him on more serious issues?
The decent thing for him to do would be for him to have said to her that he missed the porn and wanted to keep on viewing it. Then the OP would have the chance to say that she accepted it or she could walk away. But he's just being deceitful at the moment and she's turning into Miss Marple and checking up on him, which is not good for any relationship.
She needs to talk to him but she needs to be aware that the porn may be a deal breaker and she will have to end the relationship.
The decent thing for him to do would be for him to have said to her that he missed the porn and wanted to keep on viewing it. Then the OP would have the chance to say that she accepted it or she could walk away. But he's just being deceitful at the moment and she's turning into Miss Marple and checking up on him, which is not good for any relationship.
She needs to talk to him but she needs to be aware that the porn may be a deal breaker and she will have to end the relationship.
Tbh I think the thread has drifted away from the OP's problem, so I was really just trying to contribute to the debate in general. Regarding the OP, I think it's her fault he lied (to some extent). Yes, I agree that the boyfriend should have stood up to her, but at the end of the day he was just trying not to upset her (after all, she wouldn't even have known if she hadn't been snooping around on his computer) and she was the one making a ridiculous demand. She must have been deluded if she thought he wouldn't watch porn.
Has anyone seen the episode of Friends called "The One With the Free Porn?" Rachel tells the guys that Joshua (her boyfriend) doesn't watch porn. The guys ask "Did he say that the dialogue was corny, and he finds it funny rather than sexy?" to which the answer is yes. They say " yeah, he watches porn".
There is nothing wrong with it and for the OP to ask her boyfriend to give it up just to appease her own insecurities is not a good idea.
Okay, I'm sorry but everyone is missing the point. I NEVER asked my boyfriend to stop watching it, yeah I have a problem with it, but HE said he would and HE promised. I never asked him to stop and I never made him promise? My problem is he promised, but carried on. He didn't keep to his word.
why do you care? it is just some male fantasy. Its not real and he isnt exactly going to run off with the girl on the screen..
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, a lot of you probably don't have an issue with porn being watched in your relationships, but in mine I do, due to other insecurities, but I'm not going to go into that, I just need a little help from someone?
Right, well like a month ago now I guess, I found some pages from a site in his history (before you ask, no i wasn't snooping, I was looking for some info on a holiday we have looked at earlier that week). When I saw it I felt sick, and it really got to me, he promised he wouldn't do it again, I trusted him. But here's the thing, on a site, you have to confirm you are over 18 to enter this site right? As I tried it on my laptop, and I know when I went on it his I didn't have to confirm I was 18 as he already had. On mine I confirmed I was over 18 too. Anyways, a few weeks later all his previous history had gone off of his laptop and it only showed up to a week ago. The same with mine, but this time when I tried to go on a site from my laptop it asked me once again if I was 18, however when I tried on his, I didn't have to confirm anything, It just took me straight to the main page, does this mean he's been on it and just deleted the history? You'll probably think I'm looking into it too far, but I don't want him to think he can get away with going behind my back... Can anyone explain? Guys? If you use the site, what happens for you?
Right, well like a month ago now I guess, I found some pages from a site in his history (before you ask, no i wasn't snooping, I was looking for some info on a holiday we have looked at earlier that week). When I saw it I felt sick, and it really got to me, he promised he wouldn't do it again, I trusted him. But here's the thing, on a site, you have to confirm you are over 18 to enter this site right? As I tried it on my laptop, and I know when I went on it his I didn't have to confirm I was 18 as he already had. On mine I confirmed I was over 18 too. Anyways, a few weeks later all his previous history had gone off of his laptop and it only showed up to a week ago. The same with mine, but this time when I tried to go on a site from my laptop it asked me once again if I was 18, however when I tried on his, I didn't have to confirm anything, It just took me straight to the main page, does this mean he's been on it and just deleted the history? You'll probably think I'm looking into it too far, but I don't want him to think he can get away with going behind my back... Can anyone explain? Guys? If you use the site, what happens for you?
clingy bitch
Original post by Anonymous
I never asked him to promise. HE made the promise.
it's just like that one time you promised your mom you would remember to do the dishes this time
Original post by brionysmith
why do you care? it is just some male fantasy. Its not real and he isnt exactly going to run off with the girl on the screen..
Okay, if it's so harmless why are so many girls now shaving their frontals? Because that is what boys expect because that is what they see on porn. So girls are being made to feel that unless their bodies fit up to the expectation of a lad who is reared on porn then they are inadequate.
No-one is claiming that it is rational to believe this way, but when a guy asks why you haven't shaved, as his only experience is from watching porn, then it kind of makes you think, is porn so harmless? And for the record, I was that girl and I was his first!
Just ask yourself what expectations you have of a guy and how do you feel when he doesn't meet up to your expectations.
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