Anonymous 29, I think it's important to find a confidant. Someone you know and trust. Perhaps it's your mum or dad, maybe a close friend. Someone who can understand your means and methods. But you also need a third party. Someone who doesn't know you at a personal level - like for example, someone on this forum! Together, when you state your issues and problems, you'll find you get a good insight into why these people believe you've found yourself in the situation... but I MUST state first and foremost - you NEED... NEED to tell someone. You MUST say to someone.
By releasing your anxieties to someone else you will learn to vocalise your problems and scrutinise them in a way that internally, you may not have. But the problem is of course taking step one, and that's telling the very first person.
It's difficult, nay- Seemingly IMPOSSIBLE to consider at first, but trust me, your problems are by no means silly or worthless. You deserve, just as much as any other individual, the right to voice your thoughts and fears and nothing ED-related should be viewed irrational.
Please PM me if you need to take the first step and talk in-depth.
Anonymous 50, I am extraordinarily flattered and now have a face resembling pickled beetroot.