Depression Society MKVI

I'm too shy

but thanks for the offer

Shy?

I'm the shyest person in quite possibly the entire world.

d'aww.

Can't make any promises but I'll do my best to stay safe. Hope you're ok.



I'm trying to get things sorted short-term until I see the psychiatrist, just nobody from uni/NHS seems overly keen to help me.



Sorry to be worrying everyone. I will endeavour to eat more food though.







Dunno to all questions - attempting to find out more (please reply to email as soon as you can).



If at all possible I think you should go private. This is seriously important, and it's ****ing disgusting that they want you to wait six weeks. If you can't go private then try going to A&E at another hospital.

No. No, Lecturer Who I've Barely Spoken To In Person And Is Fond Of Sending Pithy Emails, I can't explain over the internet why you don't have my essay yet. I wouldn't even like to discuss it to your face either but emails scare the bejesus out of me

I'm sorry guys.

I just got off the phone with them, it was good to talk to someone, I'm feeling a bit calmer now and have moved everything sharp and all my pills to the kitchen so at least I have to think before I can do anything. Think I acted like a right retard on the phone, had to keep getting them to repeat stuff as I can hardly hear anything but they were very understanding. If I get through this weekend I'm going to go back to the GP and ask them to do something. I really can't deal with this.



a "wise man"? Took me far too long to work out who you were on about

You made me smile at least.





I spoke to a relative in the US who works at an opticians, she said it's vitally important that I get seen as soon as possible so I have no idea what they're playing at with 6 weeks. There's an emergency eye department at a hospital 30minutes away so, again if I get through this, I'm going to go on monday. Hopefully they would see me although I can imagine them coming up with some excuse not to.

Thanks for the offer but they close at 4, by the time I get the taxi and get there they'll probably be closed or send me off for arriving too late. As much as it pains me to I'm going to wait until monday. Hopefully I would be in better shape by then because right now I'm more likely to cry and run out into the road than sit still and have my eyes tested. I think just stay here safe in my room and try not to think about offing myself. Maybe drink the cider, **** the diet.

d'aww.

Why not go now?



What! What kind of emergency clinic closes at 4!

In regards to cider, given my earlier point, if drinking/losing the diet for the weekend will help you survive it - then lesser evil and all.

I'm not allowed to wrestle you again. The friction burn on my ankle from last time took about 4 weeks to heal.

Yep, 4pm and not open at weekends either. Lazy ****s.

Yeah, it hurts me but **** the diet I need to stay safe, alcohol helps. Still feeling fairly fragile, I'm out of milk but too scared to go to sainsbury's. Maybe if I drink enough I'll get the guts to go. Hmmm...

And me? sensible? I think you're confusing me with someone else.

Thanks!
I can imagine that being frustrating! I remember I used to have the odd night where it would take me ages to get to sleep and it was awful. I've heard the waking up early being a common thing with depression. I don't know if you've tried things like drinking a cup of hot milk. Don't know whether they actually work but might be worth a shot anyway. Hope tonight goes better for you!

7 warning points? Never knew you were such a rebel.

Saber is so sensible as well, completely unlike me and Superwolf!

x

I decided I was strong and okay enough to look at my ex/ex-friend FB.

Flatmate's making a formal complaint against me. Tempting to make one against her as well, for bullying, but one incident probably isn't enough for that...

Flatmate's making a formal complaint against me. Tempting to make one against her as well, for bullying, but one incident probably isn't enough for that...

Hmm, I don't know - could be worth a try?

How you doing?

I am really really really not doing good. Making all kinds of plans which somehow I don't think you'd approve of...

I am really really really not doing good. Making all kinds of plans which somehow I don't think you'd approve of...

Wasn't too bad last night. Took me a while to get to sleep but didn't wake up during the night. Woke up early too but it's not so bad on weekdays, gives me more time to psych myself to get out of bed.

Friends were great today, I was never on my own and there was always someone to have a casual conversation with. Obviously it's so much better than being on my own but I can't help but feel low when I'm with people too. Although when I am with people, I'm not concentrating on my mood which is good.

I handed in the piece of homework I had only did a bit of and my teacher wasn't at all bothered. He gave me extra time and even explained the questions for me. In another lesson only 4 of us out of the entire class had done the homework so we were sent out of the room while the head of department screamed at the rest of the class. Glad I did it now.

We had an assembly this morning about how close we are to leaving and how hard it is to get a job. Cue me trying not to cry in the assembly and most of period 1. There's so many people who are better than me so I don't see why I'm ever going to get to where I want to be. It all seems to pointless. Also clicked that me not concentrating = bad results = worse A level results = no university = loneliness = me feeling worse = being worse at any job I happen to have, whether it's the job I want or not. Seems like I'm thinking too far into the future but that's inevitably going to happen.



Sorry for the essay! How are you?