Hi,
Over the past year I've been struggling with depression. The issue is, when I want to go to the doctor, I start to feel fine for a few weeks - even feel amazing about life and love everything.
Suddenly this stops, and I hate everything and am plunged back in to depression - I practically go from full optimistic to total pessimist, and its ruining my life. Suddenly I want to climb mountains and other times I've been very close to suicide - oddly enough, I've become aware of the cycle and know I will feel better soon; I genuinely have no control over it.
I didn't manage to focus in my A-Level exams and probably completely underachieved for the second half. I don't feel I can tell my parents because I know they'll just shrug it off, say its a phase, or ask how I feel in a few days. They always like to delay things, and I know I cant convince the doctor I'm feeling depressed when I'm in my happy state, and often at this time I shrug it off myself.
Is this regular? Or something other than depression, like a personality disorder?
Is it too late to go to the doctors and ask for the special circumstances allowance for my exams? Can any medicine really help disorders like this?
I'm also really scared about how being defined as depressed will affect me and those around me.
Thank you for your time, and I'm sorry for being a bit sporadic.