Crazy university stories!!
Okay, so it's that time of year again where people are starting university and after reading a few threads on here, I can see that a lot of people are quite nervous about making friends, Freshers Week, etc. So to help those guys and girls look forward to it even more, everyone should post their wildest, craziest and downright weird stories from their time at uni here 
It would also be fun to read for the rest of us who are already at uni or aren't going 
I'll start.
A housemate bought a gecko on impulse. Pets aren't allowed and it ended up costing him £150 for tank and equipment. Landlord never found out.
Also, watching one of my long-haired housemates whip his hair back and forth to Willow Smith. He was subsequently thrown out of the club. Funniest thing ever.
Take it away!
It would also be fun to read for the rest of us who are already at uni or aren't going I'll start.
A housemate bought a gecko on impulse. Pets aren't allowed and it ended up costing him £150 for tank and equipment. Landlord never found out.
Also, watching one of my long-haired housemates whip his hair back and forth to Willow Smith. He was subsequently thrown out of the club. Funniest thing ever.
Take it away!
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Fresher week cross dressing night for one of the three colleges that had exclusive access to one of the clubs that night.
27 separate occasions people genuinely thought I was female. My housemate said he almost hit on me twice. On the bus back I generally kept quiet till towards the end where I said something and the girl sitting opposite me screaming because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I also got thrown into a pond just after winter.
Massive jaeger trains in kitchens (longest one was about 180, just shy of 200 I think)
27 separate occasions people genuinely thought I was female. My housemate said he almost hit on me twice. On the bus back I generally kept quiet till towards the end where I said something and the girl sitting opposite me screaming because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I also got thrown into a pond just after winter.
Massive jaeger trains in kitchens (longest one was about 180, just shy of 200 I think)
having anal with my tutor in the middle of a seminar
weird shizzle
weird shizzle
Had a ridiculously drunken night out. One person was fairly sober so remembered it. The other 4 of us passed out in a club.. passed out on the way home, twice, too. Took us 4 hours to do a 15 minute walk. Woke up the next gafternoon.. in each others shirts (but the rest was ours).. with all our mattresses in our flats living room space .. with black ops on the xbox (with a **** score lol) and with a sofa, a traffic cone, a for sale sign, a trolley, two plants , three bra's (bra's weren't from people staying over) and some random dude from a flat downstairs in our flat.
We went out that night purposely trying to do a 'Hangover' night, it worked.
Not really had any other crazy nights, all other stories i could tell are fairly normal drunken stories that many people will have.
We went out that night purposely trying to do a 'Hangover' night, it worked.
Not really had any other crazy nights, all other stories i could tell are fairly normal drunken stories that many people will have.
Original post by Tommyjw
Had a ridiculously drunken night out. One person was fairly sober so remembered it. The other 4 of us passed out in a club.. passed out on the way home, twice, too. Took us 4 hours to do a 15 minute walk. Woke up the next gafternoon.. in each others shirts (but the rest was ours).. with all our mattresses in our flats living room space .. with black ops on the xbox (with a **** score lol) and with a sofa, a traffic cone, a for sale sign, a trolley, two plants , three bra's (bra's weren't from people staying over) and some random dude from a flat downstairs in our flat.
We went out that night purposely trying to do a 'Hangover' night, it worked.
Not really had any other crazy nights, all other stories i could tell are fairly normal drunken stories that many people will have.
We went out that night purposely trying to do a 'Hangover' night, it worked.
Not really had any other crazy nights, all other stories i could tell are fairly normal drunken stories that many people will have.
Holy **** man, that's quite a drunken story you got there 
Quiet night in as coursework submission was the next day, obviously facebook is on in the background. One of my flat mates pops up on chat saying "I'm really scared, there's some strange noises coming from outside our door.. can you come check it out?" So I got out and opened the door. Turns out it was one of our other flatmates, half conscious and talking to the door.
Original post by Iain 815
Mine would be the usual affairs, but some things warrant a mention:
I was so drunk once, no memory of the night before, I was told the next morning that at one point I thought I was part of the Dharma Initiative and was running around saying that we need to go back in time and save the world. I did love Lost.
Other incidents include running around a night club pretending my phone was a gun, shooting bouncers.
I was so drunk once, no memory of the night before, I was told the next morning that at one point I thought I was part of the Dharma Initiative and was running around saying that we need to go back in time and save the world. I did love Lost.
Other incidents include running around a night club pretending my phone was a gun, shooting bouncers.
Yes! Just yes! +rep for you sir.
Original post by Iain 815
Other incidents include running around a night club pretending my phone was a gun, shooting bouncers.
Other incidents include running around a night club pretending my phone was a gun, shooting bouncers.
Seen a guy doing that once with his wallet.
Didn't end well for him though
We were playing corridor cricket with an exercise ball when someone got over confident and hit it into the roof ( ground floor flat ). The tiles on the ceiling were like polystyrene and popped in and out. Well when the ball hit the tile a pair of boxers fell out ... God knows how they got there or how long they'd been there haha
Having a flat party of ~50 people which somehow digressed to a broccoli fight.. broccoli in hair, broccoli up nose, and a hell of a lot of broccoli in the carpet.
Me and my bf getting suitably plastered on cheap ass wine to, at the fine hour 7am, decide it would be a good idea to drag his mattress out in to the corridor and do you-know-what.. in the corridor.. and then I woke up for work an hour later. Smashing night.
Watching my friend get off her tits on ketamine, proceed to show her tits to some poor 15 year old boy on chat roulette, and then made a valiant effort at walking up a wall.
neg rep? haters gonna hate etc
Me and my bf getting suitably plastered on cheap ass wine to, at the fine hour 7am, decide it would be a good idea to drag his mattress out in to the corridor and do you-know-what.. in the corridor.. and then I woke up for work an hour later. Smashing night.
Watching my friend get off her tits on ketamine, proceed to show her tits to some poor 15 year old boy on chat roulette, and then made a valiant effort at walking up a wall.
neg rep? haters gonna hate etc
(edited 12 years ago)
Day 1 of uni. Had just enjoyed a meal with the people living on my staircase. We go off to get ready for a party. I go to open the door to my room and the doorknob falls out into my hand in its entirety. After several tries I come to the conclusion that the door no longer locks properly without a doorknob and gets severely stuck when opening it, so I have to sit there with a chair propping my door open for the rest of the night waiting for the porters to come fix it while everyone else goes off to party.
To make it worse, about 10 minutes later a fuse blew and the lights in my room and the room next door turned off so I literally spent my first night sitting in almost total darkness all alone.
To make it worse, about 10 minutes later a fuse blew and the lights in my room and the room next door turned off so I literally spent my first night sitting in almost total darkness all alone.
One night I had been drinking heavily all evening, felt drunk but fine. Went to the toilet and as I returned to my seat I felt really weird and collapsed a few moments later, and two of my mates held me up as we walked home. The room was spinning and I couldn't lie still and I threw up in my bin with a small amount hitting the bedsheets (you have to understand I was too dizzy to get to the toilet 
). However, I was so violently sick that I woke up the following day feeling absolutely perfect like it had never happened; no hangover and I felt refreshed and really good 
(My friends to this day think it was likely a spiked drink - that has never happened before or since even when I had drunk way more than that)
Another time, I went out to some union event with a friend and we ended up playing beer pong. That ended pretty badly. We ended up back in his room in halls and I can remember leaving his room pretty much immediately and rushing back to mine because I felt so ill, but he's adamant we played through a whole season of WWE Warzone on the PS2
(we had been playing it sober in the days beforehand) before I left although he didn't have the save file to prove it. That is one of the very few nights out where I genuinely can't form an exact picture of what I got up to
Aside from lots of irresponsible drinking, and the night when my housemate thought I'd been murdered (
), these are the more salient of my drink-addled memories 
). However, I was so violently sick that I woke up the following day feeling absolutely perfect like it had never happened; no hangover and I felt refreshed and really good (My friends to this day think it was likely a spiked drink - that has never happened before or since even when I had drunk way more than that)Another time, I went out to some union event with a friend and we ended up playing beer pong. That ended pretty badly. We ended up back in his room in halls and I can remember leaving his room pretty much immediately and rushing back to mine because I felt so ill, but he's adamant we played through a whole season of WWE Warzone on the PS2
(we had been playing it sober in the days beforehand) before I left although he didn't have the save file to prove it. That is one of the very few nights out where I genuinely can't form an exact picture of what I got up to Aside from lots of irresponsible drinking, and the night when my housemate thought I'd been murdered (
), these are the more salient of my drink-addled memories 
Original post by RollerBall
All in all, an excellent night (morning). I still have a scan and the original copy of my answer sheet as a souvenir.
Well come on, don't leave us hanging.
Original post by Obadetona
I heard that one guy went to uni and DIDN'T get laid!
I feel sorry for you
Original post by Iain 815
Well come on, don't leave us hanging.
I posted it in the medic forum somewhere. I'll dig it out if people really want to see it.
Cant. Wait.
In London and getting pretty drunk round Kings X area, forever alone and starting to feel horny. Got stopped by this girl as I was walking (weaving) to the next pub and she offered me sex for £20. Told her I only had a tenner, she made a face but must have been desperate as she nodded ok. Led me into this dark lane like a garage for taxis or something and started sucking me off, got me hard and turned round, hands on knees, knickers pulled to one side. No condom btw.
Just as I was trying to slip it in (insert comma here) some huge bald black guy with a beard appears at the end of the lane and starts walking in towards us. I instantly lose said erection and am thinking, 'Here we go!' Wondering if I have the sobriety to kick him in the balls and leg it before my blood is all over the deck.
We stop, she tells me it's ok he's a friend. I'm not really reassured but he just tries to score some dope of her. And he nods a polite greeting to me like there's absolutely nothing strange about the situation.. Cut a long story short we end up at his flat, he takes the tenner to get some grass and the girl and I have sex. He comes back and we all smoke a joint with the stuff he got from my tenner. I've often wondered if she ever managed to make any money.
Just as I was trying to slip it in (insert comma here) some huge bald black guy with a beard appears at the end of the lane and starts walking in towards us. I instantly lose said erection and am thinking, 'Here we go!' Wondering if I have the sobriety to kick him in the balls and leg it before my blood is all over the deck.
We stop, she tells me it's ok he's a friend. I'm not really reassured but he just tries to score some dope of her. And he nods a polite greeting to me like there's absolutely nothing strange about the situation.. Cut a long story short we end up at his flat, he takes the tenner to get some grass and the girl and I have sex. He comes back and we all smoke a joint with the stuff he got from my tenner. I've often wondered if she ever managed to make any money.
Not a crazy uni story (All in good time, don't start till Sept 
). I've got a bit of a rep for being a lightweight and getting very very wasted.
I've no memory of this, but apparently I came home totally steaming one night, crawled up the stairs whilst talking drunken jibberish. I couldn't stand up so kept falling over on the landing as I was trying to undress myself, fell over in just my underwear and started crying because "I couldn't find my nipple". I must have meant I couldn't find my t shirt that I sleep in lol. Quite embarrassing even now haha
The craziest one was when I was at Glastonbury this year and I errr...accidentally downed a bottle of Disaronno and a pint of brothers in the space of about an hour and a half. BIG mistake. I still have zero memory of from about 5pm until 8am the next morning
I woke up the next morning in my 2 mate's tent (they are a couple) and none of us had any idea how I got there from my tent. I was half dressed, with a hair full of dry mud. I was then shown pictures of when I slipped over and did a backwards faceplant in the mud, and when I was being violently sick at the info point, and was greeted by randomers throughout the day who remembered my drunkenness, but I had no memory of meeting/seeing/speaking to them. I apparently also slapped my ex bf who was there so hard across the face he nearly fell over! Possibly the only thing I wish I could remember! Oh and the best part? No hangover the next day! Win
I now drink amaretto in moderation
). I've got a bit of a rep for being a lightweight and getting very very wasted.I've no memory of this, but apparently I came home totally steaming one night, crawled up the stairs whilst talking drunken jibberish. I couldn't stand up so kept falling over on the landing as I was trying to undress myself, fell over in just my underwear and started crying because "I couldn't find my nipple". I must have meant I couldn't find my t shirt that I sleep in lol. Quite embarrassing even now haha
The craziest one was when I was at Glastonbury this year and I errr...accidentally downed a bottle of Disaronno and a pint of brothers in the space of about an hour and a half. BIG mistake. I still have zero memory of from about 5pm until 8am the next morning
I woke up the next morning in my 2 mate's tent (they are a couple) and none of us had any idea how I got there from my tent. I was half dressed, with a hair full of dry mud. I was then shown pictures of when I slipped over and did a backwards faceplant in the mud, and when I was being violently sick at the info point, and was greeted by randomers throughout the day who remembered my drunkenness, but I had no memory of meeting/seeing/speaking to them. I apparently also slapped my ex bf who was there so hard across the face he nearly fell over! Possibly the only thing I wish I could remember! Oh and the best part? No hangover the next day! Win I now drink amaretto in moderation
The worst night I had last year was when my housemates walked home from the club to find me basically lying in my own sick outside our front door while being dressed as an oompa lumpa. We went out for Halloween and I just absolutely wasted too early, ended up getting chucked out of the club and stumbling home, but I didn't take my key as my housemate told me I wouldn't need it (why didn't my housemates follow, you tell me). Woke everyone in my phonebook up that night, made like 82 calls if I remember correctly, some interesting stories about what I was like on the phone as well. Bad times.
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