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Depression Society MKVI
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Hi all, I'm a new member looking for advice/opinions.
I'm 18 (going on 19) and have been out of education for almost 2 years now. I applied to university in October and I'm still waiting for replies from both of my local universities. It's driving me crazy and I'm getting extremely anxious about my future. Both ask for ABBB (Scottish Highers) on their websites but I only have BBBBB.
I have a history of depression which first started to complicate my life when I was 16 and is one of the reasons (along with family issues) that I left school after 5th year. I found it very difficult to push myself and apply for 2011 entry and wound up missing the deadline. I don't know if anyone else will have experienced this but I find it quite difficult to commit to things and often have fleeting enthusiasm for subjects/hobbies which subsides after a while, so I felt pushed to settle on and commit to a 4 year course. Now I'm desperate to get into the course I chose (after much contemplation) and have no doubts that it's what I want to study. I'm so worried about being rejected that I can't concentrate on anything else.
My mum - who is pretty unstable - laid a lot of emphasis on the importance of higher education and I don't want to disappoint her or myself.
I guess what I'd like to know is whether there are any others with similar experiences (e.g. people who left school to sort their head out and managed to get into university after a few years)
Apologies for the size of this post!
I'm 18 (going on 19) and have been out of education for almost 2 years now. I applied to university in October and I'm still waiting for replies from both of my local universities. It's driving me crazy and I'm getting extremely anxious about my future. Both ask for ABBB (Scottish Highers) on their websites but I only have BBBBB.
I have a history of depression which first started to complicate my life when I was 16 and is one of the reasons (along with family issues) that I left school after 5th year. I found it very difficult to push myself and apply for 2011 entry and wound up missing the deadline. I don't know if anyone else will have experienced this but I find it quite difficult to commit to things and often have fleeting enthusiasm for subjects/hobbies which subsides after a while, so I felt pushed to settle on and commit to a 4 year course. Now I'm desperate to get into the course I chose (after much contemplation) and have no doubts that it's what I want to study. I'm so worried about being rejected that I can't concentrate on anything else.
My mum - who is pretty unstable - laid a lot of emphasis on the importance of higher education and I don't want to disappoint her or myself.
I guess what I'd like to know is whether there are any others with similar experiences (e.g. people who left school to sort their head out and managed to get into university after a few years)
Apologies for the size of this post!
Original post by _AH
Hey, I'm a new user here, although I've been a lurker for quite a while (infact, I'm almost certain I had an old account signed up, but don't).
Is there anyone who I can talk 1 to 1 with either by PMs here or on Skype (in my profile)? It's nothing extreme or really out of the ordinary... I just don't feel like talking about it to a large group of people at first I don't know at first. Preferably I'd like to talk to someone who has suffered from depression before (thankfully it looks like I'm in the right place
!), either in the past or now.
A massive thank you to anyone who is willing to take the time to talk to me, I appreciate it very much, especially with any experiences that you are able to talk about
Is there anyone who I can talk 1 to 1 with either by PMs here or on Skype (in my profile)? It's nothing extreme or really out of the ordinary... I just don't feel like talking about it to a large group of people at first I don't know at first. Preferably I'd like to talk to someone who has suffered from depression before (thankfully it looks like I'm in the right place
!), either in the past or now.A massive thank you to anyone who is willing to take the time to talk to me, I appreciate it very much, especially with any experiences that you are able to talk about
Send me a PM and I can add you to my Skype if you want
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you
I get what you mean
When are you seeing your counsellor/mentor next?
Results were alright, apart from one E Considering how I was feeling throughout them, they're good but I know they could have reen better.
Mood has been quite low today but I've been strangely chatty. I think I might have got caught up in all the excitement of results day.
I get what you mean
When are you seeing your counsellor/mentor next?Results were alright, apart from one E
Considering how I was feeling throughout them, they're good but I know they could have reen better.Mood has been quite low today but I've been strangely chatty. I think I might have got caught up in all the excitement of results day.
Not sure. Had last counselling session yesterday. The mental health advisor said he would contact me once he had recieved the gp's letter. Worried it has got lost as that has happened before, don't know whether to chase it up or just wait. Counsellor said he was hoping for the mentoring to start as soon as possible as there isn't much of the semester left.
Well done! Glad they turned out alright.
Hope you feel better soon.
Ooooops... looks like I missed a DSO appointment this week. Can't even remember what it was for though. 
Thanks for letting us know.
You're doing the right things making appointments with a counsellor and your GP. Unfortunately it's not always clear what the causes of depression are, but like littleshambles says a combination of both antidepressants and therapy taken together has been shown to often be the most effective means of treatment. If you're interested in CBT say, you might want to check out this website, which offers a free online CBT course, as NHS waiting lists can be utterly ridiculous.
I'd also advise telling your uni about how you're faring (if you haven't already). Especially once you've got medical evidence (e.g. doctor's note) they can be really accommodating to any difficulties you might have studying, and can also help you apply for DSA, which can help fund your getting things like a mentor, specialist equipment, stuff like that.
But then you'd have no need of anti-flying pills!
Any alternative means of transportation you could use, like bus/bike/taxi?
Hypnosis can cure warts.
And I submit that you're suffering from brain warts.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Original post by Nut.
35mm_ just texted me to say that she's being sectioned and will be at the hosital in around an hours time. I've given her all our best. She just didn't want anyone to worry when she stops posting for a while, because she's not sure if she'll be allowed her phone or not.
Thanks for letting us know.Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I'm new to this society (going anon since quite a few people IRL know this account I'm using currently)
I'm in uni, second year and have a bit of a dilemma and thought you guys could help, since you have most likely been through something similar.
I had really bad ED nduring sixth form, so I took a gap year before entering university hoping for recovery and "a fresh start". Then as soon as I started uni, I dealt with quite a few deaths of relatives and I guess what made it worse was that it was the first time someone I knew died and I didn't know how to deal with it.
I didn't attend any lectures because of my anxiety, even if I tried as soon as I walk in, I would walk back out of the lecture theatre because I would feel trapped. Tutorials were even worse (smaller room etc.) - ok, so you probably know what's next, I just about passed my first year :/
In second year what I've done is get my friends to record the lectures and I go through them at home, so this way I can somewhat keep up with uni work. I do as much as I can on my good days, but on my bad days, I rarely even get out of bed. Getting up before 4pm and showering is an achievement for me nowadays, which is so different from the person I used to be years ago.
So I've decided to get help, but I'm not sure how to go about it... I've made an appointment with my uni counsellor, so scared I don't know what to expect and I'm also going home soon to see my G.P. Now I have not been diagnosed with depression, but I'm pretty sure I am depressed and I want to find out whether it's because of chemical imbalance in my brain, or because of my past. If it's the latter, I rather seek therap instead of taking medication, what do you think?
I'm in uni, second year and have a bit of a dilemma and thought you guys could help, since you have most likely been through something similar.
I had really bad ED nduring sixth form, so I took a gap year before entering university hoping for recovery and "a fresh start". Then as soon as I started uni, I dealt with quite a few deaths of relatives and I guess what made it worse was that it was the first time someone I knew died and I didn't know how to deal with it.
I didn't attend any lectures because of my anxiety, even if I tried as soon as I walk in, I would walk back out of the lecture theatre because I would feel trapped. Tutorials were even worse (smaller room etc.) - ok, so you probably know what's next, I just about passed my first year :/
In second year what I've done is get my friends to record the lectures and I go through them at home, so this way I can somewhat keep up with uni work. I do as much as I can on my good days, but on my bad days, I rarely even get out of bed. Getting up before 4pm and showering is an achievement for me nowadays, which is so different from the person I used to be years ago.
So I've decided to get help, but I'm not sure how to go about it... I've made an appointment with my uni counsellor, so scared I don't know what to expect and I'm also going home soon to see my G.P. Now I have not been diagnosed with depression, but I'm pretty sure I am depressed and I want to find out whether it's because of chemical imbalance in my brain, or because of my past. If it's the latter, I rather seek therap instead of taking medication, what do you think?
You're doing the right things making appointments with a counsellor and your GP. Unfortunately it's not always clear what the causes of depression are, but like littleshambles says a combination of both antidepressants and therapy taken together has been shown to often be the most effective means of treatment. If you're interested in CBT say, you might want to check out this website, which offers a free online CBT course, as NHS waiting lists can be utterly ridiculous.
I'd also advise telling your uni about how you're faring (if you haven't already). Especially once you've got medical evidence (e.g. doctor's note) they can be really accommodating to any difficulties you might have studying, and can also help you apply for DSA, which can help fund your getting things like a mentor, specialist equipment, stuff like that.
Original post by Sabertooth
I have the power of anti-sleep! All things considered it's a pretty sucky power, I'd prefer if I could fly then I'd never have to get on a plane again.
The gym/swimming pool is 3 miles away, I have considered trying to do that but always give up when faced with a 3 mile walk there and back.
I am laughing my ass off at your idea. Hypnosis isn't real so it's obviously not going to work.
I'm hoping the quetiapine helps eventually, I'm still on a low dose as I'm tapering it, so hopefully once I hit higher doses it will knock me out.
The gym/swimming pool is 3 miles away, I have considered trying to do that but always give up when faced with a 3 mile walk there and back.
I am laughing my ass off at your idea. Hypnosis isn't real so it's obviously not going to work.
I'm hoping the quetiapine helps eventually, I'm still on a low dose as I'm tapering it, so hopefully once I hit higher doses it will knock me out.But then you'd have no need of anti-flying pills!
Any alternative means of transportation you could use, like bus/bike/taxi?
Hypnosis can cure warts.
And I submit that you're suffering from brain warts.Original post by Sockhead
Felt like I've been in a dream all day today
Results have thrown a major spanner into the works, and I come home to find out my grandpa passed away
Surreal day or what -.-
Results have thrown a major spanner into the works, and I come home to find out my grandpa passed away
Surreal day or what -.-
Sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Original post by 35mm_
Going to my appointment in a bizzle. Will let you all know how it went when I get back; IF I get back, that is.
Original post by Nut.
35mm_ just texted me to say that she's being sectioned and will be at the hosital in around an hours time. I've given her all our best. She just didn't want anyone to worry when she stops posting for a while, because she's not sure if she'll be allowed her phone or not.
Hope you get better soom 35mm!
And Nut, thanks for telling us
.Done my homework 
. Now for tomorrow .
. Now for tomorrow .Original post by Sockhead
Felt like I've been in a dream all day today
Results have thrown a major spanner into the works, and I come home to find out my grandpa passed away
Surreal day or what -.-
Results have thrown a major spanner into the works, and I come home to find out my grandpa passed away
Surreal day or what -.-
Sorry to hear about your grandadThings have taken a turn for the worse. My friend has just told me that she wants to kill herself 
. She doesn't know how much that would hurt everyone.
. She doesn't know how much that would hurt everyone.(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by avhhs
Things have taken a turn for the worse. My friend has just told me that she wants to kill herself . She doesn't know how much that would hurt everyone.
. She doesn't know how much that would hurt everyone. I hope everything turns out fine for your friend.Original post by 35mm_
Going to my appointment in a bizzle. Will let you all know how it went when I get back; IF I get back, that is.
I hope you get better soon
Really sad to hear about 35mm_, hope she'll be okay
In other news, today hasn't been much better in terms of my mood. Got close to seriously hurting myself again. Called the urgent line and they told me to come into hospital to get assessed, but I didn't go, so just home now feeling so dark and unsupported. I feel so alone
In other news, today hasn't been much better in terms of my mood. Got close to seriously hurting myself again. Called the urgent line and they told me to come into hospital to get assessed, but I didn't go, so just home now feeling so dark and unsupported. I feel so alone
Original post by superwolf
x
Thank you.
I managed to get into uni today (and I'm still here... managed to get a couple of people from compsoc to help me get started with my program.) I've been feeling like I'm going to burst into tears every 5 minutes, ALL DAY.
My housemates are angels, I mean, sometimes I need my space (they are also my friendship group, so I'm with them practically 24/7), but they're always there for me. I like the tv idea - I think I might ask them to watch Doctor Who or Lost with me or something. I have a tv in my room that I use for dvds and games and such so that would be a nice idea.
Food: I like eating rubbish but I'm trying to be more healthy lately (and lose a bit of weight in the process.. probably not a good idea if I'm trying to keep my energy up but gah.) I bought some bananas yesterday so I'm just trying to eat those. In fact I think that's all I've had today.
I do have a supply of green & blacks if I'm desperate. And a 1kg lindt chocolate bunny from last easter that needs to be eaten. 
Work: Last year I was more open but I felt like I was taking advantage a bit. I haven't asked for any extensions this year but I'm really considering it now. I started my lab report early but I've just been lumped with another set of problems due in for the same day, I have an application for a summer programme to do and seminars: all for next week. My tutor knows what's happening (though he annoys me a bit, he thinks medication can solve everything.
) and I believe the department is aware but I might let them know again.I think I will go swimming tomorrow evening. I know how much it helps me.
Thank you ever so much. Have a good evening and hope things are going well for you.
(I will stop being so 'me me me' soon, promise. 
)Original post by Webberino
Not sure. Had last counselling session yesterday. The mental health advisor said he would contact me once he had recieved the gp's letter. Worried it has got lost as that has happened before, don't know whether to chase it up or just wait. Counsellor said he was hoping for the mentoring to start as soon as possible as there isn't much of the semester left.
Well done! Glad they turned out alright.
Hope you feel better soon.
Well done! Glad they turned out alright.
Hope you feel better soon.
If it doesn't come soon you should definitely chase it up, don't want to miss out on the mentoring.
Thanks
College interview was OK I think. Was nearly crying waiting to go in, I always seem to get tearful when I'm at colleges. I'm so paranoid about people looking at me, I have genuinely never seen anyone bad-looking there and then I turn up. Glanced to the side of me and someone was actually looking at me, could feel myself burning up.
But when I went into the interview it went great. I need 8 A's to get onto a Medicine Honours Programme which is basically a support group that helps you with BMAT, UKCAT and other application stuff. It's something to aim for at least. My mum is really excited about it for some reason so I'm just worried about disappointing her.
Original post by ViceVersa
Really sad to hear about 35mm_, hope she'll be okay
In other news, today hasn't been much better in terms of my mood. Got close to seriously hurting myself again. Called the urgent line and they told me to come into hospital to get assessed, but I didn't go, so just home now feeling so dark and unsupported. I feel so alone
In other news, today hasn't been much better in terms of my mood. Got close to seriously hurting myself again. Called the urgent line and they told me to come into hospital to get assessed, but I didn't go, so just home now feeling so dark and unsupported. I feel so alone
That doesn't sound good at all
Wasn't it results day today? How'd you do (if you want to share that is)?
Original post by Anonymous
If it doesn't come soon you should definitely chase it up, don't want to miss out on the mentoring.
Thanks
College interview was OK I think. Was nearly crying waiting to go in, I always seem to get tearful when I'm at colleges. I'm so paranoid about people looking at me, I have genuinely never seen anyone bad-looking there and then I turn up. Glanced to the side of me and someone was actually looking at me, could feel myself burning up.
But when I went into the interview it went great. I need 8 A's to get onto a Medicine Honours Programme which is basically a support group that helps you with BMAT, UKCAT and other application stuff. It's something to aim for at least. My mum is really excited about it for some reason so I'm just worried about disappointing her.
Thanks
College interview was OK I think. Was nearly crying waiting to go in, I always seem to get tearful when I'm at colleges. I'm so paranoid about people looking at me, I have genuinely never seen anyone bad-looking there and then I turn up. Glanced to the side of me and someone was actually looking at me, could feel myself burning up.
But when I went into the interview it went great. I need 8 A's to get onto a Medicine Honours Programme which is basically a support group that helps you with BMAT, UKCAT and other application stuff. It's something to aim for at least. My mum is really excited about it for some reason so I'm just worried about disappointing her.
Yeah I should, just hate doing it, feel like such a pain. Pretty sure the letter has got lost, been over a week since I saw the gp and it should only take a few days. Surely the medical centre must have realised half their emails don't get recieved, would think they would sort out whatever is going on. Meh just wish everything would run smoothly.
Aww sure the person was just being nosy and not thinking anything about you.
Woo! Glad it went well! Can help to have a target, you can only do what you can though. She won't be disappointed, she will just want you take care of your health more than anything.
Original post by Alofleicester
That doesn't sound good at all
Wasn't it results day today? How'd you do (if you want to share that is)?
That doesn't sound good at all
Wasn't it results day today? How'd you do (if you want to share that is)?
It isn't. And I really feel alone too, which if I remember, was a feel feeling in me last time I attempted suicide
I'm scared, but trying to keep myself as safe as I can, and try to convince myself I'm not alone, even though I probably am Yeah they were good (A) but it hasn't done much for my mood tbh
Original post by Webberino
Yeah I should, just hate doing it, feel like such a pain. Pretty sure the letter has got lost, been over a week since I saw the gp and it should only take a few days. Surely the medical centre must have realised half their emails don't get recieved, would think they would sort out whatever is going on. Meh just wish everything would run smoothly.
Aww sure the person was just being nosy and not thinking anything about you.
Woo! Glad it went well! Can help to have a target, you can only do what you can though. She won't be disappointed, she will just want you take care of your health more than anything.
Aww sure the person was just being nosy and not thinking anything about you.
Woo! Glad it went well! Can help to have a target, you can only do what you can though. She won't be disappointed, she will just want you take care of your health more than anything.
If it doesn't arrive tomorrow then definitely contact somebody about it. You would think they would but apparently not. I wish it would too, your counsellor sounds like he is really helping you.
Hopefully. Everybody else was sat there texting and I was just like
Yeah, that's true I suppose.
I'm feeling a bit weird atm. I think it's partly exam results, partly the interview and partly a sugar rush from fizzy drinks. Not looking forward to the inevitable crash.
Time is passing really slowly at the moment.
I've just been updating my mood log/ general diary and stuff that happened two days ago literally feels like months ago.
Maybe it's because I ended up sleeping up 7pm yesterday, I don't know.
Still not going to be able to see a psychiatrist for at least a week, so I'm stuck on the stupid quetiapine.
I've just been updating my mood log/ general diary and stuff that happened two days ago literally feels like months ago.
Maybe it's because I ended up sleeping up 7pm yesterday, I don't know.
Still not going to be able to see a psychiatrist for at least a week, so I'm stuck on the stupid quetiapine.
Mum had a talk with me this evening where she told me she strongly suspects I'm bipolar it was a bit odd, since she's not qualified and it was a bit random, but now I feel scared. The possibility had already crossed my mind because my grandmother was bipolar, and the prospect of it has never really botherd me, but just the fact that she sat me down and tried to 'prepare' me for it, acting like it would be a really severe and awful thing, has made me feel bad. I have a psychiatrist appointment in a few weeks, and I don't really know quite what it's for. I don't know if it's just a natural progression from the GP, or if being referred there means they think I have something more than depression that would need diagnosing.
I'm starting to feel kind of happy being miserable all the time. it's almost nice having nothing to do and being able to lie in bed and cry and sleep all day.
it was a bit odd, since she's not qualified and it was a bit random, but now I feel scared. The possibility had already crossed my mind because my grandmother was bipolar, and the prospect of it has never really botherd me, but just the fact that she sat me down and tried to 'prepare' me for it, acting like it would be a really severe and awful thing, has made me feel bad. I have a psychiatrist appointment in a few weeks, and I don't really know quite what it's for. I don't know if it's just a natural progression from the GP, or if being referred there means they think I have something more than depression that would need diagnosing.I'm starting to feel kind of happy being miserable all the time. it's almost nice having nothing to do and being able to lie in bed and cry and sleep all day.
Original post by Anonymous
If it doesn't arrive tomorrow then definitely contact somebody about it. You would think they would but apparently not. I wish it would too, your counsellor sounds like he is really helping you.
Hopefully. Everybody else was sat there texting and I was just like
Yeah, that's true I suppose.
I'm feeling a bit weird atm. I think it's partly exam results, partly the interview and partly a sugar rush from fizzy drinks. Not looking forward to the inevitable crash.
Hopefully. Everybody else was sat there texting and I was just like
Yeah, that's true I suppose.
I'm feeling a bit weird atm. I think it's partly exam results, partly the interview and partly a sugar rush from fizzy drinks. Not looking forward to the inevitable crash.
Ok will do, will email mentor health advisor and ask if he's recieved first and when he says no will phone up the medical centre....owh phone calls are scary.
Yeah, he's great, I wanted to thank him at the end of the session but I got all awkward all that came out was a "bye", can still amaze myself with my own social awkwardness sometimes.
Aww sometimes when I'm in the kitchen with other people and feel uncomfortable I start fiddling about doing nothing with my phone.
Hmm well I guess weird is better than low.
Sleep through the crash!
