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Am I being a horrible OTA?

OTA = overly attached girlfriend.

And thanks in advance for the long read...

I'm in my early 20s and in a serious relationship of 2 years.

I hadn't seen my boyfriend, or heard from him for a week. The most I got was a couple of text messages, which are almost always initiated by me. In his defense, he's also been feeling ill this week and if he was up for it, he would've come to see me.

Today I finally persuaded him to call me, and he said he'd do so in 20 mins, but after over an hour, nothing. I texted him and he called.

I didn't pick up straight away because I was annoyed about waiting. When I did, he told me that he changed his work shift to Friday afternoon (when we were meant to meet up) instead of Saturday (a day we can't). I felt so moody that I couldn't bring myself to speak properly so the conversation was awkward and horrible.

What makes it worse is that even when I'm not annoyed, it sometimes feels like we have nothing to say on the phone. Our conversations nowadays last 30 mins tops, whilst he used to speak for hours with his ex.

I wondered if it was because we don't actually have much in common, the spark's died and we're drifting apart. On the way home, I felt like crying on the train. I texted him that I felt like crying. He read the text, (it's whatsapp) and didn't even respond.

So am I being just a really overly attached girl that'll probably end up in a house full of cats if I don't change my evil ways?

Reply 1

greeneyes1706

You're not being an OTA at all! I can totally relate to what you're saying - i'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend, except we've only been going out for 3 1/2 months but our spark has died and we barely talk anymore. It's horrible, I completely know how you feel :frown:

It sounds like you need to sit down and actually speak with him face to face, it might sound horrible but that's clearly the only way you're going to get a response out of him. But don't feel like you're being overly attached, you're being a normal girl who misses her boyfriend...

Reply 2

SummerAnthems

Am I the only one wondering why OTA stands for overly attached girlfriend? Surely that's an OAG? Granted its not as snappy...

Reply 3

superduper9

Hey,

I don't think you're being overly attached or unreasonable. A relationship only works if both people take the effort. From what you've said, it appears as though its only you taking the effort at the moment. Like you said, it sounds as though the spark has gone. That's what happened to me once - the girl I was seeing lost interest and it just became a real struggle. The texts died down, the number of times we met up became far less and she wasn't very responsive even when we were together. At the start though it was completely different. I felt annoyed and upset at the time because I really liked her, but you can't change people's feelings.

Seeing as yours is a long term relationship, I would take a bit more effort before giving up hope. Try and plan a nice evening or day out together - make it romantic. Maybe do something that you did on your first few dates to recreate that magic! If he still isn't responding, then unfortunately, your relationship may have run its course.

To answer your question though, I certainly don't think you're overly attached, evil or destined to live in a house full of cats! You may just need to find someone who appreciates you more?!

Reply 4

superduper9

Original post by SummerAnthems

Am I the only one wondering why OTA stands for overly attached girlfriend? Surely that's an OAG? Granted its not as snappy...

I thought that too! Maybe OP was going for something similar to OTT (over the top) because I can sort of draw the analogy between the two abbreviations!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by SummerAnthems

Am I the only one wondering why OTA stands for overly attached girlfriend? Surely that's an OAG? Granted its not as snappy...

Original post by superduper9

I thought that too! Maybe OP was going for something similar to OTT (over the top) because I can sort of draw the analogy between the two abbreviations!