'gender-neutral parenting'
Scroll to see replies
I don't see anything wrong with 'gender-neutral' parenting but I don't agree with their reasoning.
My parents raised me 'traditionally' and it didn't suit me at all. I was a tomboy up until 13 or so. The only doll I ever had was called 'Bob' and had a lazy eye. My toys were pretty much the cars and guns my parents had bought for my brother. If my parents put me in a skirt or dress, I would put trousers or dungarees on and tuck it in. I never wore pink and my clothes were all boy-ish. I had wild, curly afro-y hair that I refused to ever brush or cut and I didn't care about my appearance at all. I had an 'adventure club' with my friends where we used to climb trees, jump off stuff, look for bugs and dare each other to do things like eating worms. Whenever we went to visit friends of the family, I would chill with the guys, even when the daughter was my age. I used to go to one [now best friend's] house weekly but I would spend all my time on video games like GTA1 or NBA with her older brother. I could go on. I did grow out of it but it was a hassle for my parents because I didn't 'fit' the way they were trying to raise me and their attempts only made me rebel against it even more.
My younger brother was raised traditionally too but happened to be more 'feminine' and he was the one who wanted dolls and dresses for his birthday, at the same time, he was into cars and planes. My sister was raised the same way as me and it worked for her because she fit that style of parenting.
I don't think there's anything wrong with giving a child the freedom to express themselves however they want when it comes to gender. Eventually they'll 'find themselves' and probably be grateful for having that freedom to do so.
My parents raised me 'traditionally' and it didn't suit me at all. I was a tomboy up until 13 or so. The only doll I ever had was called 'Bob' and had a lazy eye. My toys were pretty much the cars and guns my parents had bought for my brother. If my parents put me in a skirt or dress, I would put trousers or dungarees on and tuck it in. I never wore pink and my clothes were all boy-ish. I had wild, curly afro-y hair that I refused to ever brush or cut and I didn't care about my appearance at all. I had an 'adventure club' with my friends where we used to climb trees, jump off stuff, look for bugs and dare each other to do things like eating worms. Whenever we went to visit friends of the family, I would chill with the guys, even when the daughter was my age. I used to go to one [now best friend's] house weekly but I would spend all my time on video games like GTA1 or NBA with her older brother. I could go on. I did grow out of it but it was a hassle for my parents because I didn't 'fit' the way they were trying to raise me and their attempts only made me rebel against it even more.
My younger brother was raised traditionally too but happened to be more 'feminine' and he was the one who wanted dolls and dresses for his birthday, at the same time, he was into cars and planes. My sister was raised the same way as me and it worked for her because she fit that style of parenting.
I don't think there's anything wrong with giving a child the freedom to express themselves however they want when it comes to gender. Eventually they'll 'find themselves' and probably be grateful for having that freedom to do so.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
So? They're just letting their son play with what he wants rather than saying he has to conform to gender roles. What's wrong with that?
For once, I agree with the Lannister girl.
Tell Tywin that the Martells send their regards.
Original post by Pegasus2
Not really.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
No, they are allowing him to choose. Just because he chooses different things to what you expect doesn't mean he isn't choosing
Original post by Juichiro
For once, I agree with the Lannister girl.
Tell Tywin that the Martells send their regards.
Tell Tywin that the Martells send their regards.
Will be passed on
Original post by Pegasus2
Not really.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
I disagree, I have known many young boys interested in 'girl's' toys and vice versa. I think that what the family are doing is letting the child chose the toys and clothes for himself rather than having to play with trucks because he's a boy. They aren't forcing him to conform to anything and that is the point with this style of parenting. It means that Max is free to be who he wants without thinking that the toys or clothes he likes are wrong for him to like. The parents aren't forcing him not to play with 'boy's' toys, just letting him know that it's ok if he prefers 'girl's' toys.
Original post by Pegasus2
Not really.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
Letting their son play with what he wants would be cars, trains etc. Garenteed.
They are forcing him to conform to a gener neutal role. Which is not so good, because he is a boy.
You will find that boys naturally gravitate towards cars/lorrys etc and girls naturally gravitate towards dolls/doll houses (or whatever girls play with at that stage) not because it's forced on them but because they are interested in playing with those things.
Boys are boys and girls are girls, they are different. This should be accepted.
Yes, boys are boys and girls are girls, but liking cars or dolls is nothing to with gender and is imposed by what society thinks that sex should like. It's stupid.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by puma21
What ever happened to letting boys be boys? This boy doesn't stand a chance in life with those two forcing their gender neutrality belief onto him.
well that's not how it works for a start, the whole idea is it doesn't force one gender identity or another onto the child...so if they kid wants to do traditionally boyish things they can, conversely they can also do more feminine or girlish things if they want, or they can do a mix of both or neither even...essentially it lets them be whoever they want to be, which is how kids should be raised imo.
Original post by puma21
What ever happened to letting boys be boys? This boy doesn't stand a chance in life with those two forcing their gender neutrality belief onto him.
What do you define as letting a boy be a boy? That has nothing to do with biology, you're merely referring to what our society defines as what toys a boy should play with and what activities he should do, when this varies all around the world. Why, pink used to be the colour for boys, and blue used to be the colour for girls.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
No, they are allowing him to choose. Just because he chooses different things to what you expect doesn't mean he isn't choosing
Really...
I was allowed to choose, 20 years ago, when I was just starting to walk. As was a girl who was born on the same day as me. We had masculine and femanine based toys placed infront of us. Guess what I chose, guess what she chose.
I was again allowed to choose several years later, arguable you could say I had been influenced by this point. I think the options were between a tomy trainset and a cookery station. Guess what I chose.
Original post by Juichiro
Yes really. We can't find that because most parents do gender-based parenting. Being born with a penis does not automatically mean that he will like cars. Males are males and females are females. Anything else was made up by us humans.
I can see by your statement you've really though in depth about this. You know the difference between boys and girls extends far beyond the physical, right? Obviously not.... Their brains are connected differently, with specialisation in different areas (Men: spacial awareness, gross motor control, navigation. Women: Communication, facial recognition, emotional recognition, fine motor control.), their instincts are different (evolutionary trait), their intrests will be different, thier perception is different. You know why? Because they are differnt.
When I was a baby I was dressed in girls clothes, because they had been donated by people who had had children and the majority of them happened to have had girls.
Yep, still played with trains and trucks...and lego...lots of lego.
Men and women fulfill diffeering roles in society. There is little point getting away from that. Men fix cars and women work in schools (to pick a biased profession) they don't have to and the option is there for them to do what they like (mostly) but when was the last time you saw a male primary teacher or a female mechanic? It's because they don't want to undertake those professions.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Pegasus2
Really...
I was allowed to choose, 20 years ago, when I was just starting to walk. As was a girl who was born on the same day as me. We had masculine and femanine based toys placed infront of us. Guess what I chose, guess what she chose.
I was again allowed to choose again several years later, arguable you could say I hacd been influenced by this point. I think the options were between a tomy trainset and a cookery station. Guess what I chose.
You're a clever one aren't you. I can see by your statment you've really though in depth about this. You know the difference between boys and girls extends far beyond the physical, right? Obviously not.... Their brains are connected differently, with specialisation in different areas, their instincts are different, their intrests will be different, thier perception is different. You know why? Because they are differnt.
When I was a baby I was dressed in girls clothes, because they had been donated by people who had had children and the majority of them happened to have had girls.
Yep, still played with trains and trucks...and lego...lots of lego.
Men and women fulfill diffeering roles in society. There is little point getting away from that. Men fix cars and women work in schools (to pick a biased profession) they don't have to and the option is there for them but when was the last time you saw a male primary teacher or a female mechanic? It's because they don't want to.
I was allowed to choose, 20 years ago, when I was just starting to walk. As was a girl who was born on the same day as me. We had masculine and femanine based toys placed infront of us. Guess what I chose, guess what she chose.
I was again allowed to choose again several years later, arguable you could say I hacd been influenced by this point. I think the options were between a tomy trainset and a cookery station. Guess what I chose.
You're a clever one aren't you. I can see by your statment you've really though in depth about this. You know the difference between boys and girls extends far beyond the physical, right? Obviously not.... Their brains are connected differently, with specialisation in different areas, their instincts are different, their intrests will be different, thier perception is different. You know why? Because they are differnt.
When I was a baby I was dressed in girls clothes, because they had been donated by people who had had children and the majority of them happened to have had girls.
Yep, still played with trains and trucks...and lego...lots of lego.
Men and women fulfill diffeering roles in society. There is little point getting away from that. Men fix cars and women work in schools (to pick a biased profession) they don't have to and the option is there for them but when was the last time you saw a male primary teacher or a female mechanic? It's because they don't want to.
There are loads of male primary teachers. It's nothing to do with how brains are connected, it's to do with what society imposes on children.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Pegasus2
Really...
I was allowed to choose, 20 years ago, when I was just starting to walk. As was a girl who was born on the same day as me. We had masculine and femanine based toys placed infront of us. Guess what I chose, guess what she chose.
I was again allowed to choose again several years later, arguable you could say I hacd been influenced by this point. I think the options were between a tomy trainset and a cookery station. Guess what I chose.
I was allowed to choose, 20 years ago, when I was just starting to walk. As was a girl who was born on the same day as me. We had masculine and femanine based toys placed infront of us. Guess what I chose, guess what she chose.
I was again allowed to choose again several years later, arguable you could say I hacd been influenced by this point. I think the options were between a tomy trainset and a cookery station. Guess what I chose.
If we're using anecdotal, my favourite toys were my train set, garage, and my cooking station. I played with both
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
If we're using anecdotal, my favourite toys were my train set, garage, and my cooking station. I played with both
That's cool. I _asked_ for a silvanian dolls narrowboat.
I didn't touch the dolls, gave them to the girl who had most of the silvanain stuff and only played with the boat.
20 years on I think I spend more time on/in boats than I do on land.
So what if this kid decides he wants to play with cars...to pic a generic boy's toy?
I skimmed the article since it came from the worlds most reliable source, the dailyfail.
Original post by Pegasus2
That's cool. I _asked_ for a silvanian dolls narrowboat.
I didn't touch the dolls, gave them to the girl who had most of the silvanain stuff and only played with the boat.
20 years on I think I spend more time on/in boats than I do on land.
So what if this kid decides he wants to play with cars...to pic a generic boy's toy?
I skimmed the article since it came from the worlds most reliable source, the dailyfail.
I didn't touch the dolls, gave them to the girl who had most of the silvanain stuff and only played with the boat.
20 years on I think I spend more time on/in boats than I do on land.
So what if this kid decides he wants to play with cars...to pic a generic boy's toy?
I skimmed the article since it came from the worlds most reliable source, the dailyfail.
He can play with them. His parents are letting him do both
don't see why I shouldn't either!Original post by Pegasus2
That's cool. I _asked_ for a silvanian dolls narrowboat.
I didn't touch the dolls, gave them to the girl who had most of the silvanain stuff and only played with the boat.
20 years on I think I spend more time on/in boats than I do on land.
So what if this kid decides he wants to play with cars...to pic a generic boy's toy?
I skimmed the article since it came from the worlds most reliable source, the dailyfail.
I didn't touch the dolls, gave them to the girl who had most of the silvanain stuff and only played with the boat.
20 years on I think I spend more time on/in boats than I do on land.
So what if this kid decides he wants to play with cars...to pic a generic boy's toy?
I skimmed the article since it came from the worlds most reliable source, the dailyfail.
What's unreliable about that story? Are you claiming the story is false?
Posted from TSR Mobile
"She adds: ‘It doesn’t matter if he’s homosexual, bisexual, transsexual or asexual as far as I’m concerned.'"
I expect this poor boy will wind up being one of those.
I expect this poor boy will wind up being one of those.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Children to no longer be prescribed puberty blockers, NHS England confirms
- Trans Girl Getting Off
- NHS trust says transgender milk just as good for babies as normal milk
- Changing rooms in the university sport facilities
- Thoughts on Abortion?
- Schools encouraged to scrap gendered language like Sir and Miss
- Urgent LNAT essay feedback
- Has anyone read the Cass report yet?
- Michaela School: Muslim student loses prayer ban challenge
- Hi, would anyone please be able to give me feedback on my practice LNAT essay?
- Chores
- Queerness & University
- Dissertation survey - HELP!
- Have you ever questioned your gender identity?
- LGBTQ+ Q and A Thread
- AQA GCSE English Literature Paper 2 (8702/2) - 20th May 2024 [Exam Chat]
- gcse aqa sociology 12 marker
- Best Neighbourhoods For Secondary Schooling In Bucks & Hertfordshire counties?
- Spss question
- Help
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 3 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 3 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?Trending
Last reply 3 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 3 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 3 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?
