What is so wrong in today's society with being a 'slut'?

Slut shaming is stupid and unpleasant and I wish it didn't exist, but that doesn't mean it's not natural or expected for it to exist. If our psychology has been shaped by millions of years of evolution in an environment where it was definitively bad for a woman to sleep with whomever, of course it's sensible to expect mechanisms to develop to try to prevent it.

From a man's perspective, it's bad for him to partner with a woman who sleeps around because there is a greater chance he is wasting his resources supporting a child not carrying his genes. This kind of behaviour would naturally be weeded out as one's own genes wouldn't continue.

From a woman's perspective, if she doesn't partner with a man who can provide for her and the child, she's totally screwed. Therefore, she needs to choose carefully, and I suppose it must have helped for there to be social condemnation in place.

In the present day, things are totally different of course, since there are pretty much no consequences to safe sex, except for the ones we impose on ourselves through our psychology. Because our psychology did not evolve in an environment with safe sex, we can't expect our innate inclinations regarding sex to correctly conform to what is best in the modern environment.

Even knowing intellectually that slut shaming is nonsense, do I want a relationship with a woman who's had a prolific history? Nope. My subconscious doesn't give a monkey's about contraception. I'm just either attracted to someone or not, based on whatever the hell my subconscious chooses.

And of course it's the same for everyone else - men and women tend to have vastly different approaches to sex, with men typically being open to sleeping with whomever and women being much more cautious. And so it remains the case that for most men it's difficult to have a lot of sexual partners, yet for most women it's easy if only they actually wanted to. We all know this, so it's easy to see it as an "achievement" for a man and a "failing" for a woman.

A more sophisticated person might eschew making such crude judgements of people, but their subconscious won't be listening.

That's just your perspective though. I personally couldn't care less about her number, whether that's 0 or 20. It's just a piece of information that is absolutely irrelevant when making my mind up about her as a person.

Yeah, that's just my perspective. I know others have told me it's not something that affects their opinions at all, though I don't know what to make of that myself.

It is your life and your prerogative to feel that way, but I really do think you should stop attempting to justify and rationalise it with all this evolutionary pseudo-psychology nonsense, and just accept that its just a personal hang-up that you have. It doesn't require an explanation, its just how you feel.

Ultimately, I don't think many people would really care - if they really liked the girl, they'd soon get over it.

I'm not justifying it - I think it's pretty stupid. And yes, I think you're right that most people would get over it, but all else being equal, most guys would probably have a preference that their partner have had fewer sexual partners. This might go for women too, though.

Most of the time people would like to be regarded as being something special to their partner especially if they enter into a sexual relationship. If historically your partner has had loads of other partners (especially sexual) then the greater probability is that you're likely to be just another conquest or passing phase. If you're looking for something a bit more meaningful and possibly longer term such people aren't likely to be such a good bet.

Is that true or are you wrong?

Loaded question or what? Lol.

Thats a very old-fashioned outlook, not many adults share that attitude. Sex is sex, its something fun and enjoyable that two people do together.

Sex is love
Sex is fun
Sex is procreation
Sex is power
Sex is a job

Sex is many things to many people but it is never "just sex" it is much too important and sex should be respected for all it's consequences.

I was tempted to put "is that true or are you an idiot" but I thought that would be crossing the line.

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Ahhh of course "what men like"
Come on girls we should know that our purpose in life is solely to be the ideal picture of what men "like" or want.

"What men like" my ass. Ever considered that we don't care what you like? And may do/ wear things solely for the purpose of our happiness?

Sex is love
Sex is fun
Sex is procreation
Sex is power
Sex is a job

Sex is many things to many people but it is never "just sex" it is much too important and sex should be respected for all it's consequences.

No girls I know like men that think like this. Why are sluts shameful? They are not doing anything bad or wrong. You really need to grow up. Men and women sleeping around is the same.

You do realise that sex can be enjoyable for both sexes right? You realise that sometimes life situations are such that we'd appreciate a partner but circumstances aren't providing or shock horror - we want sex too. It just sounds like men are scared of female sexuality. Sorry about that. We aren't maidens of the medieval times nor barbie dolls with fuzzed out genitals. Sorry that sometimes your (and I mean this metaphorically) penis is not the centre of our world.

Sounds very insecure to me. If sex isn't a big deal for guys to do it sounds like you need to stop having a fit about a woman having sex with a guy who isn't you.

You need to find yourself some new girl friends then...
/
And Its not the same.
its clearly not.
Maybe you want it to be though.......

You need to find yourself some new girl friends then...
/
And Its not the same.
its clearly not.
Maybe you want it to be though.......

I don't really think its meant to be a justification so much as a commentary of the hypocritical nature of society's attitudes towards men and women. That being said, it is completely possible to have many sex partners and not end up with STI's and many women don't want a relationship or children so what is your point here?



I would love to hear your brilliant explanation why its not the same.

THIS.
Not all women want children. Not all women want a "normal" relationship. Sleeping around does not cause STI's provided the person takes care to be safe.
Oh and guess what? Women love sex too, we enjoy it, we're programmed to recieve pleasure from it too. Stop telling women what women want.

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No I'm good thanks.
It's exactly the same, end of! Get out of the Victorian times.