University has turned me into exactly the kind of person I hate and said I'd never be
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
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Original post by Anonymous
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
Don't hate yourself, if you're unhappy about the way you've been in the past then focus on the future and the things you can change
You say you get drunk and give it up easily, have you thought about cutting down the amount you drink/giving up drinking?
I feel like a ton of girls have a phase like this. I know I did last summer.
It'll pass it's course, most likely.
If not, there may be some deep seated issues.
Try to not drink so much out (I know, I know, crazy thing to ask) or get a friend/flatmate to cock-block you and make sure you get home alone.
Definitely use the break as a time to reflect and give yourself a break. As much as the perfect "losing my v card to the love of my life" thing goes, don't feel too bad its a pretty idyllic and uncommon occurrence.
All you can do is make the decision to live your life how you want. There's nothing wrong with sexual freedom, but if it makes you unhappy then just change the way you're living.
It'll pass it's course, most likely.
If not, there may be some deep seated issues.
Try to not drink so much out (I know, I know, crazy thing to ask) or get a friend/flatmate to cock-block you and make sure you get home alone.
Definitely use the break as a time to reflect and give yourself a break. As much as the perfect "losing my v card to the love of my life" thing goes, don't feel too bad its a pretty idyllic and uncommon occurrence.
All you can do is make the decision to live your life how you want. There's nothing wrong with sexual freedom, but if it makes you unhappy then just change the way you're living.
Original post by Anonymous
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
Obviously you get over hating yourself quickly by having another one night stand
Stop getting so drunk then?
You obviously enjoy this kind of lifestyle but you're just in denial about it, or else you wouldn't have done it a second time.. then a third.. fourth..fifth.. then sixth.
Maybe stop throwing yourselves at men whilst you drunk will help, I very much doubt anyone is stupid enough to believe they'll get a meaningful relationship from a one night stand from a stranger.
Please stop being so hypocritical.
(edited 9 years ago)
I think this pretty much sums it up:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
There is nothing wrong with having sex with people. What is wrong is having sex with people otherwise than on terms you're comfortable with. If getting drunk leads to you giving guys what they want more easily than you like, then cut back on drinking (I'm not saying abstain, I'm just saying keep it under control) and focus on looking for what you actually want.
Also maybe stop sleeping with freshers.
I'd just like to jump right in here and say that whilst I agree that if you don't like behaving a certain way; don't do it, I don't think your behaviour is something to be ashamed of. For many people uni is all about discovering yourself and trying new things, and there's nothing wrong with a woman sleeping with guys she's attracted to because she wants to, it doesn't mean anything.
If you don't like having one night stands though, then yeah just stop - don't drink so much that you can't control yourself (that or just accept it if it does happen) and maybe look elsewhere for relationship material, there's plenty at uni but you are less likely to find a relationship with a drunk guy in a club who is probably (but not always) just looking for sex.
Good luck
If you don't like having one night stands though, then yeah just stop - don't drink so much that you can't control yourself (that or just accept it if it does happen) and maybe look elsewhere for relationship material, there's plenty at uni but you are less likely to find a relationship with a drunk guy in a club who is probably (but not always) just looking for sex.
Good luck
Thanks for the replies everyone, they are making me feel a lot better- I know alcohol is a huge part of the problem so I am definitely going to try and cut down. It's not like I even drink a lot it's more that I'm a massive lightweight
I know there's not anything wrong with having sex, a lot of people I know sleep around all the time and think nothing of it, but personally I find it just makes me feel so much worse about myself afterwards and that's why I want to stop
I know there's not anything wrong with having sex, a lot of people I know sleep around all the time and think nothing of it, but personally I find it just makes me feel so much worse about myself afterwards and that's why I want to stop
Well from what I bothered to read to trick here seems to be to not get so drunk.
Original post by Anonymous
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
There is owt wrong with enjoying sex. Its this stupid social standard that's set by a bunch of up tight dickheads whom really don't know the concept of fun and enjoyment.
Now this boy. What have you done to make it happen? If you want something go and bloody get it. Don't expect it to come to you.
Turn to Allah and he will guide you.
“Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and forsake them in beds apart, and beat them.” Quran 4:34, “Women,” Dawood, p. 83
Seriously though and joking aside, this is classic insecurity seeking affection and confirmation that you are lovable, desirable and normal. The alcohol removes inhibitions and this removes your ability to stay in control.
The power is in your own hands. Stay away from the alcohol and focus on making true friends. They gotta prove to you first that they are worth starting any form of relationship with.
“Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and forsake them in beds apart, and beat them.” Quran 4:34, “Women,” Dawood, p. 83
Seriously though and joking aside, this is classic insecurity seeking affection and confirmation that you are lovable, desirable and normal. The alcohol removes inhibitions and this removes your ability to stay in control.
The power is in your own hands. Stay away from the alcohol and focus on making true friends. They gotta prove to you first that they are worth starting any form of relationship with.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
.
Firstly you should feel bad for having sex while not in relationships on the whole. As long as you make sure you are safe, use protection (accepting that it isn't 100% effective) and the other person wants the same as you then there is nothing intrinsically wrong with it. It's an individual decision. You are not 'easy' just because you have chosen to have sex several times in a certain timeframe.
Having said that, if you're unhappy purely because you feel it's not the right choice for you then that's fine too.
It sounds like you personally are looking for something more, so I would try to make that clear next time. That doesn't mean you can't sleep with someone quickly if that's what you both want. But explain beforehand that you aren't looking for a one night stand. Then the person can say fair enough, and that they are if that's the case and you can leave it there, or decide to have a one night stand knowing that's what it is which will avoid disappointment of you expecting more. If you make sure you're really clear and open about what you both want then that will avoid any disappointment on either side.
In particular I'd talk to the friend who you slept with about how he's feeling. Maybe he wasn't looking for more and is too embarrassed to say so... you shouldn't lose a friendship over that. Maybe he is and just doesn't know what to say. It's worth talking just to clear the air, and it will give you some practise in talking frankly about what you want because it's a hard thing to do!
xxx
biggest and smallest dick size?
Original post by Anonymous
Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated
Sleeping around really isn't as such a big deal as long as you aren't hurting anybody. Just have fun, you're young.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the replies everyone, they are making me feel a lot better- I know alcohol is a huge part of the problem so I am definitely going to try and cut down. It's not like I even drink a lot it's more that I'm a massive lightweight
I know there's not anything wrong with having sex, a lot of people I know sleep around all the time and think nothing of it, but personally I find it just makes me feel so much worse about myself afterwards and that's why I want to stop
I know there's not anything wrong with having sex, a lot of people I know sleep around all the time and think nothing of it, but personally I find it just makes me feel so much worse about myself afterwards and that's why I want to stop
I'm pretty lightweight too, like one drink and I'm this red tomato. But I know to drink a load of water in between drinks and eat before I go out. It's about being smart with alcohol; if you're really really lightweight then you must do things to protect yourself and don't let it rule you out from drinking altogether when going out.
And it's also common perception that "to have a good night" you need to be drunk or drink, a few, at least - that's FALSE. You can have a great time being a vague tipsy state or even sober.
I was a happy tipsy at a Ball last year and everything went fine - ended up having to look after those who were smashed and did things they really regretted when they sobered up. By the end of the night, at 4am I was pretty sober. I had an amazing night; sometimes more fun watching others get drunk than being drunk yourself
you need a dose of resistance
yes guys will think it's easy and yes we will stop texting you because we're done with you.
yes guys will think it's easy and yes we will stop texting you because we're done with you.
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