feel like I have chosen the wrong uni

I am looking for some help with feeling that I've chosen the wrong uni. I am coming to the end of my first term in a 'prestigious' uni (not oxbridge but one considered 'near' the top) and, although liking it when I first visited, I always had my worries about the place. On the other hand, I adored a particular uni - something just felt right about the place, and I could see myself there - honestly, I think I was simply flattered that the uni I am at now wanted to give me an offer, hence putting that uni first and the other uni - which I loved - second. The thing is I have visited my friend, who is at this other uni, a few times, coming home physically upset from there that I was going back to where I was (which is why I believe this isn't homesickness - I'm aware you'd feel this anywhere). Where I am now is so small, with little on offer (hard coming from a big city) and although it's something that loads of people like, I don't like the 'city university' vibe - about 1/3 of the population is students, which to me feels pretty unnatural. On the other hand, this other uni still feels right whenever I go - the confusing thing however is that I didn't even have the grades needed on results day to go to my first choice, making me wonder why they still gave me an offer, and why things panned out how they did.
So, I am wondering whether anyone here has ever successfully transferred uni and how was your experience? The thing is I don't hate where I am now and feel like I could 'stick it out' a year, but not for four years - did you make friends (particularly important) easily enough with being a transfer student? I'm also worried that sticking it out a year here, with the intention to leave, would mean the friends I have made here would be completely disinterested in maintaining anything.
Also, has anyone ever dropped out and re-applied elsewhere, and how was your experience of that?
Thanks in advance for any replied!

Reply 1

999tigger

19

Original post by sohabi19

I am looking for some help with feeling that I've chosen the wrong uni. I am coming to the end of my first term in a 'prestigious' uni (not oxbridge but one considered 'near' the top) and, although liking it when I first visited, I always had my worries about the place. On the other hand, I adored a particular uni - something just felt right about the place, and I could see myself there - honestly, I think I was simply flattered that the uni I am at now wanted to give me an offer, hence putting that uni first and the other uni - which I loved - second. The thing is I have visited my friend, who is at this other uni, a few times, coming home physically upset from there that I was going back to where I was (which is why I believe this isn't homesickness - I'm aware you'd feel this anywhere). Where I am now is so small, with little on offer (hard coming from a big city) and although it's something that loads of people like, I don't like the 'city university' vibe - about 1/3 of the population is students, which to me feels pretty unnatural. On the other hand, this other uni still feels right whenever I go - the confusing thing however is that I didn't even have the grades needed on results day to go to my first choice, making me wonder why they still gave me an offer, and why things panned out how they did.
So, I am wondering whether anyone here has ever successfully transferred uni and how was your experience? The thing is I don't hate where I am now and feel like I could 'stick it out' a year, but not for four years - did you make friends (particularly important) easily enough with being a transfer student? I'm also worried that sticking it out a year here, with the intention to leave, would mean the friends I have made here would be completely disinterested in maintaining anything.
Also, has anyone ever dropped out and re-applied elsewhere, and how was your experience of that?
Thanks in advance for any replied!

Just apply now and go to the open day, be it for a new start or a transfer.

If you get the offer then you can make your mind up later in the year. You will have options. Its your life and you just have to balance out whether its prestige or a more fun uni experience you want.

Nothing to lose and everything to gain.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 2

sohabi19

OP

4

Thanks so much! The thing is as well this uni is ranked so highly for my course, just that where I am now is a better noticed uni on the whole - when I think back to the two, that really is the only reason I put it first. I’d definitely go as far as saying that this other uni has better x10 facilities for my course (as well as I think more like-minded people, more fun, and just with generally having got such a nice vibe for the place)

Reply 3

minzhudreaming

1

Original post by sohabi19

Thanks so much! The thing is as well this uni is ranked so highly for my course, just that where I am now is a better noticed uni on the whole - when I think back to the two, that really is the only reason I put it first. I’d definitely go as far as saying that this other uni has better x10 facilities for my course (as well as I think more like-minded people, more fun, and just with generally having got such a nice vibe for the place)

Hey there; I'm a first year uni student, and reading your post I feel exactly the same as you have described. Except I didn't really make the second vs first choice decision, because I never applied for any of my real first choices. And I regret it every day. What did you end up doing? What are you doing now? I'm so curious to how you ended up. What changed for you?

Original post by sohabi19

I am looking for some help with feeling that I've chosen the wrong uni. I am coming to the end of my first term in a 'prestigious' uni (not oxbridge but one considered 'near' the top) and, although liking it when I first visited, I always had my worries about the place. On the other hand, I adored a particular uni - something just felt right about the place, and I could see myself there - honestly, I think I was simply flattered that the uni I am at now wanted to give me an offer, hence putting that uni first and the other uni - which I loved - second. The thing is I have visited my friend, who is at this other uni, a few times, coming home physically upset from there that I was going back to where I was (which is why I believe this isn't homesickness - I'm aware you'd feel this anywhere). Where I am now is so small, with little on offer (hard coming from a big city) and although it's something that loads of people like, I don't like the 'city university' vibe - about 1/3 of the population is students, which to me feels pretty unnatural. On the other hand, this other uni still feels right whenever I go - the confusing thing however is that I didn't even have the grades needed on results day to go to my first choice, making me wonder why they still gave me an offer, and why things panned out how they did.
So, I am wondering whether anyone here has ever successfully transferred uni and how was your experience? The thing is I don't hate where I am now and feel like I could 'stick it out' a year, but not for four years - did you make friends (particularly important) easily enough with being a transfer student? I'm also worried that sticking it out a year here, with the intention to leave, would mean the friends I have made here would be completely disinterested in maintaining anything.
Also, has anyone ever dropped out and re-applied elsewhere, and how was your experience of that?
Thanks in advance for any replied!

Hi @sohabi19! I thought I'd reply and give you my experience, as in some ways it is quite similar.
I initially applied to Oxford University in year 13, and couldn't believe it when they gave me an offer. Even though I had my doubts about whether it was the right environment for me, I felt like I 'had' to go, because if you have an offer from there then surely you wouldn't turn it down! However, when I arrived I really really struggled with it. I did love the city and the social life, however, the academic environment was not well suited to me at all. I was very stressed and unhappy, and constantly thought about dropping out and going to another uni, and after a year and a half I did drop out due to the mental and emotional burnout of having been so stressed.

I took a couple of years out due to being unwell, and I am now at Exeter Uni. Although it obviously does not have the same reputation as Oxford, I am so, so glad I made the decision I did. I am performing better academically here than I did at Oxford, due to being in an environment in which I feel happier and more supported, and am studying a subject that I prefer. When you are doing a course that you love at a university/city you love, you will be able to get the most out of it all. From my experience, this will reflect in all areas of your life - your studies, your social life, and your health.

Whatever you choose to do, I would advise following what you are passionate about :smile:

Good luck!

Nina
University of Exeter Student Ambassador

Reply 5

sohabi19

OP

4

Hi!
You've got in touch at the perfect time because I literally graduated two weeks ago from my second-attempt uni (!) and could not have loved it any more if I tried :smile:

I ended up dropping out of my first uni after a term there (around December 2018) so I then reapplied and started over again in September 2019, rather than transferring straight into second year, for example. My course wan't actually that different - in the first uni I was studying Modern Languages, but I then changed to study Modern Languages, Translation and Interpreting so it was actually so much better suited to me because of how much focus there was on actual language learning rather than the culture side/essay writing (which I absolutely hated :frown:

lol). I felt quite lucky that the course was a bit different in this way because it would have made transferring much more difficult and I did want to experience freshers and first year in a uni I actually wanted to go to, but if you're considering transferring at all, I'd say it's still a much better option than sticking it out where you're unhappy!
Course-aside, everything about my second uni was just so much better. I was with loads more like-minded people, and made many of my best friends there; I was also in a city I loved with amazing nightlife and loads of shops, bars, restaurants, etc. (not important for everyone but it was for me!). Also, uni was a part of my life there rather than my entire life, which is how I felt at a campus uni where everything you did was kind of within the uni sphere. All the things I loved about where I ended up are personal to me, but more importantly I just felt so much happier, settled and at home there - so much so that I'm staying another year starting this September to do my teacher training! And you'll know when somewhere is or isn't for you, which is all it comes down to at the end of the day :smile:

I have no idea how I managed to make myself think that I'd like my first uni as it just wasn't for me at all, but looking back I can see that I just got carried away with a name.
If you're like me and want to go to a uni with a 'lower reputation', I'd just say please don't worry about it because, as someone else has said below, you really do thrive where you're happiest. You'll almost definitely come out with a better grade when you're enjoying what you're learning, and when you're feeling generally well and happy (might sound dramatic, but I know how miserable you can feel when you're somewhere you don't want to be).
So, all in all, a risk well worth taking! I am so, so glad I did it. Good luck with whatever decision you make and let me know if you have any more questions - I'd be happy to help!

(Original post by minzhudreaming)

Hey there; I'm a first year uni student, and reading your post I feel exactly the same as you have described. Except I didn't really make the second vs first choice decision, because I never applied for any of my real first choices. And I regret it every day. What did you end up doing? What are you doing now? I'm so curious to how you ended up. What changed for you?

feel like I have chosen the wrong uni

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