Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Is it a date?

So I've known this girl for a few years, we've become really close and I've liked her for a while. We've got with each other in clubs a few times and we'd hang out together/ go for dinner sometimes too. To summarise, it wasn't going anywhere and so I decided to back off to try and lose the feelings i had for her - but that backfired when after 2 weeks of no contact she text me upset saying that clearly my life was no different without her in it...After that happened we met up for a chat and she said our relationship is different to the ones she has with our mutual guy friends, and after a while everything went back to how it was...

She's just back from studying abroad for a year and i've met up with her and our friends a few times since. We went for dinner about a week ago which went well but it was just friendly. I then met her for drinks with a few others at the weekend and on dropping her home she asked what i was up to this week and whether i'd like to go for dinner/to the cinema with her because we're both away doing things next weekend; I said sure and that i'd text her.

I text her and asked if she fancied going cinema + dinner date on Thursday, she replied and said she didn't fancy the cinema but dinner would be ideal - i fixed up a time and she replied saying it sounds great.

My question is, given our history, does she see it as just friends hanging out despite me calling it a date?

Should I be looking for any signs she might be interested, i.e. touching my arm, brushing against me etc (which she has done recently)

I think its unlikely she wants anything but would be grateful of others perspectives...

Reply 1

08ravena1172

She may have feelings for you but is afraid to admit them in case she loses your friendship by doing so. It looks like you two have a very close relationship and in this case I think the best thing for both of you would be to ask her out when you meet up next and go for that meal out, if we've both read the signs wrong then over time your friendship will go back to normal because you're too close for something like that to ruin it..

Has she had any boyfriends recently? If she's been single for a while then maybe it's a sign she was waiting for you to ask her out?

Good luck!!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by 08ravena1172

Thanks for the response!

I mean I've known her since 1st year of uni and I've just graduated, and we haven't got with each other or anything like that since during my 2nd year, apart from when she came back from her year abroad for Christmas last year and we went out with our group of friends but I ended up sleeping with someone. When I met her the next day we ended up chilling in bed together with a film and I felt like she was a bit clingy, it was just weird.. sorry im blabbing on lol

Over the years she's had a few things with guys but they've always been quite casual, like she'd maybe see a few different guys over each of the years we've known each other but nothings come of them. And on her year abroad she saw a couple of guys too.

Its just hard to know where I stand, I just don't think she wants to settle or have some sort of long term relationship with someone yet.

I've been thinking about maybe casually putting my arm round her or something similar to see how she reacts when we meet up, but not sure that it'll reveal anything as we're probably close enough that she wouldn't mind it anyway.

Reply 3

08ravena1172

If it doesn't go to plan you can always wait until she's ready for you but you'll never know unless you try :smile:

That's a good plan, I'm not sure how well it will work as I don't have any male friends that do that with me but you know her better than I ever will so if it feels right, just go for it and accept whatever she responds with :smile:

Maybe she hasn't got a long term relationship yet because she's waiting for the right guy *cough* you? :wink:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I tried about 1 and a half years ago, told her i liked her etc but she said she wasn't interested but that our relationship was different to that of ones with our mutual guy friends... If she's waiting for the right guy i'm not sure its me. She sometimes talks about how she only goes for a certain type (which i am not) but most of the guys she's had things with haven't been that type she mentions

Reply 5

08ravena1172

oh.. hmm I'm not sure then, if you asked her out could you see it ruining your friendship?

Also, maybe she's going to ask you out in which case wait for her to make the move?