Advise on this date

Recently I went on a date with a girl that I matched on tinder and the date was relaxed and straight forward. The girl was proper into me and I was proper into her until she started to be honest with me about her life. First 🚩was she slept around with girls. Second 🚩she was a side chick while she knew about the guy having girlfriend.
Third🚩 she went on many dates so only got me thinking about her body count. I don't think she is a wife material I only had two proper relationships in my life I'm 24 and my body count is 2 so l'm looking for a decent proper girl to date. The other flag was her longest relationship was few months long. Obviously I don't want to judge her but the red flags flashed in front of my eyes straight.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I'm going to be real with you, your attitude towards women (and bisexuality) is a red flag and something you seriously need to get your head on right about before you start coming off as an incel to your dates. Who or how many people another person has had a fling with or went on dates with is not a mark on their character, or how much of "wife material" they may be, and certainly does not affect the fact that they want to commit to a relationship with you. We are long past the days where we should be continuing stereotypes of intimacy as making someone changed forever and definitely past shaming others for exploring their sexuality.

The only thing here that I see an actual issue with here is that she continued seeing someone who was already taken and the longest she's dated is just a few months (though theres lots of totally normal factors may come into the reason why that may be). It seems like you two have gotten along great already so if you're concerned with either of these then I'd recommend asking her, gently, why in a second date. Do make sure be relaxed about it and to not look/sound like you're judging her or else you won't get a real answer from her or she may get defensive over you prying.

Reply 2

johnathanReid

OP

7

My attitude? Where did you get that from? If a man wants a women that is heterosexual not bisexual it’s considered to be incel energy? Let me guess you are a feminist supporter? 😂 The amount of people someone slept with has huge impact on them and the ability to have a long last relationship. But anyways everyone to themselves.

The girl turned out to be seeking validation and actually was indeed sleeping around.Even in her dating profile it stated she wants short term relationships. So I dodged a bullet and all the troubles that would of came with it.

Original post by johnathanReid

If a man wants a women that is heterosexual not bisexual it’s considered to be incel energy? Let me guess you are a feminist supporter? 😂

If your preference is for heterosexual women then that's fine, but that's not what a red flag is. A red flag is something that makes someone inherently unsuited to a relationship by indicating behaviour that is unhealthy, manipulative abusive etc, irrespective of preferences. Someone being bisexual is not a red flag.

What don't you like about feminism?

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by johnathanReid

My attitude? Where did you get that from? If a man wants a women that is heterosexual not bisexual it’s considered to be incel energy? Let me guess you are a feminist supporter? 😂 The amount of people someone slept with has huge impact on them and the ability to have a long last relationship. But anyways everyone to themselves.

The girl turned out to be seeking validation and actually was indeed sleeping around.Even in her dating profile it stated she wants short term relationships. So I dodged a bullet and all the troubles that would of came with it.

First of all look up the concept of bi erasure. A hetero finding out their partner is bi is NOT a red flag. If you are both loyal but still take issue to it then you're simply homo/biphobic. And this is nothing to do with being 'woke' or 'feminism'. If she's only dating you and not others (including girls) what's the issue? Does it threaten your masculinity or something?

Secondly what is this body count rubbish. If you're that concerned both of you do an STD test. Discriminating based on past partners is a crappy metric.

Reply 5

londonmyst

19

If she is incompatible with your dealbreakers, ambitions or values- it means that she is not the right person for you to date and you are not the right person for her to date.

It's time for you to move on and consider changing your dating strategy.
The fact that you are uncomfortable with her sexual history and dislike the fact that she has dated guys whom she knew already had gf's means that there is no chance of the two of you ever having a happy & healthy intimate relationship with each other.

Best to calmly and politely move on so that each of you are able to find more compatible dates without needlessly wasting any more time.
Good luck!

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