My friends keep asking me for homeworks, assignment, notes etc.
Basically I am starting to get ****ed off because I have the same classes as everyone else, yet I also work 30h a week, volunteer 4h a week and have music/language lessons 6h a week. Even though I'm busy I find time to do homework, do group projects and keep on top of my notes. My friends on the other hand do nothing outside of class, just drink party, go for dinners and do fun activities. I don't care that they're doing interesting stuff while I'm "boring" (that's what they call me) but I need the money to pay through uni. What bothers me is that they keep saying I don't spend enough time with them when all they ever do is go to expensive places they know I can't afford or they're on their phones/making jokes about me. I used to cook/bake a lot at the start of uni and give it to them for free as friends do but now that I have way less time they keep saying I'm boring and don't give them anything anymore.
When it comes to school, they never work on projects until the day before it's due by which point I've done 90% of the work yet they always say see it wasn't that bad. We got it done. When it comes to notes and exams, they don't do them until about a week or few days before a test and then they keep asking me for notes/questions. I used to say ok, but now I'm saying no sorry and they're trying to make me feel crap. "What are friends for if not helping each other. " or "I've been feeling a bit off lately so I couldn't do it." None of them care that I sleep 4h a night so I'm sleep deprived, tired, have headaches most of the time.
I feel used and horrible about the situation ending up this way because we used to be friends but I think it was only because they were benefiting off me paying for things, giving them things and letting them off. now that I stand my ground, they're saying I don't care about them and I'm a horrble friends. I don't know what to do.
When it comes to school, they never work on projects until the day before it's due by which point I've done 90% of the work yet they always say see it wasn't that bad. We got it done. When it comes to notes and exams, they don't do them until about a week or few days before a test and then they keep asking me for notes/questions. I used to say ok, but now I'm saying no sorry and they're trying to make me feel crap. "What are friends for if not helping each other. " or "I've been feeling a bit off lately so I couldn't do it." None of them care that I sleep 4h a night so I'm sleep deprived, tired, have headaches most of the time.
I feel used and horrible about the situation ending up this way because we used to be friends but I think it was only because they were benefiting off me paying for things, giving them things and letting them off. now that I stand my ground, they're saying I don't care about them and I'm a horrble friends. I don't know what to do.
this was me in secondary school, and it was honestly the lowest point for me. standing up for yourself is good, and carry on doing it however some people won't care because they never did in the first place, which i dealt with as well. I wasn't confrontational and wouldn't call people out on their bs so i pretended to be lazy and dumb like them. when people would ask you for the homework say "WHAT HOMEWORK?!?!?" and act confused and pretend to panic then hand in the homework behind their backs or say "does anyone have any notes for this chapter, I'm so behind." obviously don't over do it but just make yourself look unorganised (even though you're not) and over time they will stop relying on you. As for projects just try and find another group, that's it.
Don't feel bad about their comments cuz from reading your paragraph you've done more than enough for them and ironically they're talking about themselves. Don't be scared to look for new friends too because believe it or not, there are people out here who want to study, save money and have fun at the same time, you just need to look for them. Once i found good friends my grades, personal well being and social life got better. And trust me those people who you're friends with now, wont be your friends in the near future because once you're no longer useful to them, their going to disappear.
Don't feel bad about their comments cuz from reading your paragraph you've done more than enough for them and ironically they're talking about themselves. Don't be scared to look for new friends too because believe it or not, there are people out here who want to study, save money and have fun at the same time, you just need to look for them. Once i found good friends my grades, personal well being and social life got better. And trust me those people who you're friends with now, wont be your friends in the near future because once you're no longer useful to them, their going to disappear.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically I am starting to get ****ed off because I have the same classes as everyone else, yet I also work 30h a week, volunteer 4h a week and have music/language lessons 6h a week. Even though I'm busy I find time to do homework, do group projects and keep on top of my notes. My friends on the other hand do nothing outside of class, just drink party, go for dinners and do fun activities. I don't care that they're doing interesting stuff while I'm "boring" (that's what they call me) but I need the money to pay through uni. What bothers me is that they keep saying I don't spend enough time with them when all they ever do is go to expensive places they know I can't afford or they're on their phones/making jokes about me. I used to cook/bake a lot at the start of uni and give it to them for free as friends do but now that I have way less time they keep saying I'm boring and don't give them anything anymore.
When it comes to school, they never work on projects until the day before it's due by which point I've done 90% of the work yet they always say see it wasn't that bad. We got it done. When it comes to notes and exams, they don't do them until about a week or few days before a test and then they keep asking me for notes/questions. I used to say ok, but now I'm saying no sorry and they're trying to make me feel crap. "What are friends for if not helping each other. " or "I've been feeling a bit off lately so I couldn't do it." None of them care that I sleep 4h a night so I'm sleep deprived, tired, have headaches most of the time.
I feel used and horrible about the situation ending up this way because we used to be friends but I think it was only because they were benefiting off me paying for things, giving them things and letting them off. now that I stand my ground, they're saying I don't care about them and I'm a horrble friends. I don't know what to do.
When it comes to school, they never work on projects until the day before it's due by which point I've done 90% of the work yet they always say see it wasn't that bad. We got it done. When it comes to notes and exams, they don't do them until about a week or few days before a test and then they keep asking me for notes/questions. I used to say ok, but now I'm saying no sorry and they're trying to make me feel crap. "What are friends for if not helping each other. " or "I've been feeling a bit off lately so I couldn't do it." None of them care that I sleep 4h a night so I'm sleep deprived, tired, have headaches most of the time.
I feel used and horrible about the situation ending up this way because we used to be friends but I think it was only because they were benefiting off me paying for things, giving them things and letting them off. now that I stand my ground, they're saying I don't care about them and I'm a horrble friends. I don't know what to do.
Hello,
I hope you're well. This doesn't sound like the nicest situation unfortunately. First thing that rang alarm bells for me was your lack of sleep, try and sleep more and if that means you have to reduce some of your hobby / working hours I feel it would be beneficial.
The only thing I can really say is only do what you want to do, stand your ground and never let someone make you feel uncomfortable for what you choose to do.
If you do not want to help them with their work or share your notes, that's absolutely fine. I understand why you would feel used too it seems like such an awful situation. I would suggest that maybe, you ask them if they want to study together at the library etc instead of just using your work to get yours done as it keeps it light and cheerful.
I hope the situation gets better for you
Jade
Cov Uni Student Ambassador
They sound like incredibly toxic, inconsiderate friends who don't have an ounce of emotional intelligence or care about you and your feelings at all. Get rid of them right away.
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