Not sure if this this SA or something else?

Hey guys hope you are fine, so I have been struggling on defining/ putting a word or label on what happened to on October 2021. I met this guy on a dating app and we agreed to have sex with a condom and agreed to it saying I will bring it and lube. We meet in the same week and once I met him he seemed fine but just a bit weird but it got weirder when he entered my room. By weird I mean he started sniffing something and I asked what is that and he said it’s poppers and at this time I didn’t know what it was. He offering it to me multiple times but I said no. We started to kissing and foreplay it seemed all good until it came to penetration. I asked him did you bring a condom and he said no and I told him I can’t do it without a condom. He persuaded me in to doing it without it. I l felt uncomfortable and afraid that he will force it inside me so I just said yes out of fear. I remember it hurting a lot and asking for a break as he said we didn’t lube. Thankfully he the only thing he agreed to us *** in side me but that he would *** in my mouth instead. When he left the first thought that came into my head was that I ‘ just got hiv from a stranger’ and I remember being so helpless and when I asked for help from a guy I knew he said you did this to yourself and he didn’t care. I went to a&e but they weren’t able to give me any help but I did have lovely chat with a nurse that assured me I won’t get Hiv. Within the next 72 hours I was able to go a clinic and get on medication. The first friend I told seemed to be supportive but looking at it she wasn’t. She later used that against me saying ‘ at least I didn’t have sex with a guy that has HIV’. I later fell in depression not relating to this issue but about my abusive childhood. Since that day I haven’t been able to put a name to it what happened to me and sometime I tell myself that I agreed to it even though I didn’t. I’m not sure if it’s sexual Assault , rape or anything else. Something I use sexual assault to describe but in the back of my head I think that it’s disrespectful to call it that and it’s disrespectful to people that it has happened to. I’m truly lost and if any person is able to help please message or leave a comment.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I'm sorry you feel the way you do just know that your friend isn't really your friend they sound so unsupporative and mean. Please reconsider who is in your circle. Secondly i'm not trying to make you feel bad but you have to becareful who you sleep around with could you just never know, we all know that someone's sexual health staus is visable, so sometime you have to treat someone like they have hiv or etc. It's kind of like the first lockdown, everyone in the hospitals treated patients like they had covid as this was a safety precauction for staff and fellow peoples safety.

Lastly NEVER EVER make someone pressurise you into having sex without protection, it's your body and it's your choice what you want to do with it. Please learn from this, don't let it bring you down but instead let this be a teaching me to love yourself a bit more, but you first at all times and be selfish in that way. No one has control over you, you have the right to make choices. This world we live in is a creul one but at the same time we have to be careful of what we do, what we share with people and also our choices. I know you don't know me but please make a promise to yourself that you'll be careful in the future. I'm not trying to sound or be hard on you but i learnt my own lesson from using dating apps- i will cut my story short but i met a guy via a dating at just for a date nothing else and we had dinner at his, he S****** Abused me and i felt hopeless but i learnt from it and promised myself i will never meet a stranger indoors regardless of who they are. My advised to you moving on is take a sexual health screening test every 6 months just for your own safety, also if you get into a serious relationship with someone just try and find out about their sexual staus as this is also important. Learn how to love yourself a bit and don't let anyone make choices for you. Also listen to your gut and run with it, forgive yourself but learn from it. Overall it sound like you were pressrised and you didn't want to dispoint the person so you went for it instead of thinking about the consequences. I promise you it will get better and i'm sorry for what has happened to you please don't let it bring you down try and speak to a therapist or GP x Wishing you all the best xxxx