I started smoking/vaping and I'm not sure if it's taken over my life.

We had a situation come through our local ED (Emergency Department). They had me working in the department as one of the first I've worked by myself nursing (I decided I'm going to pursue my BSN, so I need a little extra schooling). The situation we had about six months ago, there was a terrible accident on one of the local highways in the area. In one of the vehicles, a woman, who was drunk and never should have been driving in the first place, was killed on the scene. In the other vehicle, a guy was driving, bring his three daughters home from a dance recital. He unfortunately died in hospital. His three daughters were injured and were considered in serious condition. I was one of the nurses that had to go into the room and inform his wife that he died and that the three girls were injured but will make it but needed surgery.

I was sent outside to take a break along with two other nurses. One of them is a known vaper. She could see the stress all over my face while we sat outside the Emergency Department entrance. She offered me her vape pen and I took a couple of hits off of it. I instantly felt so much better after taking those couple of puffs. Over the course of the shift, I went out with her a few more times and took more puffs off her vape. Eventually, it got to where we'd just take breaks together and I'd take several puffs with her. Also, when my co-worker, who vapes, wasn't there, I'd take to bumming a cigarette off of a co-worker who smokes cigarettes. Not the best...but an alternative.

Over the last six months I've been doing this, I have noticed that I can't go much more than an hour without thinking about needing to vape or smoke (in fact, I'm puffing on a sub ohm vape pen as we speak). Am I just as addicted as any other smoker at this point or is there hope I can still quit before I'm too far gone to where it will be nearly impossible to quit smoking?

We had a situation come through our local ED (Emergency Department). They had me working in the department as one of the first I've worked by myself nursing (I decided I'm going to pursue my BSN, so I need a little extra schooling). The situation we had about six months ago, there was a terrible accident on one of the local highways in the area. In one of the vehicles, a woman, who was drunk and never should have been driving in the first place, was killed on the scene. In the other vehicle, a guy was driving, bring his three daughters home from a dance recital. He unfortunately died in hospital. His three daughters were injured and were considered in serious condition. I was one of the nurses that had to go into the room and inform his wife that he died and that the three girls were injured but will make it but needed surgery.

I was sent outside to take a break along with two other nurses. One of them is a known vaper. She could see the stress all over my face while we sat outside the Emergency Department entrance. She offered me her vape pen and I took a couple of hits off of it. I instantly felt so much better after taking those couple of puffs. Over the course of the shift, I went out with her a few more times and took more puffs off her vape. Eventually, it got to where we'd just take breaks together and I'd take several puffs with her. Also, when my co-worker, who vapes, wasn't there, I'd take to bumming a cigarette off of a co-worker who smokes cigarettes. Not the best...but an alternative.

Over the last six months I've been doing this, I have noticed that I can't go much more than an hour without thinking about needing to vape or smoke (in fact, I'm puffing on a sub ohm vape pen as we speak). Am I just as addicted as any other smoker at this point or is there hope I can still quit before I'm too far gone to where it will be nearly impossible to quit smoking?

The fact that you "can't go much more than an hour without thinking about needing to vape or smoke" doesn't bode well.

If you resist the desire to vape/smoke, what happens? Are you able to overcome it? Do you experience any symptoms of withdrawal which might indicate a physically dependency?

How about tolerance? Do you find that you need to vape/smoke more and more in order for it to have the desired effect? This would indicate that your body is becoming tolerant which would again indicate a physically dependency.

Hopefully it's just habitual right now.

It's becoming more of a need for me to smoke/vape than that of want. When I go like to the cinema to see a movie with friends, those of us who smoke/vape, will go out shortly before we need to be in line to get tickets to go see whatever it is we want to see and do our thing. My friends, who are more addicted than I am are usually climbing the walls by the time an hour-and-a-half-long movie is done. I'm usually feeling the effects like a gnawing feeling in my gut, a headache, and I get irritable.

Yes, I do feel like I have more of a tolerance to it. I smoke probably 5-6 cigarettes a day if I have the analogs. If I'm vaping, I puff probably around that. Some days a bit more and some days a bit less. A few weeks ago, I picked up a stomach bug from hospital and I ended up smoking less than when I'm feeling decent. I usually go somewhere around a half hour without smoking another one. I also notice I inhale the chemicals deeper into my lungs and hold it in longer to get saturation.