Making Friends

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Reply 1

KK_

11

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hey! That sounds like a difficult situation so I’m sorry about that.

Have you tried joining any clubs or societies, or taking part in charity events? That way you could get to know lots of new people who have similar interests to you. If there are none you like, do you have the option to start one?

You could also try and speak to some people in your classes, or anyone who is by themselves, and just see if they would be willing to do anything with you. You might be surprised that people are more than willing to welcome new people into their groups. It may seem a bit awkward at first but it will definitely be worth it!

I don’t really have any more advice (or know of what I’ve given is good enough lol) but I hope you manage to work something out - good luck!

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear this. Making real connections and friendships can be challenging and will take time, but hopefully the advice you receive here can help you!

Firstly - while it seems like everyone has solid social circles and have found their people, university/college friendships are very fluid and change all the time. It's still early on in the year, so most of these people have only just gotten to know each other! Don't be afraid to talk to new people or be in a new group. A lot of people would be more than happy to meet someone new.

Does your college offer any sports, societies or clubs? Finding one that you would be interested in joining might be a nice idea, or even joining a taster session (if they are offered) might be nice to try something new.

Similarly, are there any opportunities for volunteering through your college or in your area? I volunteer quite regularly and have met some great people with common interests.

Another idea would be to look into part-time work. Does your college offer anything like this or are there opportunities in your area?

Lastly, don't be afraid to just talk to people! On your course would be the easiest since you see them the most. You could ask questions about the content, compliment them, just say 'hi', or even ask them if they want to grab a coffee/study with you.

I hope this helps and best of luck,

Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 3

De Montfort University

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hey there!

Starting college can be exciting, but it's also common to feel disappointed or left out in terms of your social life. It's great that you've been friendly to everyone you meet and have already made some great connections. Cutting off toxic friendships is a brave decision that shows you prioritise your well-being.

Finding your place and making good friends takes time. Remember that it's normal for others to have formed groups already, but that doesn't mean you won't find your own circle. Keep putting yourself out there, whether it's joining societies, attending events, or engaging in activities that align with your interests. This can lead you to meet people with similar passions and values.

Additionally, don't be afraid to reach out and initiate conversations with classmates. Many students are also looking to expand their social circle and make new friends. Building relationships takes effort and time, so be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process.

Lastly, consider exploring online communities or social media groups related to your college or interests. This can provide opportunities to connect with others, even if there is no common room or designated gathering space on campus.
Remember, adjusting to college life takes time, and it's okay to feel this way. Stay open-minded, be yourself, and keep seeking opportunities for connection.

Best of luck, and I hope you find your place and make meaningful friendships soon!

Ilya :smile:

(edited 3 months ago)

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hi there,

It can be hard making friends, especially when you feel like everybody else has found their group.

I would say, as others have said, to try and approach people in your classes. When you sit next to someone, ask them how they're finding the course, have they done the assignment etc as this is a starting point to taking to people and getting to know them. You may find this leads to talking to them more and forming a friendship.

Something that I have found is that friendship groups change a lot- people fall out, or grow apart and by trying to start conversations with more people, you may find that actually they aren't that happy in their friendship group.

When it seems like everyone is getting on well and doing things without you, it can make it harder to approach people but most people are willing to make new friends too! Especially in college which is a new environment, most people want to make friends so will put in the effort to talk to you if they feel an effort is being made with them. Sometimes you have to make the first move which can be tricky but very worth it!

I hope this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your situation, making friends at University can be tough sometimes. It is good to hear that you have made attempts to make friends though.

I would recommend joining societies that interest you. This is a good way to meet people with similar hobbies and interests, you may find it easier to strike a conversation with them. (You should also try going to societies consistently so you get to meet the same people from time to time).

Speaking to people on your course is also a good way to make friends, especially those in the same class as you.
I would also recommend looking at anything your College hosts~ for example particular events, networking socials etc.

Good luck!
Chloe
University of Kent student Rep

Reply 6

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

11

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hey, everyone. I started college 3 months ago and am kind of disappointed with my social life. I've been as nice as possible to everyone I meet, and have met some really great people, don't get me wrong. However, 2 of those 6 turned out to be horrible friends, who I cut off. Now I'm left in a situation where I feel everyone has found their group, and I haven't really found my place yet. I see different social circles going out and doing fun things, and I'm not because I have no one to do them with. How can I make some more good friends? Any advice? Cheers! It's worth noting I to one of the biggest colleges in the country, so I only ever see people in my classes, really! There's no common room or such.

Hey there!
To begin with, I want to commend you for reaching out and sharing your ideas. It might be a little daunting to start college, particularly in terms of establishing your social network. You're not alone in this experience, and it's quite natural to feel this way.
I completely understand your perspective, and I want you to know that developing friendships is a journey that takes time. It's wonderful that you've already connected with some wonderful folks, despite a few hiccups along the road. Isn't it better to prioritize quality over quantity?
It can be difficult when your primary social interactions are with other students in your classes, especially when you're attending one of the largest universities in the nation. Here are some helpful recommendations which personally help me. Look into any associations or clubs that fit with your hobbies or interests. It's a great opportunity to network with like-minded individuals outside of the classroom. Look out for events that your college sponsors. Events such as lecture series, sporting competitions, or cultural festivals offer great chances to socialize with diverse individuals. Joining or starting study groups can have two purposes. You get the opportunity to interact intellectually and even form friendships with your peers. Investigate forums or internet platforms associated with your college. There may occasionally be online forums where students can talk about their interests and plans. Never be afraid to start a discussion with someone in your class. You never know who might be searching for a companion and experiencing similar feelings.
Recall that establishing friendships takes time, so practice patience with yourself. You've only just begun your college career, and you'll have many chances to meet amazing individuals. Cheers to upcoming new experiences and friendships! Please get in touch if you ever need someone to talk to or more guidance. 😊🎓🌟
I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards,
Mrunali Kalbhor,
University of Sunderland Student ambassador

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