How young is too young?

Ariel4

yeah i went out with someone who was 20 when i was your age. admitley, he turned out to be a dick and somewhat socially backward imo. and one of my friends said "dude thats a bit wrong" when i told him about it, lol.

most of my mates were supportive i got people who didnt know me and one of my "friends" calling me a slag

Reply 23

need_money

9

angel D

im 15 and i've been out wiv someone who was 21

Why is no one acting shocked at that? When i said i was with a 22 year old everyone was "disgusted" :rolleyes:

Reply 24

technik

Alcohol5%

How younf is too young for going out with someone? Obviously a 2 year gap between a 16 yr old and a 14 yr old is bigger than a two year gap between a 22yr old and a 24 yr old.

And what about sex? Should an age gap be ignored, even if one person is perhaps legally too young?

in the years before you leave school (16/17/18) anything more than 3 years is possibly too much.

for sex...im not sure how you can make the last statement you did. if the person isnt of legal age, they shouldnt have sex. its fairly simple.

Reply 25

technik

angel D

im 15 and i've been out wiv someone who was 21

hmm...no

Reply 26

Niaya

technik

hmm...no

wot do u mean by hmm no

Reply 27

2 5 +

I don't post here much. But... what the feck?

How can you put a formula on a relationship, on love? You're not being serious, right? Tell me you're not being serious.

(If you're not, your irony was slow in presenting itself. And for that I apologise in advance.)

How would you work out a formula like that, anyway? Teams of balding science-types watch underage sex, and measure the time taken for it to screw up the younger person's mind? And what about people with half-years in their age? Do they work it out with decimals, and carry a stopwatch, until "they" say they can do it?

Hmmm. Science is fun.

im totally serious, but im not acting like its an exact science. its just like the rule of 3 - an observation.
nothing in this world is set, but what we do is look at the majority - and for the majority i think my ickle rule of thumb works quite well.

Reply 28

need_money

Why is no one acting shocked at that? When i said i was with a 22 year old everyone was "disgusted" :rolleyes:

in some groups in society its perfectly acceptable to date people alot younger/older than yourself.
See it all the time on the council estate i live on. 13 yo girls with 17yo boyfriends.
And this guy i used to work with who was 34 was dating a 15yo school girl - her mum would even let him stay over. absolutely sick, not elast because he was fat, ugly, and had vicious BO.

Reply 29

Niaya

foolfarian

in some groups in society its perfectly acceptable to date people alot younger/older than yourself.
See it all the time on the council estate i live on. 13 yo girls with 17yo boyfriends.
And this guy i used to work with who was 34 was dating a 15yo school girl - her mum would even let him stay over. absolutely sick, not elast because he was fat, ugly, and had vicious BO.

ok im not a slag
i live on a private estate type thing (not council but not posh)
i have overprotective parents (they flipped)

Reply 30

need_money

9

foolfarian

in some groups in society its perfectly acceptable to date people alot younger/older than yourself.
See it all the time on the council estate i live on. 13 yo girls with 17yo boyfriends.
And this guy i used to work with who was 34 was dating a 15yo school girl - her mum would even let him stay over. absolutely sick, not elast because he was fat, ugly, and had vicious BO.

Well its acceptable where i stay...well apart from with my parents because if they found out i had been sleeping with anyone let alone a guy 7 years older than me, they would hit the roof, but yeah apart from them...But when i mentioned it on here everyone was like "OMG! Thats sick!" and all that crap. :frown:

Reply 31

lessthanthree

The american system regarding age gaps and stuff is quite clever, I thought. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but it seems to eliminate the majority of old man and young girl sexual relationships.

Personally, I think that since the trials of lower age of consents in Europe have been successful, Britain ought to give that a try, but with a maybe 14 age of consent. I haven't quite worked out the ins, outs and loopholes of my proposed strategy, though.

Which countries are experimenting a lower age of consent? I don't believe there is an american system of age gaps...

To be honest, the age of consent is fine as it is. The ignorance of British kids when it comes to sexuality is proof enough that the age of consent is already considerably low. The fact that the UK has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy is a complete embarassment for British society. It just shows we're too upper lipped to educate our kids but we let them get up to what they like. It's seriously scary the number of young kids who don't know what they're doing. They think they understand what a vagina and a penis is, and away they go and stumble at every hurdle on the way...

Reply 32

lessthanthree

I mean, you can't be diddling U18s if you're over...but Oh christ I don't know, I am sure there was something about the guy not having to go to jail if he was 16-18 and the girl was too. blah, ionno.

Well, places like austria, croatia, france, germany, iceland, italy, slovenia, spain...etcetc

really?

Anyway, no way can that kind of age of consent change be introduced in the UK. There are already enough underage kids who don't know what they're doing. In addition, to turning themselves into sluts who don't know what they're doing, the consequences for society are important too (ridiculously high teenage pregnancy in the UK). When you hear 15 year old girls who get pregnant and then go "but I thought it would be ok if we used a condom" or "I trusted him. He seemed like a nice guy...", and then these same people claim that they're mature enough to be in a sexual relationship :rolleyes:

At least in other countries, the kids are brought up knowing the signification of sex. Sure there are incidents in all countries but generally, teenagers are more mature and accept the consequences of their acts. Whereas in the UK, it's "hey I know where my penis/vagina is. I'm mature enough to go have fun".

Reply 33

lessthanthree

mm, yes. spain's is 13.

Austria's got punched down to 14 because they were discriminating about gay sex, etc etc.

I think the attitudes to sex there are far better than they are here. The British majority are still very prudish when it comes to sex education, openness about children having sex, parent-child talks.

On the continent, things are a bit more freely thrown around in general family banter, and that's why we're in such a rut - kids don't want to ask for help, suffer their possible pregnancies/stds in silence and don't get help until it's often too late. [plus some are too stupid to get over themselves and buy some condoms because older people have a condescending and "tut tut" attitude to them buying them]. Personally I think if you're not mature enough to buy your own condoms then you shouldn't be having sex...but whatever, kids still will, because they're dumb.

I think if the age of consent was lowered, it'd put the wind up some parents and teacher to start teaching the important things about STDs and Pregnancy earlier, and get kids used to being more vocal and open about sex, and their opinions/decisions regarding it.

It'll take a while to have a decent impact on teen preg/std rates, as it's extremely hard to try to alter the opinions and ways of an ageing nation, but I think in time, with earlier and more adequate contraceptive and good practice advice, kids will be more clued up.. and if they're going to insist on doing it at 12, at least they're doing it at 12 protected and better informed of the decisions they're making.

bleh

Not using condoms when there's a risk of STDs is extreme and is only the case of extremely retarded people.
But even when you use protection (especially if the only means of contraception is a condom), you need to accept that pregnancy is always possible. If you can't imagine being pregnant, if you wouldn't be able to handle such a situation, then you shouldn't be having sex. Doing an act and not accepting the consequences is incredibly immature. I'm not saying you should be ready to bring up a kid the day you start having sex but if you just block out the possibility of becoming pregnant or catching an STD, then you're heading the wrong way.
As for 12 years old, that seriously grosses me out. The huge majority of 12 year olds aren't even fully "formed".

Reply 34

lessthanthree

I know, but there's this little sad part of me [near my knee] which is resigned to the fact that they are and will continue to do it.

Then I looked at cases of 11-14 year old mothers and most of their excuses were "i didn't know you could get pregnant first time," "I thought it'd go away if I ignored it," and the best one ever..."I couldn't 'get served' for condoms so I used this plastic bag"

Personally, I don't think that you can say that they'd still continue to do it if they were more informed.
A lot of people, especially girls end up doing it because they haven't yet learnt what sex is and what it represents. Before having sex, there's more to learn about it than just where your penis or vagina is located. For a lot of girls at ages such as 14 or 15, it's something you do to get liked by the boys, and to become popular (only to find out later everyone thinks you're a slut in effect).
I mean if you look at the cases or abused kids, they end up thinking that having sex/or whatever abusive act, is perfectly normal at their age. Personally I think there's a lot to learn about sex before you go for it.

Reply 35

lessthanthree

I know, but there's this little sad part of me [near my knee] which is resigned to the fact that they are and will continue to do it.

Then I looked at cases of 11-14 year old mothers and most of their excuses were "i didn't know you could get pregnant first time," "I thought it'd go away if I ignored it," and the best one ever..."I couldn't 'get served' for condoms so I used this plastic bag"

I think the good qualifiers are:-
when you're not embarrased to buy condoms in the shop (i did it for first time a few weeks back i must admit - when iw as 17 i never used to dare!)
and
'Can they look after themselves, let alone a child.
Gamblers must always have the funds to cover any loses. So people having sex must have the maturity to cope with any pregnancy that might result.

Reply 36

lessthanthree

I know, but there's this little sad part of me [near my knee] which is resigned to the fact that they are and will continue to do it.

Then I looked at cases of 11-14 year old mothers and most of their excuses were "i didn't know you could get pregnant first time," "I thought it'd go away if I ignored it," and the best one ever..."I couldn't 'get served' for condoms so I used this plastic bag"

yeh but no but yeh but no but.

Reply 37