Do All Lawyers Snort Coke?

A friend of mine, who's a freshman in one of the top law schools in Britain told me about this culture of drugs among the high-flying lawyers of London, working in the City (and not just).
He's attended at least eight lawyers-only parties over the past year and in all of them (without exception!) the guys would snort coke! He says this culture is so widespread that it's beyond belief. He fears that he'll have to become one of them if he wants to fit in and he's getting very depressed about this. Why is it like this? And is it true that all successful lawyers snort? Someone said that snorting coke is an American institution, but then how did it find its way into this country? Aren't the Brits suppposed to be a total opposite of our fellowmen across the Atlantic?

tl;dr

I think 'coke snorting' is one of the level 2 modules

I hope so.

It beats injecting heroin, at least you never have to worry about finding a vein.

I'm gonna guess that the kind of men who go to lawyer only parties are like Patrick Bateman without the accent (or the homicidal tendencies).

Reply 5

Cowtipper

12

Yes, all of them.
In fact, it's a compulsory element of passing the bar.

Reply 6

SnowAngel

2

I didn't know any of them did so i'd assume no..

Reply 7

Mastermind`

17

I thought it was all Oxbridge graduates. :hmmmm:

Reply 8

Rubaiyat

3

thats impossible because all the threads on tsr say that anybody who has ever taken drugs will amount to nothing and fail at life and end up homeless and working class

Reply 9

Puma

15

Its one of their Modules. Straight after Drug and Possesion lecture is a lecture of the fine art of "bashing" the Coke, then a finely rolled £5 (students remember) is used and shared amongst the students to snort it.
Biggest lines gets the best marks. Anything below 40% of a bag of Coke is a fail.

Reply 10

wannabe mexican

12

My lawyer brother doesn't snort coke.

Reply 11

Crispin

Nah. The more ethical ones chomp magic mushrooms.

Reply 12

DuggieNumber20

OP

Phantasm

It beats injecting heroin, at least you never have to worry about finding a vein.

I'm gonna guess that the kind of men who go to lawyer only parties are like Patrick Bateman without the accent (or the homicidal tendencies).

As soon as you posted this, Phantasm, calls starting pouring in from as far as China, and from as close as Wales, with people DEMANDING to know who the hell Patrick Bateman is.
So, in order to reassure people and to calm them down, I'd like to issue the following statement:

Patrick Bateman is a fictional character, the antihero and narrator of the novel American Psycho. He's a good looking guy, and been married twice before discovering (at the age of 24) that he is gay. He went to elocution lessons in Australia to get rid of his Texan accent. After this success, he became employed with "Starbucks" (Kuala Lumpur branch) and makes occasional weekend-shopping trips to Brunei with his partner Nyam Ki Moon.

Reply 13

SoapyDish

14

Crispin

Nah. The more ethical ones chomp organic, fairtrade magic mushrooms.

Fixed

Reply 14

sleekchic

18

Yes they do, it's an important module introduced by the SRA and was recently made into the 8th compulsory module. It's also being thought of as a way of recruting new law students, from next year, all applicants will be made to snort coke if they want to have a chance of getting above 15 on their LNAT and if they refuse they are showed the door immediately. Your friend is absolutely right, 9 parties accuately reflect the thousands of lawyers in the UK. :judge:

Reply 15

1721

14

have you never seen carlito's way?

Reply 16

Pialamo

I'm sure most of them do, along with most of the upper class or well of people, but the reason that everyone out of those 9 parties did is probably because the people who don't snort coke are the ones who don't go to the coke parties?

Reply 17

Crispin

SoapyDish

A wild Pentland psilocybin mushroom risotto with fresh rocket salad drizzled in Leary sauce (lysergic acid diethlamyde and balsamic vinegar), served with a stone-baked organic cannabis ciabatta.

Fixed.

Reply 18

SoapyDish

14

Crispin

Fixed.

That sounds delicious! What's the thing you said in the salad dressing? Like, a street name or whatever...

On topic: I remember reading somewhere that a line of coke has become the new after-dinner mint at middle class dinner parties. It's not just lawyers!

Reply 19

DuggieNumber20

OP

sleekchic

Yes they do, it's an important module introduced by the SRA and was recently made into the 8th compulsory module. It's also being thought of as a way of recruting new law students, from next year, all applicants will be made to snort coke if they want to have a chance of getting above 15 on their LNAT and if they refuse they are showed the door immediately. Your friend is absolutely right, 9 parties accuately reflect the thousands of lawyers in the UK. :judge:

Darling, there might be thousands of lawyers in the UK, but there are only a few Lawyers (with a capital 'L') !
And if all it takes to become a Lawyer is to snort coke, then so be it! As long as we have them, the law is on our side!

It's just like Billy Flynn (the lawyer in Chicago musical)! He snorts BUT he lets his beautiful long-legged clients get away with murder, right?
If Billy Flynn never snorted, he'd have never remarked about the jury in such a way:

Give 'em the old three-ring-circus
Stun and stagger them
When your in trouble go into your dance
Though you are stiffer than a girder
They'll let you get away with murder

Also:
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle them
Give them a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous

Give them the old flim-flam-flummox
Fool and fracture them
How can they hear the truth above the roar
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel

How would he be able to come up with a stuff like this if he wasn't high on coke, right?
Oh! If only we had more lawyers like Billy Flynn in London!

Do All Lawyers Snort Coke?

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