Original post by ChellamWell said, Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .
You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of india , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it's like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, "I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It's selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.
This culture is different from the West.
But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.
Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family.
The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse.
Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi'. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for?
Western Culture - call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.
In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team.
Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason
Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils... westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married... and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric... exact opposite to the Tamil .
But in the west this isn't the case... People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance... reasons for divorce like... I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love...etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that's the major fear of every Tamil families ...when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner.
In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life...and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid's marriage life with someone from a culture...which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person...similar to gambling with their life....Celibacy is key to Tamil culture. As you said earlier , the westernized Tamils are a shame for our people(lack of respect for our culture and parents) which is why most of them end up in a divorce..