Part 2 of Losing My Best Friend
I decided to separate the parts because it would be too long in one blog post so I have split it into two as there is a lot to cover here. The excitement of having a cool and popular person beside me was one of the best things to happen to me. We attended lessons together and I really understood her as a person. I felt bad for hating her and hoped that she would forgive me but she thought it was absurd and forgot all about it. Schoolwork became interesting to me and while I stormed ahead of her, her illness began to take its toll on her. Sometimes she was off for a whole month and other times, it was just a simple cough and cold that made her bed bound. When we began Year 11, I began to see a different side to her. She would probe me about how I was feeling but when I did the same to her, she would brush it aside and forget about it – as if she didn’t want me to worry. I became fearful as she stopped coming to school and worried in case she got worse. I knew her condition meant she had a life expectancy of just over twenty at least but I never wanted to lose her. Over Christmas 2013, she became poorly with a very bad cold. It became the start of the horrifying journey she endured. She kept telling me that she would be fine but I knew inside something was wrong.
In January, we got kicked out of our GCSE Drama class as we kept missing lessons but it was my favourite subject and it was never our fault. The school made the decision to revoke our qualification so from October 2013 – April 2014, there was no point even attending lessons as we weren’t getting any qualification from it so it left us with four potential GCSEs. Whilst I was angry over that, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with her. When Easter arrived on 4th April 2014,we exchanged our goodbyes, for the final time. We parted on such good terms and I never expected to never see her again. In Easter, she became more poorly. She went to a hospice and was supposed to return. I just thought she wasn’t feeling well, like an ordinary person would. Little did I know, it would tear her apart and take away her life. On 2nd May 2014, I had just come into school when my teachers pulled me aside for a chat.
They sat me down and told me to prepare for the worst – she was dying and there was nothing she could do. I knew it was coming but I never expected it, I felt so selfish but I knew she had to go, she was in pain and I had to let her go. Whenever she would message me, I ignored it because I couldn’t speak to her, it broke my heart. But I know that I should have. They told me not to tell anyone so I tried my best not to mention it. Whenever people asked me if I was ok, I would stay silent and shut the world out – I wasn’t okay. The last few months before the summer holidays were a mess, I couldn’t concentrate in my exams and knew I’d fail them – I had given up. But when we broke up for summer, that was a different story. I wrote her a letter explaining what had happened. But what happened next, would tear my heart apart immensely.