Depression Society MKVI

lol.. Now doing the CLR part of my dissertation... oh the joys of uni....

All I can say is it sounds like a hell of a better idea for you than the group your psychologist suggested.

I know all I do in this thread is complain, whine, moan and rarely reply to other people with advice and I'm sorry. I never really know what to say to people but I do read all the posts in the society and according to TSR I've given too much rep to most people in here so I can't give anymore out so sorry about that. DepSoc hug

Feeling so low at the moment, thinking about and researching stuff I probably shouldn't be. I think I've pretty much given up with everything so now waiting for the inevitable. I'm not in immediate danger, I think I'm just thinking about everything in far too much detail. Wish I could sleep to get away from these thoughts but my body doesn't seem to like me doing what I want to any more.

aw, that's okay is why the thread and the wonderful people in it are here, to support each other

ah, I have done the whole researching bad things before, really not a good idea unless you find something that puts you off what you are looking at! sleeping can be hard when you are feeling low I know just try and find something to relax you a bit or distract you from the thoughts!

Thanks
Yeah, don't really want to mess my sleeping pattern up either, I imagine it would make me feel worse. I'm psyching myself up to make a cup of tea and then I'll watch some Friends I think.
Also, it seems I had some rep left for you.

I know all I do in this thread is complain, whine, moan and rarely reply to other people with advice and I'm sorry. I never really know what to say to people but I do read all the posts in the society and according to TSR I've given too much rep to most people in here so I can't give anymore out so sorry about that. DepSoc hug

Feeling so low at the moment, thinking about and researching stuff I probably shouldn't be. I think I've pretty much given up with everything so now waiting for the inevitable. I'm not in immediate danger, I think I'm just thinking about everything in far too much detail. Wish I could sleep to get away from these thoughts but my body doesn't seem to like me doing what I want to any more.

Nice to meet you as well, and sorry we didn't chat properly, I only really 'woke up' / became less shy quite late in the evening. Look forward to seeing you again though

I'm currently a first year in university. My university expects all returning students to move out from halls into private accommodation for year 2 and 3. However, I'd like to stay in halls but only returning students with health problems or medical conditions are allowed to stay. Would severe anxiety/depression make a strong case for my housing application or should I not bother with it?

Just thought I would post to say sorry for not posting recently. I have been reading but I just didn't know what to post and I feel bad for not posting and trying to help others like I used to.

I doubt you did, but in case anyone did wonder where I was, I am still here.

I hope that everyone is as ok as they can be and that those who are going to London and Birmingham have a great time.

This is probably my last post on this thread under this account as I am creating another account after my request to change my username was denied (my username is an old nickname that friends have suddenly started using again and I am feeling a little paranoid).

x

Hi guys

A update: My doctors appointment was a weird experience... I was so nervous that i was actually laughing as I told her that my mood was getting worse. But she must have seen through the nervous laughter and my horrendous incoherent babble (I could barely put sentences together) and has given me antidepressants and referred me for some therapy.. (not entirely sure what yet..apparently they triage it and then decide based upon your individual case or something?) I don't even really know what kinds of therapy there is apart from the cbt and the counselling

My only problem now is I'm terrified to actually start taking these tablets... I'm really really concerned about side effects and what not!

Hey sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

I'm really not sure about seeing a doctor. I know some doctors and they aren't really very supportive on the subject of depression. I can't let my uni know really can I ? There are like 6 weeks left of the course and now after failing a few exams and having a really bad attendance I'm just going to say I'm depressed. It will look of. Either way I am not paying £9k a year for university so looks like I'm done.

I'm not interested in my degree. I just wanted a degree. I mean it's a recession isn't it ? If I drop out without a degree in this job market how am I ever going to get a decent job ?

Funny you should bring up my mum. We spoke on the phone two nights ago and when I said "I'm not even sure if I want to come back" she hit me with the following; you're going to bring my medical condition back, you're the only person in the family who wont have a degree I'll be so ashamed, why are you stressing me out so much ? You'll never get a decent job and then interupted me mid sentence by saying shut up you're staying at university. She called me last night and barely said a word apart from "I don't want to hear you mention this nonsense about dropping out anymore" then hung up ....

I got prescribed sertraline/zoloft on my 2nd appointment. Was that too early?

Was pretty cool to meet everyone yesterday, reading over the thread it's actually really ****ing weird reading people's posts then knowing what they look like and imagining them hunched over in the dark wearing only underpants posting on TSR. Or maybe that's just me


Went to a hearing voices group this morning, in one way it was reassuring to talk to people going through the same thing but on the other hand none of these people work, they're all on benefits and occasionally do volunteer work. It makes me think what if that's my future? I want to be a cop not a bum on benefits forever unable to work (not that they were bums but well yeah ok this hole is getting deeper.......). Also went to the gym but didn't get enough sleep last night (because of someone ) so didn't do too much....damn.

I was doing so well but now exam time is coming up, harsh perfectionism has kicked in and suddenly I am punishing myself to get a First and have become obsessional about everything. My eating is stopping, my running is increasing, tI am driving my housemates nuts with constantly moving things into a certain "perfect" order and panic if somebody has moved things while I have been out. Self-harming also back.
Can't talk to my boyfriend (who has recovered from eating disorder and has been treated for depression) as he's doing a charity hitch to Africa for a month. It doesn't matter how many people are around me, I feel alone, like I have a glass between myself and the rest of the world and I wish I could break it

I love the subject - the content is great. The assignments, exams and my dissertation however are ****e and hard and horrible to do. I've been working on this assignment for weeks now and it's nowhere near finished even though it's 10 short (under 75 words each) explanations of key concepts. It's doing my head in And after this is done, I have two more to do, each 2500 words. Due within a week of each other, first one due a fortnight today. Then four exams.

I got a cat

Been petting him for about 2 hours, he's so cute Was kind of shy to begin with but then I got him to jump on my lap where he promptly lay down, stretched out and purred while I rubbed his tummy.

Love cats so much, even when you feel like **** they're there to cheer you up.

Was really awesome meeting everyone. Would be great to have another adventure soon. I think there was talk of maybe an Alton Towers trip? We could get cheap group tickets and everything!

In other news: my girlfriend's uncle has been taken really ill and it's not looking too good - had to leave everyone in Birmingham yesterday with about 10 minutes notice (sorry guys!). My girlfriend and her parents are going on holiday tomorrow morning and they were going with her uncle and aunt but now they're not going so they've invited me. Really want to go but don't know if I can handle a week of being sane at the moment and it feels really weird to be taking the place of somebody who's really ill. Still feeling pretty mneh from the tiredness/mirt sickness/general existence.

On the advice of a couple of DepSoc members, I decided I will go to the GP once again about my possible depression and try harder to get it tackled once and for all. I have my appointment for next Wednesday morning, so let's hope I don't chicken out before then

Hi,

Guess might as well join in the self-deprecating :P

I'm diagnosed with 'anxiety' but it falls into depression sometimes. Generally manifests itself in panicking in social situations (even though I go out a lot) and thinking something terrible has happened/will happen. Often I refuse to go out for days or feel ill when I do. And - like most - the feeling that everything is pointless etc; usually because, rather than I feel I have no point, I don't give a damn about most things society strives towards: material gain, superficial things. Thus, getting paid, buying things, going out, getting a degree for a job and so on just doesn't appeal to me, leaving me quite helpless.

So hi.

I has good news. Me and ViceVersa are going out! (I know, poor her...)

I don't know what I did to persuade her, but I'm sure it had something to do with my beastly skills on FIFA.

welcome to the good side. Have a cookie.

My brother is ill and it's my fault. People keep telling me it, so I know. Not really sure what to do.

Nothing, I'm just very behind on deadlines.

I think I should have posted when I first stumbled across this thread a couple of months back rather than waiting until recently, then I would have felt confident enough to come to the meet up! Are there any other ones planned in the future?

This is my first night on 100mg Sertraline, I hope I don't have any freaky-deaky nightmares or anything like that.

On a side note, typing this out on a Blackberry is a bitch...

But we are your friends So you have to talk to us, or you might get bitten by a wild animal

This might sound really silly but..

Does anyone else find just being out and seeing people a bit of a struggle?

I had to really force myself to go out today and in a way even though it's nice to see people and catch up.. It's totally draining because it's all a big front and there's times when you just want to cry and can't because of the company and what not so you end up fighting it all back and then it all just hits you at once when you're alone.

Sorry I'm moaning

People suck. People really really do. Feel so horrible right now, just had enough. Was meant to be getting distracted but that failed. I have no one. People suck so much I'm crying about it. I've just had enough of everything, surely there's a limit to how much pain one person can withstand? Had enough of everything.

Hey guys, I got home fine and jut resting, still fell kinda ill but I think might be a cold or something as I have a sore throat atm!

I hope you are both okay and I had a great time on the meets

Been called before the progress panel on monday.

They say out of the 60% attendance I need I have 25% which basically means they are going to kick me out.

I have no extenuating circumstances other than saying I'm depressed which I doubt will cut it.

My life is over

Hello everyone!
Haven't posted in quite a while, partly due to the fact that I've been in hospital (psychiatric) since January. I've been in and out and in again, and now I'm having to face a difficult decision: Do I do long-term DBT in hospital or not? It'd be 6 months, and the big problem is that I wouldn't be able to resume my course I was planning to return to my uni in September, but the therapy will take longer than that. (I have borderline pd and schizotypal pd, and my therapist said it would benefit me quite a bit). HALLLP Wat to do...

Just been dumped... bad times.

Its just sad when you get to the point in university where you can no longer drink your way through it .... ah well not much longer to go now

A certain bearded somebody gave me his sore throat too.

I had a pretty damn good time too, only wish other people had been able to stay longer too.

Hey. I managed to get back into halls no problem saying I had severe depression - you just need a doctor's note to back it up and it should be fine. Mental health problems count as disabilities, so your uni has to take them into account if you declare them.



Hope you've been doing ok, and don't feel bad for not having posted - we all need a break from social interaction every once in a while. If you do make a new account, be sure and tell us who you are (I get very confused over all the new accounts and name changes ).

The meet ups were really good fun - hope to see you at the next one.



Really good to hear that the appointment went well, sounds like you got yourself a pretty decent doctor.

CBT is currently the most popular form of therapy that you can get for depression, but there are others too, like mindfulness or DBT (consult with our old friend Wikipedia for more info). If you find yourself getting confused about your treatment, remember you can always just ask your doctor to explain it to you.

I hope you don't get any bad side-effects, but remember that if you do they'll most likely wear off quite soon - although if they don't you can also ask your doctor for help on how to manage them, or if they're really intolerable switch to a different drug altogether.



Hey, don't worry about taking a while to reply - I do the same too sometimes.

You do get doctors who won't take mental health issues seriously, but I'm afraid there's little you can do about that other than give seeing one a go, and then if you're unhappy with how they're treating you ask to see someone else. My first experience with a GP about depression was very negative, but then my last three or four have been really good - you just have to make sure that you don't give up if something goes wrong.

Hmm, if you're not interested in your degree then sticking with it probably wouldn't help matters too much, but that doesn't mean that your only option is to drop out and go on the dole. You could apply to change courses, ask to take time off from uni while you consider your options (I did this and it didn't affect my fees), apply for some kind of shorter, less expensive education course (don't know myself what kinds are available though), volunteer or go travelling... there are tons of different things you could give a go at, you just need to have a think about what might be best for you.

Sounds like your mum really isn't considering how you feel at all. Remember that this is your life not hers though, and you should do things for you not her. And plenty of people get decent jobs without going to uni (plus there's always the option of returning to uni later in life once you have a better idea of where your real interests lie). Don't let her attitude get you down!



Nah, as long as you're not uncomfortable with taking the meds then I'd say that wasn't too early at all (I got prescribed my first antidepressants at my first meeting with my GP because of the state I was in). The sooner you start treatment, the sooner you can start getting better.



Underpants? Who bothers with underpants?

Probably just echoing littleshambles here, but I don't think the other members of your group are likely to be representative of everybody with your kind of illness. You've said they're all older than you - that could mean that they're basically the ones out of their generation of mentally ill people who've failed to get better/adapt well to their illness. If you were say a 50 year old schizophrenic with a good job and a family, would you be particularly likely to bother going along to a meeting about hearing voices. The people at your meeting are the ones who are still in need of that kind of support, and the fact that you're so much younger than them means that you have a long time for things to improve and avoid getting into their position. You might also want to consider that it was probably harder twenty or thirty years ago to get a job when you're labelled as mentally ill, and that society is becoming more open about that kind of thing (albeit slowly).

You're totally capable of achieving amazing things with your life (even if they might result in your being prosecuted for warcrimes ) and you do not have to let the fact that you hear voices stop you.



Stress is always a problem when you're mentally ill. Do you have anyone else who can support you apart from your boyfriend? Unis usually have a counselling service and disabilities office, both of which could help you to get through this time and maybe teach you some skills to help you organise your studying so as to make it less stressful. You can also talk to us whenever you need somewhere to unburden yourself.



You could try asking for an alternative form of assessment if that might help - it's one of the reasonable adjustments that your uni might be expected to make if you're suffering from something like mental illness.



Kittykittykittykittykitty! Awesome news. I wanna come play with him (went to the pet shop yesterday and spent ages staring at all the little cute fluffy things [and also watching the tubs of mealworms and locusts and the like wriggle and squirm [).



I'm always up for more adventures.

Hope the uncle's doing ok, and that you're getting on alright with your in-laws. And have fun on holiday!



Good to hear - let us know how it goes.



Welcome.

I'm the opposite - got depression which sometimes leads on to anxiety. Are you currently getting any help for it? If not it might be time to pay another visit to your doctor.

I'm not too big on society either, but that doesn't have to mean that you have no direction in life. I'm currently at uni studying Russian, not for the prospect of future jobs, but just because I enjoy learning languages and it's a country that interests me. And if I ever make it through uni I'm planning on spending the next few years after that going from country to country teaching English - you don't get paid that much, but it's a good way to see the world. Try thinking about your interests and hobbies (or what they have been when you're not so ill), and see if they can be extended into something bigger like a job or a uni/college course. Doesn't have to be something everyone else wants you to do, or that will necessarily give you great prospects, just something that you're interested in and enjoy.

Also, spending time with people you like is never a waste of time, so maybe try and get closer to your friends or family?



She chose you over me? Congratulations. *sniff*



*narrows eyes* I've got my eye on you.



I'm not sure how his being ill could be your fault, but anyway I think the important thing is to look after yourself and support your brother.



If you haven't already you should really talk to uni and make sure all of you know the full situation - that way you can work together to try and get you through this, and having them know rather than your hiding it might make you feel a bit better.



Yeah, we're already having vague thoughts about the next meet up. My vote goes to camping in Somerset - lots of lovely delicious cider! You're welcome to come along if you like.



I would have thought 'feral' would be slightly more accurate, but either way, beware!



I'd actually be surprised if there were any of us on here who haven't felt like that at one stage or another. Totally sucks, and I'm not sure what we can do about it, but I hope at least you'll feel less alone.



People do suck, but fortunately we aren't people - we're the mentally ill! And you certainly don't have no-one - you have every single one of us here to support you.



A certain bearded somebody gave me his sore throat too.

I had a pretty damn good time too, only wish other people had been able to stay longer too.



If you can get evidence like a doctor's note saying that you're depressed then they have to take that into account. Depression counts as a disability and they're required to make allowances. The best thing to do is be fully honest with them about your situation, and see what options they can offer you. Telling them ways in which you plan to seek help and improve your attendance should also count in your favour.

Good luck.



Hey. :hug: Hope hospital hasn't been too bad for you. With regards to your decision, personally I'd put improving your health first - it's definitely much easier to go back to uni when you're feeling mentally stable. Six months is a fair amount of time, but would be totally worth it if it gets you feeling better.

Have you spoken to your uni about this yet? It might be that you're able to work out some kind of arrangement so that you can still keep your oar in with studying, like distance-learning or studying part-time. Or else maybe you could miss the first semester and come back for the second. Is it German you're doing? If so, there are plenty of ways you can keep up with your language skills (helps if your hospital has internet), like watching TV, reading, doing practise translations, talking on skype and stuff.



Hope you're doing ok.

.

I was prescribed sertraline on Wednesday. I took them on Wednesday and Thursday, but I've stopped since then. My head hurt, I was feeling dizzy, a little bit restless, sick and couldn't really sleep properly.

With exams coming up, I've booked an appointment to try and get some alternative forms of help, mainly just counselling.

no worries Friends is awesome, that and tea should defo cheer you up

thanks for the rep btw, I now have over 400 and a 5th rep bar

Hope you are ok hun, my issue is I am always knackered all day but try not to mess up sleeping pattern and am them awake all night, so can offer no advice just hugs! But Friends and tea is definitely what the doctor should prescribe .... friends is epic

*narrows eyes* I've got my eye on you.

Thank you both
I had tea and watched the grand national, so sad seeing the horses fall. My mum and step-dad are going out tonight, not sure if that's good or bad. I think a night of distracting myself with friends and tea is going to be necessary.

I will definitely mention tea bags being prescribed on the NHS to the next person I see regarding mental health.

Wha? Being a hippy is cool.

Nuh-uh. Going to two depsoc meets in two days is cool.