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Should I tell my mother my unviersity choices?
I have a complicated situation...plz read
my mum reaalllly doesn't want me to go to England where my dad is and her and her family are willing to do anything to stop me
she keeps asking me which unis i'm applying to in the UK
but i'm hesitant to tell her b/c i honestly think (and she would) she'll call up the universities and gently say:
"my daughter is applying and is not 18 yet and we do not agree with his/her application" or "funding wont be provided" or "the applicant is not emotionally quite ready to separate from the family"
then I am sure the university would take that into consideration without discussing it with an applicant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but she's my mother and has the right to know..so should i make up different uni choices to tell her and then say i got another place through clearing
- but what if she does call and they say that person didnt apply here..then my mom would kill me for lying to her (yes, i have a messed up family lol)
OPINIONS? PLZ?
my mum reaalllly doesn't want me to go to England where my dad is and her and her family are willing to do anything to stop me
she keeps asking me which unis i'm applying to in the UK
but i'm hesitant to tell her b/c i honestly think (and she would) she'll call up the universities and gently say:
"my daughter is applying and is not 18 yet and we do not agree with his/her application" or "funding wont be provided" or "the applicant is not emotionally quite ready to separate from the family"
then I am sure the university would take that into consideration without discussing it with an applicant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but she's my mother and has the right to know..so should i make up different uni choices to tell her and then say i got another place through clearing
- but what if she does call and they say that person didnt apply here..then my mom would kill me for lying to her (yes, i have a messed up family lol)
OPINIONS? PLZ?
Scroll to see replies
just tell her the truth.
im pretty sure that she cant phone up the uni and do all that. i think u shoud calm down
just say its one of the unis that do your specific course.
hope it goes well.
im pretty sure that she cant phone up the uni and do all that. i think u shoud calm down
just say its one of the unis that do your specific course.
hope it goes well.
just dont say anything.
that way you're not lying and she (your mom) doesnt know anything.
that way you're not lying and she (your mom) doesnt know anything.
She needs to put your choices of education before hers. It seems selfish to me that she wont let you have freedom of choice for your own education. It may be different if you had a really good uni on your doorstep, but it if theres better ones available in England which you could get into, i would do it.
If you've found a univeristy you like in England, then apply. I would sit your mother down and talk about this in a mature way, as its something she feels very strongly about. Once she realises it is in your best interests to go to an England uni, she should have no problem with it.
Good luck.
If you've found a univeristy you like in England, then apply. I would sit your mother down and talk about this in a mature way, as its something she feels very strongly about. Once she realises it is in your best interests to go to an England uni, she should have no problem with it.
Good luck.
Fundamentally your mum can't stop you applying and while she may be unhappy with it, there's nothing she can do. The universities realise that they are taking on the students and not the parents, so I think if your mum did phone up they'd tell her in the nicest possible way to **** off.
There'll certainly be confidentiality agreements that they have to abide by, and I think part of the UCAS agreement is that unless you specify otherwise, the application can only be discussed with you (the applicant). If I remember from my form (which I only sent off last week) there was a space to nominate someone else in case you were away, but if you don't, UCAS at least can't discuss anything with your mum so she can't find out your UCAS number or any details.
If your mum phones up before you've sent your UCAS off, they'll have no idea who on Earth you are and I highly doubt they'll take note of anything she says.
There'll certainly be confidentiality agreements that they have to abide by, and I think part of the UCAS agreement is that unless you specify otherwise, the application can only be discussed with you (the applicant). If I remember from my form (which I only sent off last week) there was a space to nominate someone else in case you were away, but if you don't, UCAS at least can't discuss anything with your mum so she can't find out your UCAS number or any details.
If your mum phones up before you've sent your UCAS off, they'll have no idea who on Earth you are and I highly doubt they'll take note of anything she says.
I know she's your mother and all, but
1. She kinda will eventually find out where you're going, in case you get into one or more of them, and
2. It's kinda your life, i know i can't judge cos i don't know your mother, but she hasn't really got the right to control your decisions like that, cos then they aren't your decisions then!
1. She kinda will eventually find out where you're going, in case you get into one or more of them, and
2. It's kinda your life, i know i can't judge cos i don't know your mother, but she hasn't really got the right to control your decisions like that, cos then they aren't your decisions then!
be honest
you shouldn't lie to your mother
you shouldn't lie to your mother
your eyes 
you're good 
Knife her in the face and piss in the wound.
Ucas definitely the confidentiality agreement and its against the law for them to discuss your application with anyone even your mum, they cannot even mention if you've applied. But keep your personal id (0123456789) username i.e joebloggs1 and password seperate like in a private correspondence folder or somewhere prrivate like your underwear drawer. Thats where i kept all of my ucas stuff.
Your mum appears to be a control freak. No offence.
Sit down and tell her that you want to have an adult discussion about your options. Listen to what each other has to say and have an adult conversation. You will find by being honest in this situation she will have more respect for you and you get to say how you really feel.
At the end of the day your mum should be proud of you and accept the decision that you are nearly an adult and you need to make your own way in the world.
Your mum might actually be afraid of losing you and thats why she is putting up the resistance. Find out if this is the case and maybe compromise that you will email her every other day with photos of what you have been up to bla bla so that she feels included.
At the end of the day your mum should be proud of you and accept the decision that you are nearly an adult and you need to make your own way in the world.
Your mum might actually be afraid of losing you and thats why she is putting up the resistance. Find out if this is the case and maybe compromise that you will email her every other day with photos of what you have been up to bla bla so that she feels included.
She can't do that, well she could, but it wouldn't get her anywhere - nobody will listen to anyone else but you. Don't worry
I suppose you overreact this thing a bit.
Firstly, I don't think she can do anything against you.
Secondly, I'm sure if you tell her how do you feel and that it's your life, your choice, etc, she'll understand you, and let you go to the uni you've chosen.
I know how you feel, when I told I wanna study in the UK, and even fashion (my father is a serious workaholic businessman whose dream is to see me in his place...) my father was so so angry, he said he won't give me money, he won't let me go, etc, but after I explained him I want to do this and this is MY dream, he became more supportive.
And believe me, you'll need your mother's support to finish uni...and anyway, she's your mother!
Firstly, I don't think she can do anything against you.
Secondly, I'm sure if you tell her how do you feel and that it's your life, your choice, etc, she'll understand you, and let you go to the uni you've chosen.
I know how you feel, when I told I wanna study in the UK, and even fashion (my father is a serious workaholic businessman whose dream is to see me in his place...) my father was so so angry, he said he won't give me money, he won't let me go, etc, but after I explained him I want to do this and this is MY dream, he became more supportive.
And believe me, you'll need your mother's support to finish uni...and anyway, she's your mother!
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