mother cheating father...

Two days ago, I(18m) went on a trip with my mother. We woke up at 2 am and drove to a different location, where my mother was looking for a rental house for work purposes. While driving, she received a call from a guy and their conversation seemed a little intimate, which made me feel uneasy. During the house visits, she kept texting this guy and sending him pictures. Later, we stopped at a hotel to eat and rest. While trying to sleep, my mother received a call which at first I thought it was my father, but actually it was from the guy, and their conversation became increasingly intimate. She talked about my sister(10) in a strange way that suggested something was wrong. I overheard her saying things that my father would already know about her, which did not make sense she explaining it, like my sis' behaviour. My father already knows she is messy at home, so why'd she explain it to him? Eventually, the conversation turned sexual, and my mother seemed to enjoy it despite saying "stop". It was a "stop, but keep going" way.

I am now convinced that my mother is cheating on my father, but I don't know what to do or who to tell. There are others things that made my deduce it, but i don't how to explain clearly.

Reply 1

samixbokuto

perhaps confront ur mother about it or keep an eye on her for a bit more longer. then if ur suspicions are right then tell ur dad if not then forget about it

Reply 2

souljav

Talk to your mum. Tell her what you noticed and what you think and see how she responds. It’s better to make sure your suspicions are right (which, from how you described, proabavly are) before telling your dad or not.

If she is, and she’s honest with you then between you can decide the best action. Maybe she’s not physically cheated yet, so it’s just blowing steam or she has, and you finding out will force her to tell you dad. Or you can make the decision to tell him of course if she refuses.

Or maybe she lies to you, but hopefully you’ll be able to pick up on it.

Reply 3

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Why would your mother be having an intimate / sexual conversation with another guy, whilst knowing full well that you were listening to the conversation? Doesn't seem all that plausible.

Reply 4

bigplongus

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

Why would your mother be having an intimate / sexual conversation with another guy, whilst knowing full well that you were listening to the conversation? Doesn't seem all that plausible.

they said while trying to sleep, i assume the mum of OP thought they were asleep and they were sharing a room so could be easily overheard?

Reply 5

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Original post by bigplongus

they said while trying to sleep, i assume the mum of OP thought they were asleep and they were sharing a room so could be easily overheard?

Maybe - bit weird though. Someone having an affair would be pretty stupid to take a risk like that in the same room as their sleeping child.

Reply 6

rodiane17

Tell your father. Adults should settle this between themselves. I feel sorry for you. I cant imagine how you were feeling at that moment when things slowly unravel based on their conversation.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Totally can feel you, the exactly same thing happened to me 2 years ago. After a long internal fight, I decided not to voice out and try to keep everything underground. But my situation might be slightly different with yours:

1) My father is on some serious treatment and cannot afford to face such a big mess
2) I know my father well and he will definitely not forgive my mom for this. This leads to a great dilemma: to divorce, then he himself will be in big trouble. Not divorcing, then he will be the one suffering.
3) From what I see, I am certain that my mom still cares / loves my dad, she supports my dad in everyway she can and she really did a great job in take caring my dad throughout the whole journey.
4) Which is a bit selfish I admit this, but I don't think I can accept to see my parents splitting up.

Well, there's another option as suggested above which is to confront your mom, but I did not choose to do so because this might lead to 2 very extremely different scenario. Either she cuts off the connection immediately, or she just gives everything out (which is what I do not hope to see), thus I did not do so.

All in all, the decision is up to you, but from my experience, keeping everything up to yourself is a tough and torturing thing. I did so to protect my father from facing such a difficult process (I would rather he don't know anything and live happily), but this might not be the best solution.