I’m currently 17 year old female, which is a a very young age i know.
My mom and I today had a random conversation, and she was telling me how her brother married this girl he met in a week and got engaged to her a few days after he met her purely because he wanted an England VISA (it was basically an arranged marriage, they had both never met before that).
Similarly, my mother married my dad through an arranged marriage and they never knew each other before that.
Idk why but I really don’t like the idea of that. Obviously, you probably think I shouldn’t worry because I’m young, but it seems like my mom is almost ‘brainwashing’ me into thinking this is also right for me too.
Once my mom was married, she moved to England and knew absolutely no one. Her story once she was married is so so unfortunate: how she was treated by her in-laws and had to live under their control for several years as she lived in the same tiny house as them.
Sometimes, i can really tell that my mom wishes she got married to someone else by her little ‘ jokes’ and comments. It’s sad really.
I wish I could say that my parents get along, but in all honesty, they don’t. They have arguments every day without fail.
I don’t want this to happen to me. Apparently it’s ‘our culture’ to do this (though my cousins are picking and choosing who they want to date and marry).
If this is what my culture is about, marrying someone to borderline take advantage of them, then I don’t want to be a part of it.
I’m a very well educated girl and I think I will genuinely go far in life, but I don’t want to waste all my hard work just to be forced to marry someone. It really annoys me.
My mom also says that dating outside my culture feels
awkward. It just feels like I’m going to relive her whole story.
I know I’m young, but my mom keeps talking about it so it’s a hard conversation to avoid