overcoming shyness at Uni!

i'll be going to uni this september and I will be moving away from home on my own. I am really shy when I meet people and very quiet in large social circles and I am worried that no matter how much I tell myself to get involved in lots of things, iniate conversations with people and go out a lot. basically try! I am so worried that i won't do this. That my shy-ness will get in the way! I do, as most shy people do, have a loud/funny side to me. I just wish I could show it more. I know a lot of people are more open to making friends at uni as lots of people go on there own. i am so determined to make friends and meet new people! But I am a shy girl!..

Does anyone have any experience of overcoming shyness at uni? Has anyone been room-mates with someone really shy/quiet? What was it like?

Thanks in advance :smile:

Reply 1

Dark Horse

Original post by Anonymous

i'll be going to uni this september and I will be moving away from home on my own. I am really shy when I meet people and very quiet in large social circles and I am worried that no matter how much I tell myself to get involved in lots of things, iniate conversations with people and go out a lot. basically try! I am so worried that i won't do this. That my shy-ness will get in the way! I do, as most shy people do, have a loud/funny side to me. I just wish I could show it more. I know a lot of people are more open to making friends at uni as lots of people go on there own. i am so determined to make friends and meet new people! But I am a shy girl!..

Does anyone have any experience of overcoming shyness at uni? Has anyone been room-mates with someone really shy/quiet? What was it like?

Thanks in advance :smile:

I wouldn't say you have to be an extrovert or the life and soul of the party to make friends. You'll be fine.

Reply 2

Silver Arrow

19

PM if you'd like to talk okay? :smile:

Reply 3

aaron1

1

hey i no exaculi how u feel i stayed in my room for he 1st 2 days of freshers week i was shy/ nervous about meeting people gettin worried if they would like me or not. but they are in the same situration, they want to meet people. uni isnt like (1st years mainly its liturally u can go hi my name is X, im from Y and i stay Z how about u simple) very rarely u would get a negative reply.
i overcame my shyness by just going 4 it, give urslef a lil challenge to introduce urself to 5people on the 1st day or sothing sounds silly but once u do it ull releaise that it isnt so bad at all. uni is the best time of ur life... if u let it b so be a social butterfly
i made tons of friends at uni ended up becoming extremly popular by the end of 3rd year and no1 would belive i was a shy kid in 1st year.
enjoy it and go 4 it. worry does not exist remember that :-)

Reply 4

Jiraiya

Go to some drama group things or try some drama techniques with some new people!

It helped me open up and find a way of expressing myself back in school and I will always love drama and acting for that :smile:

Reply 5

WeekendOffender

3

You have to remember that you're in the same boat as everyone else when starting University. Especially if you're moving away from home - everyone in the halls will have done exactly the same thing, otherwise they wouldn't be in the halls in the first place. The vast, overwhelming majority won't know anyone when they first get there, and those who do will probably only know a few people from school. Even at that, most people in this situation go on to make new friends anyway rather than staying friends with the people they knew upon starting uni.

Things that would otherwise be considered a bit forward are acceptable and essential when you first start uni. Don't be afraid to knock the person's door across from you and just introduce yourself. It can be quite awkward, but just talk to anyone and everyone (waiting in queues, outside classes etc.). The more people you talk to, the more people will talk back, and the more people you will be acquainted with. You won't be friends with every single person you speak to, of course, but you will make more friends this way than if you remain silent all the time. And you also have to be prepared to accept the fact that not every single person you speak to will like you, but such is life. Being disliked by people means they form an opinion of you, which I see as being more important than everyone having no opinion either way because you're so quiet.

The key is to adopt the festival mentality when first starting uni - everyone talks to each other at festivals. It's a friendly atmosphere.

Reply 6

dungeonkeepr

I was pretty damn shy - a lot of the time, anyway. Uni is very different though, as you're always around people. Just let yourself be carried along, say yes to every outing, every society that seems even vaguely interesting and just take any opportunity you get. You'll find somewhere to fit in, and get more confidence in social situations :smile:

Reply 7

satisfactionatlast

20

Original post by Anonymous

i'll be going to uni this september and I will be moving away from home on my own. I am really shy when I meet people and very quiet in large social circles and I am worried that no matter how much I tell myself to get involved in lots of things, iniate conversations with people and go out a lot. basically try! I am so worried that i won't do this. That my shy-ness will get in the way! I do, as most shy people do, have a loud/funny side to me. I just wish I could show it more. I know a lot of people are more open to making friends at uni as lots of people go on there own. i am so determined to make friends and meet new people! But I am a shy girl!..

Does anyone have any experience of overcoming shyness at uni? Has anyone been room-mates with someone really shy/quiet? What was it like?

Thanks in advance :smile:

I was the same thing in high school. I was so shy to an extent that I couldn't call a friend's name out from across the classroom. I was always the "quiet" one in class. Yeah pathetic :sad:

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut! Uni life has changed me so much! Got to know the right people, made friends, became social....

People keep asking me, are u SURE you were shy in school? :tongue:

What can I say? Uni life does wonders :smile:

Hoping the same thing for you! Just remember, you're new to uni...people don't know who you are...it's always the first impression that counts... good lucccccck :biggrin:

Reply 8

blue1092

everyone will be in the same situation, so i'm sure you'll be fine :smile:

most people will be nervous and will want to make friends so everyone will be uber friendly and approachable :smile:

i used to be painfully shy during sixth form; i'm not sure i'd describe myself like that anymore, but i'm naturally very quiet. i've been spending my gap year working at a shop, and interacting with the customers and staff has really made myself much more confident and i've definitely overcome some of my shyness. :smile:

at uni there will be plenty of opportunities to socialise and join societies etc so try not to worry about it too much!
the more you are around other people and face your fears, the less scary they become.
good luck :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 9

Phobia27

14

The best way to gain confidence is to fake confidence, do or say something you wouldn't normally do, and eventually in time it will come natural to you.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks x

overcoming shyness at Uni!

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