Do your parents shout at and call you names?

There came a time where I had to sit my parents down and tell them that the time when I would be treated like a kid was over, and that if they wished me to be respectful to them they must respect me as an adult.

I explained that if they would treat me as a child, I would act like a child. If they would treat me as an adult, I would be an adult.

That was when I was 18 - two years ago. In our house now everyone respects me and I respect them. we don't argue and it's just so much more relaxing to be at home now.

At 20, this is what your life should be like. I suggest you have that talk too. If you have the balls to, and really it took a lot to do that.

Your mum sounds fun.

Best and most helpful post so far.

Generally, I behave like an adult until my mother treats me like a child. The strange thing is that my mother has generally been trusting up until now, and we can't seem to get along at all.

My mother just had a go at me, shouting, swearing and slamming a door in my face...because I asked her not to butt in when on the phone. I was making plans for going out and she was criticisingly offering her 'opinion' on what I should and shouldn't be doing. Christ, I'm 20 and can make my own decisions.

So what's your relationship with your parents like? Do they shout at you/call you names etc?

Well it's the balance you have to sort out. I can understand what you're on about entirely.

The thing she needs to remember is that her treating you in this way is one of the most potent causes of you acting that way! And from that, you acting that way is why she acts in that way towards you too, it's all a circle that you need to even out.

While you realise that anyway, she does not and she can't remember being as young as you, she probably doesn't even realise that you've grown up so fast - you won't react to tellings off in the way that you used to, instead it causes hostility. Rightfully so, you're an adult and you should not be talked to in that way.

I don't get these people saying "She's your mother, your under her roof blah blah"
Be that as it may, at the end of the day you're the master of your own life. BUT she simply does not realise that yet.

Trust me I have been here before and as a (no disrespect) slightly more confrontational person than you perhaps, this was the way I dealt with it as soon as I could.

She'll respect your guts and your honesty. You'll feel better for it. And life will be more comfortable. Question is, are you ready to stand up like that? If you promise to be there for her as an adult, then she should have no reason to treat you as the child you used to be.

So true.

To an extent, her realising this will mean accepting I am an adult(I mean she sort of realises it, but not fully) and don't need her as much for certain things. Maybe she's not ready for that yet.

Well about an hour after this happened I then went to speak to her and said I thought I was owed an apology. She said she would not be apologising and that in fact I owed her one for the way I had 'behaved'. When I camly asked her what I'd done/said that had upset her(and I did say it calmly) she replied with 'Look, I'm not having an argument and you're just trying to start one.' I again calmly said I wasn't and was just trying to sort things out. She then said she wouldn't be conversing with me any more and from thereon ignored me I then got pretty angry. Of course in response to her actions, again...she continued to ignore me.

I have stood up to her. I do stand upto her. She ignores me and won't listen. I'll have to try again. Tomorrow perhaps.