Ex - Friend wants to be friends again, not sure what to do?

Okay so i fell out quite badly with somebody who was a very close friend (known her for 11 years) about 3 months ago, and we haven't spoke since. Basically she messaged me this morning saying that she was having friends round tomorrow night for drinks and she wants me to come as "she doesn't feel right me not being there as a lot of our mutual friends will be there."

I honestly don't know what to do, i feel like its a bit of a shame and a bit immature of me to not go as we've known each other for so long, but i also think that it could be a bit awkward as everyone who is going knows that we fell out, and also with it being in her house i feel like i'm under pressure to be really nice to her and stuff, when i don't really feel ready to be like all best friends with her again.

So yeahh what would you do in this situation and what do you think i should do? should i go or not ?

Reply 1

ta duck

10

I would probably just go instead of isolating myself

Reply 2

mantealgorth

Original post by *Amaia*

Okay so i fell out quite badly with somebody who was a very close friend (known her for 11 years) about 3 months ago, and we haven't spoke since. Basically she messaged me this morning saying that she was having friends round tomorrow night for drinks and she wants me to come as "she doesn't feel right me not being there as a lot of our mutual friends will be there."

I honestly don't know what to do, i feel like its a bit of a shame and a bit immature of me to not go as we've known each other for so long, but i also think that it could be a bit awkward as everyone who is going knows that we fell out, and also with it being in her house i feel like i'm under pressure to be really nice to her and stuff, when i don't really feel ready to be like all best friends with her again.

So yeahh what would you do in this situation and what do you think i should do? should i go or not ?

She might be inviting you just because other people are expecting you to be there, it looks like its the case. I wouldn't go and give it a bit of time. tell her that you are not friends because you are 'suppose to'.

Reply 3

Wahaaaay

9

Depends why you fell out really. I assume it must have been quite serious if you've known her for 11 years and it led to you not speaking to her? The ball's in your court.

Reply 4

*Amaia*

OP

Original post by ta duck

I would probably just go instead of isolating myself

I'm not isolating myself, i still see all of my other friends just not her.

Reply 5

Derfel

14

Depends on what you stopped being friends over and whether you want her back as a friend.

Reply 6

Marinated_in_Joy

10

Well why did you fall out with her? Think about that and then that'll give you your answer.

I fell out with a best friend and it's been 2 years and we still haven't spoken, even though she tried to make friends a few times since but the reason I stopped being friends is that she was a psycho bitch.

Reply 7

clare.is.rice

give her another chance, what have you got to lose, if it goes badly you remain not friends, if it goes well you might have a friend back. It may take a while to trust her again but there's no point remaining bitter, remember she's made the effort to ask you which can't have been easy.

Reply 8

twelveus12

Dunno when this was posted, so delete which is applicable:
A) Please say you'll go, or
B) Please say you went
11 years is a bloody long time to be friends, why lose her now? Of course, you haven't told us exactly what made you guys fall out, but you won't know if you're ready to be friends again if you don't go.
And, like you said, your other friends will be there, so it won't be as pressured as it would be with just two of you.
Be brave, dude xxxxx

Ex - Friend wants to be friends again, not sure what to do?

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