Is it okay for my gf to speak to her ex? (Hear me out)

Is it okay for my gf to speak to her ex? (Hear me out)

Is it okay for my gf to speak to her ex? (Hear me out)


So me and my ex have been together for about 3 years. Don’t get me wrong the first year or so of our relationship wassnt amazing. But we got through it and know we are all good. About a year ago, I found out that she was ‘cheating on me’ with her ex. They’d been messaging secretly behind my back for about a month. He was aware that I was with her. They were going to meet and ‘****’ but she claimed that at the last minute she couldn’t go through with it. We broke up but eventually worked it out, but it was agreed that she would never speak to him again, and would remove him in everything. Fast foward to now and her mate has bumped into her ex in town. Her ex said things to my girlfriends mate which according to my girlfriend ‘it was just really nice things nothing deep’ she then said if she bumped into him on a night out she would have a conversation with him and she wants to be civil. Is this okay? Should she even have the option to be civil after what she done or am I being a **** head?


I’d like to add aswell that her ex does not like me, and has been rude about me in the past for no reason, and she knows this.

*shrug* A difference between actively being friends and being civil if you see someone, you don't have much say over the latter.

With respect, you seem to be misunderstanding what being civil means.

It doesn't mean going out of your way to talk or be overly nice to someone, it just means you being polite enough as and when you do see them or you HAVE to interact with them (for whatever reason). It basically means interacting with them the bare minimum so as you're not seen to be rude, childish or hostile.

If anything, being civil is more for the benefit of others in the group or who are around, so they don't feel awkward or like they have to pick sides.

IMHO, she can be civil to him... but when he tries getting too friendly or he sl**s you off, then she needs to put her foot down.



Exactly this

Exactly also. Like when most breaking couples say 'lets stay friends', what they really mean is 'Lets commit to being kinda ok with each other socially and not cause a scene or division for friends/restaurant staff/traffic police/family. Actually being open friends again takes a lot more work and isn't always possible or desirable.

I think it depends very much on the nature / reason for the break up.